Saturday, April 29, 2006

One Litre of Tears

OST One Litre of Tears

Kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
Hohoemi ga aru to iu yo
Tadori tsuku sono saki ni wa
Nani ga bokura wo matteru

Nigeru tame ja naku
Yume ou tame ni
Tabi ni deta hazu sa
Tooi natsu no ano hi

Ashita sae mieta nara
Tame iki mo nai kedo
Nagare ni sakarau fune no you ni
Ima wa mae he susume

Amagumo ga kireta nara
Nureta michi kagayaku
Yami dake ga ashiete kureru
Tsuyoi tsuyoi hikari
Tsuyoku mae he susume
------------------------------------------------
(translation)

On the other shore of sadness,
It is said that there is a smile
Finally we arrived.
But what are we waiting for?

The purpose is not to run away.
It's to chase after dreams.
We should have gone out to travel,
on that summer day so long ago

Even tomorrow, if you see it.
Though there isn't a sigh either.
Like a ship going against the current flow.
Right now, go forward, move ahead.

Even if it cuts through the rain and clouds
The wet roads shine.
Only the dark will teach,
A stronger and stronger light
Be strong, go forward, move ahead.
--------------------------------------------------
I got this song from a japanese drama called "One Litre of Tears".... i havent finished watching it... but i recommend you to watch it, i believe it will change your life and you will see your life from a different perspective.... It's based on true story, about a 15 yo girl called Muraki Aya... She is a smart, pretty and active girl... one day, she discovered that she has a disease called Spinocerebellar degeneration... (for ppl who dunno, it's a brain disorder that can affect your movement, speech, and sight) there wasn't any cure for that disease... but she didnt give up and become a light for her sorroundings... the main point is... Be strong... dont run away from life... chase your dream... and move on...

ps: for Aya... thanks for the courage.... ^^

God's TooLs...

Hey2!! i can't hardly wait to tell u this story....
Guess who i met last nite?? His name is Richard... he's one of the guys who has been in ICM (Indonesian Campus Ministry) since the 1st time ICM exists...
Well, i dunno him at the 1st time... for me, he was juz a stranger....
then, we started a conversation.... then... i found out sumthing that's really important!!! (for me anyway)
He told me that he works for IDP Jakarta... juz for your information, IDP is an organisation that organised my transference from Curtin Uni (Perth) to Melbourne Uni (Melbourne)....
I was like.. wot??!!! really??!!
And guess wot??!!
Suddenly, from a stranger, he became sumbody that i believe God has used to complete His plan... coz he's the guy who fought and tried to keep me and Tara (my friend who's also transferred to Melb) in the list... he told me that in the meeting, there were 3 guys who adviced him to leave my case... (coz my case was so complicated that it wasnt worth enuf to be fought for :p)... but sumhow... he kept it and fought for it... if he didnt take the decision to keep my case... i wont be here now... so i believe... that it's part of God's plan for my life...

I used to be asking myself and God... have i disobeyed Him by following my own will to move to Melbourne??? but... now i know and believe.... that it is part of His plan... if this is not His plan, i dont think i would be able to be transferred...


PS: Thanks for Richard, Gama, en Ci April... you guys have changed my life... ^_^
For Tara, dont ever regret wot u have done... juz move on... live your life to the max and keep believing in Him... Hopefully, u also believe that this pathway of our lives has been planned by Him...

Friday, April 28, 2006

Posting For MyBestFriend

Dear My Friend...

I know life has been hard for u lately...
I'm so sorry that i can't really do anything for u...
I'm sorry that i can't be at your side when u need me...
I can only listen to your story...
I can only be a place where u can throw all your sadness...
I can only try to make u smile when u cry...
I can only pray for you from here...
Hope that u will be able to heal your heart...
Hope that i can make you feel a lil bit better...
Hope that i've given enuf light and love when u needed me...
Hope that u'll be ok in the end...
Don't forget to get up, be strong and move on...
And where ever u r... i'll be there to support u....
remind u how to fly when u forgot how to fly...
remind u how to smile when u forgot how to smile...
remind u... that u've got a friend in ME!! ^^

WoMeN...

One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."

But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR
WORTH.


So, i post this message juz to remind all WOMEN just how amazing WE are.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Tangan Tuhan...

tangan Tuhan
(by: nikita)

apa yang kau alami kini
mungkin tak dapat engkau mengerti
satu hal tanamkan dihati
indah semua yang Tuhan b'ri

Tuhanku tak akan memberi ular beracun
pada yang minta roti
cobaan yang engkau alami
tak melebihi kekuatanmu

tangan Tuhan sedang merenda
suatu karya yang agung mulia
saatnya 'kan tiba nanti
kau lihat pelangi kasih-Nya
-----------------------------------------------

Ga tw napa... hari ini, gw pulang uni, trus rasanya kepengen aja baca renungan... trus, abis renungan.. tiba2 keinget ama lagu ini... gw dulu tuh suka bgt nyanyiin lagu ini.... (pas ga ada org tentunya... klo ada org, mana berani gw nyanyi) hehehe :p

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

soooo tireeeed.... >_<

hey... i'm so tired at the moment... but i dont wanna sleep yet...
last nite, i rang my friend and talked for bout 2 hours... from dunno when, till 5am!!!
i didnt realise that it was morning already... LoL.... then i slept at 6am... woke up at 11am...
it's not enuf.... at least i have to have 8hrs sleep....

anyway, i played laser zone today... it was pretty fun.. but i got tired easily...
on the 1st game, i was tired already.... and on the 2nd game... i didnt care anymore if sumbody shoot me... coz i juz couldnt be bothered to run.... then, on the 3rd game... my energy came back... and i really enjoyed the 3rd game ^^
next time, i will try paint ball... my friends said it's hurt.... but i guess it'll be fun... ^^

tmrw, have to go back to school... :( dont really like my uni... coz i often feel lonely....
eventho i hv few friends to talk to, it's not enuf.... need sumbody that i can share my thought with... oh well, i guess juz need to wait n see.... n keep on trying ^^

Monday, April 24, 2006

Segala sesuatu, ada wktnya...

Pagi ini, susah bgt mo bgn.. dingin.. masi gelap.. rasanya enak bgt klo ngumpet di dlm selimut aja... anget.. hehehe :p

trusnya berhubung uni dah mulai... harus bgn deh... lumayan semangat sih pagi ini... soalnya dari kemaren dah disemangatin banyak org... gw ga mau usaha mereka sia2... ^^ jd gw usahain buat semangat pagi ini.. trus pas gw buka mata... gw liat kamar yg dah rapih... Wuaahhh senangnya!!! ^^ soalnya sejak pulang dr ret2 kan gw kluar rumah mulu... jarang beresin kamar... trus kmrn, gw tuh beresin kamar, meja belajar, n lemari... rasanya seneng bgt ngeliat smua dah rapih...

anyway... trus... hal berikutnya yg gw lakukan adalah ambil alkitab n bedoa... (gw jarang loh kayak gini... cuma gw dah janji ma diri ndiri, gw ga mo naro Tuhan diurutan terakhir... jadi mulai skrg, gw usahain devotion pagi2).... trus... pas bgt deh.. masa bacaannya tuh ttg "waktu".... pasti tw kan?? yg intinya si Pengkotbah bilang, di dunia ini segala sesuatu ada wktnya... n smuanya ini tuh dah direncanain sebaik2nya ma yg nyiptain kita.... trus... gw jadi keinget aja ma obrolan gw ma temen gw td malem...

Buat yg belom tw.. gw cerita lagi deh... wkt gw pertama kali pindah ke Melbourne... sebenernya bisa dibilang tuh gw ga punya tempat tgl.... trus untung aja temen gw punya sodara di sini, jadi kita bedua numpang dulu buat sementara... trusnya lagi, gw punya kenalan (yg sebenernya gw ga kenal2 bgt... soalnya cuma kenal lwt tour) yg punya temen.. trus temennya kenalin ke temennya temennya ke gw... pokonya pjg bgt deh ribet klo diceritain smua... finally.. gw nemu tmp tinggal gw skrg ini.. bisa dibilang atas bantuan "stranger"... emang it's really amazing when i think about it... gw pecaya smua ini bukan kebetulan.... it's all has been planned...

Trus ada lagi nih satu hal.. yg ga pernah lepas dari pikiran gw... en gw juga yakin lu smua pernah ngalamin... yaitu soal PACAR... hehehe :p
Kemaren ini, gw lagi ngerasa kesepian gitu, soalnya housemate gw pegi smua... trusnya gw ga ada temen ngobrol... akhirnya, gw telp ade gw... ngobrol ma dy... trus gw bilang lagi kesepian... eeeehhhh dy dgn belagunya ngomong ke gw... "makanya, cari pacar donk!"... kurang ajar ga sih??!! emang sih, ade gw itu dah punya co... tp ya.... namanya juga masi sma... gw ga tw lah.. susah ngomong ma dy... prinsip gw ma dy laen.... Buat gw tuh, pacar gunanya bukan buat dijadiin temen klo lagi kesepian doank... pacar itu adl calon temen hidup gw... pacar itu adl org yg gw mau spend the rest of my life with... pasti kedengerannya kok cupu bgt ya?? bodo ah... bnyk org bilang ke gw.... klo ga usaha, ga bakal dapet pacar.. pacar ga bakal dateng ndiri... ada juga yg blg... jaman skrg masi aja mikir kayak gitu... emang sih kadang gw bisa goyah dlm megang prinsip gw.... tp biasanya gw nyadar n lgs inget lagi sih ma prinsip gw... buat gw... pacaran tuh bukan maenan.... makanya gw rada ga ngerti napa org bisa ganti2 pacar... cepet bgt lagi... buat gw, pacar itu musti di cari pelan2, di pilih pelan2.... di pikir baek2... mgkn kedengeran tll serius... tp pacaran itu kan emang hal yg serius.... masa ditanggepinnya maen2 coba?!

Buat para jomblo out there.... ini pesen gw... jangan deh terburu2 cari pacar... gw tw, jaman sekarang klo ga punya pacar, kesannya ga cool.... ga laku... tp kan masi banyak hal dlm hidup ini yg bisa dilakuin daripada cari pacar n meratapi nasib jomblo kita..... mendingan dipake semaksimal mgkn, mumpung masi free... hehehee ^^
Inget, kita ini dah disiapin pasangan hidup ama Tuhan.. jadi ga usah takut ga dapet... Segala sesuatu ada wktnya... n Tuhan bakal bikin itu indah pada wktnya.... klo lu buru2, ntar malah salah pilih n yg ada cuma penyesalan aja.... ga mau kan??!!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Am I Lucky?? (yesss...)

hey... juz feel like sending a posting about sumthing that i've been wanted to write but neva really in the mood... and now, dunno why, i think it's the rite moment...

I think we all have felt that we're not lucky enuf, at least once in our lives...
well, that's wots happen to me few times when i was at the low point of my life...
but.... i'm so lucky... that i'm surrounded by ppl who always remind me how lucky i'm...

firstly is my mum... when i started to winge and winge and winge...
she'll listen to me patiently... and will give an advice which makes me feel better...
once, i told her that i'm so unlucky... on that day, i have been thru a lot of bad things...
(but, when i look back and think about that time, it wasn't that bad... it could be worst...)
anyway.... continuing my story... then my mum said sumthing that made me realise how lucky i am... she said... "so, dont u feel that u're lucky??"... and suddenly, i juz couldnt say anything...
she didnt told me not to winge (coz it's good for my emotional health... :p)... but, by saying that sentence... she reminded me... it's like she's saying that "my girl, u r lucky... and i dont care how u feel... how bad is your mood at that moment... i'll be there for u.... i'm here for u... isn't that enuf for u??"... i realise i'm soooooooooo lucky!!!!
there has been alot of blessings that i've got in my life... i still have my family... i can still breath... i can see... i can speak... i can type this msg... i can do anything that i wanted... i'm free... (i dont wanna sound so religious... but the luckiest thing in my life is that i have God who loves me the way i am... who always there...)

next thing... i have friends who want to accept me the way i am...
they r always there for me... when i'm down.... there's always sumbody who supports me...
and again... i will say that i'm so lucky to have all of this in my life...

few days ago, one of my friends asked me... he asked what presents i got for my bday...
i told him... i didnt get any of the things that he called as 'presents'... but... i get everything that i needed... and it's more than a 'present'... it's more than anything... wot can i ask for more??? on my bday, i got retreat as a present... i got new friends as a present... i got God's blessings, i got messages from my friends (means they remember me n my bday)... i got a phone call on my mobile in the morning from my family (they dont usually ring me to mobile... expensive :p)... the most important present is that i got LOVE... it's more that anything... coz i can't buy love... and it will last forever... coz love will last for eternity... thank you for everything... for all of u who has read this.... my msg for u... when u feel that u r unlucky... always remember that u r luckier than wot u think... ^_^

Saturday, April 22, 2006

my retreat story....

hey!! i wanna share my experiences that i got from the retreat few days ago....
so, here's the story....

It was 14 April... and i couldnt sleep... coz i was to excited to go to the retreat and of course because it's also my b'day... anyway... finally i managed to sleep at 2.30am... and then i had to wake up by 7am (luckily, my friend rang me to wake me up-thx Harph ^^)... had shower... had breakie... then go to level 8 to see Imel n the others.... there i met Novi and Iin... by 8am, we off to the church where we usually have our fellowship... then... i met lotsa new friends from Brisbane... i juz couldnt stop talking... i was too excited... even tho i was so tired....

anyway... after everyone is there... we started to march to Eildon... there were 11 cars if i'm not mistaken... and heaps of ppl...

i was planning to sleep in the car... it took 2hrs drive to get there... so i'll give me enuf time to sleep.... but i couldnt... my eyes juz doesnt wanna shut.... and i'm glad that i didnt sleep coz the view was incredible.... it reminds me to Puncak... but it was much better... much more beutiful...


i like nature so much... maybe that's why it's a refreshment for me.... esp. coz where i live now, i wont be able to see view like that.... i can only see buildings and street lights.... that's why i'm so happy to see the view... there are sum cattles and vineyards too on the side of the road.... it's so country!!


ummm sorry... i'm out of track... (hehhee... too excited tokin bout the view) :p
btw, i hv a picture of sum ppl that i met during the retreat.... hv a look...


It was raining, but everyone were so excited... they were posing under the colourful umbrella and cant standing still coz it was so windy and cold... wakakaka ^0^

There's none like YOU...

THERE IS NONE LIKE YOU

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart
Like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You

Your mercy flows like a river wide
And healing comes from Your hands
Suffering children are safe in your arms
There is none like You

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is one of the songs that were sung during the retreat alot of times... and it becomes one of my favourite... coz it really touches my heart n reminds me that my God is the God who loves.... God who's very patient.... He's always there.... and always waiting for me to go home... to go back to Him...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

tired...

hhfff... so tired today... guess it's carried on from the retreat....
since the retreat, i haven't hv a good nite sleep... didnt sleep long enough...
i know i'm tired and need to sleep, but my body juz doesnt wanna sleep...
i always find sumfin to do... and lately, i cannot sleep before i tok to somebody...
every nite, i always ring sumbody before i go to bed... anyone... can be my mum or my friends...

btw, i've juz cumback from Coles.... i went there juz to get a can of apricot nectar (for the cake i wanna make) but then, i couldnt help myself.... i bought more things than wot i was planning to buy.... oh well... i was hungry... hehehehe :p

it's showering outside... and so windy...
and before i went to coles, my housemate (Melanie) asked me to be her model....
(btw, she's studying photography in RMIT...) i couldnt say no... so, we went to Vic Mart and i had to squat at the side of the road... and wot i can tell u is... that it was FREEZING!!!

umm... wot else can i tell u??? i think that's all for now... i'm so hungry and cant think and type anymore..... i ran out of energy... (>_<) :p

Friday, April 14, 2006

hepi bday to me...

Hey! it's 14 April!!! which means.... it's my bday!!! ^^
huehehe... i dont really like to expose my bday... but thru this post, i wanna share my happiness.... that God gives me another day to live and to develop in Him...

thanks for all of my friends who have tried really hard to remember my bday... and congratulate me thru phone or sms.... ^^ even sum ppl congratulate me a day earlier.... LoL ^_^
i appreciate it a loT!!! i'm glad i have u guys... and i'm more than happy to share this moment wif u all....

btw, i gtg go now... can't type much... coz it's so late already... and i need to pack up my stuff for the retreat tmrw (have to leave home by 8am >_< ).... feel so excited!!! retreat, here i come!!!! ^^

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

bored....

hey... it's me again... still at uni... waiting for my next tutorial....
it's gonna be a long day for me... start at 9am and finish at 8pm.... :(

dunno wot to say....
oh!!! juz remember sumfin...
yesterday.. i finally bought the mp3 player that i've always wanted....
its a "black creative nano zen plus"!!!


I have thought to buy it since last year... but i'm not sure which type or colour that i wanted...
after a long discussion wif my cousin (koko) and my friends.... i still wasnt sure yet....
But i really need it... coz i wanna use it for voice recording....
The more i think about it, the more i get confused and stressed....
and finally it's come to the point where my koko said... "Nov, it's juz an mp3.... juz pick one, and buy one... dont think to much about it..." Hmm... it really made me realise that i was stressing to much bout a little thing.... and it affects almost every aspects in my life at that moment....
anyway, so i decided to pick one and buy it straight away yesterday... it feels so good....
coz i finally get wot i wanted... and the most important thing is that i finally be able to decide.... MAKING a DECISION and taking a RISK.... thats wot it's all about.... (i guess...)

I dunno since when.... i'm juz too scared to make a quick decision and taking risks...
it can take me ages to decide on buying sumthing that i know i really like... and it can ended up not buying it at all.... for example a parfume from the body shop.... i really like sum scents... and i couldnt decide which one i should pick.... and until now i havent picked one....
i have a reason for this tho... for me, perfume is sumthing that is really personal....
i want it to express my personality.... that's why i'm so careful in choosing it...

anyway, that's about me and my problems.... :p
wanna say sumthing too? pls post your comment in the comment box provided.... thx.... ^_^

English...

Hey! I'm at uni now... finished my lecture half an hr earlier.... so i thought why don't i write down sumthing on my blog... ^^

Firstly, i wanna say sorry to ppl who's have a look at my blog and dissapointed coz u cant understand it... i know i should've write it in english.... but sumtimes i juz couldnt find the right word in english... then, i started to write in indo... but from now on.... i will try harder to write more in english for u ppl!!! ^^

anyway.... i can't wait for the holiday.... it's 2days to go!!!!
alsoo cant wait for the retreat.... i'll go to (ummm... forgot wot it's called :p), it's sumwhere out of the city... i need a break from the city's bz-ness.... :p

ok, i gtg now.... my next lec will start in 5 minutes... cya!!! ^^

Saturday, April 08, 2006

oNLiNe..

Yeee!!! dah bisa online lagi!!! pake kompie gw ndiri loh!!! ^^
walau cuma buat sementara... tetep aja seneng bgt!!! ^^

Hari ini gw seharian ngutak2 komputer melanie n punya tara.. punya mereka internetnya dah bisa jalan... tp punya gw blom bisa... eeehhh, ga twnya skrg dah bisa!!! ^^ seneng abies!!! ^^
mulai sekarang (hopefully) gw bisa lebih sering kirim posting2 deh ^^ i really wanna share my happiness with someone... but no one is at home atm... so.... i send this post, so that i can share it to all of u! ^^ hehehe :p

dah dulu deh ya, mo belajar dulu nih, senen selasa ada midtest, tp blom bljr, gara2 seharian ngutak ngatik kompie...

(kayaknya gw seharusnya belajar IT ato comp sci deh... hehehe :p)

DiABoLo

Hey, i learned sumthin new yesterday @ ICM...
I learned to play DIABOLO!!! I guess most of u have never heard of it... neither have i... till last nite.... ^^

Here is the picture.... I guess u've seen it before... especially if u've watched a circus before... (if u r interested to find more info bout it... u can click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabolo)

It's quite similar to Yoyo... but not exactly the same.... and it's also a good fun to do.... last nite, i spent like 2hours non stop playing this thing... coz it makes me so curious... it can be tricky and hard sumtimes... esp. when u r trying harder tricks...

Anyway, it's fun for me... thanks for Soni who has introduced it to me... ^^

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I've had a bad day...

Ihhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sebel... sebel....sebel.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bego bgt sih gw!!!!!

Pernah ga sih?! Dalam satu hari ngerasa itu adalah a good day... and suddenly... juz becoz u forgot to validate your ticket, all of a sudden it turns to a very22222 BAD day!!!!
Wot i hate most is that i can not blame anyone, coz it's my own fault!!!
WOt on earth was on my mind??!!! how come i forgot??!!!
n how come that guy came to me and check my ticket at the exact time when i forgot to validate it??!!! where were you when i have a validated ticket??!!! DAMN!!!

now... i dunno wot's gonna happen to me.... juz have to wait and see... and prepare sum money.... (to pay the fine....) T_T hiks...

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

My Diary

This is something i extract from my diary...


Kenapa??? (by Novy 10/6/05)

Kenapa ya seorang manusia tuh ga pernah puas akan apa yg dy punya?
Knapa ya?? Aku ga tw mo bilang apa... sebagai seorang manusia, aku tidak punya jawabannya.... walaupun aku sendiri mengalaminya....

Aku tidak pernah puas karena aku adalah aku....
Kadang aku ingin jadi seperti dia...
Padahal dia dan aku itu berbeda...
Dan perbedaan yg ada itu ada karena suatu alasan...
Bukan kebetulan...

Yang menciptakan aku dan dia berpendapat bahwa perbedaan itu baik...
Tapi kenapa yg diciptakan malah tidak suka???
Padahal yg mencipta tau yg terbaik bagi yg diciptakan....
Aneehhh....

Aku tau aku ini seperti ini karena inilah yg terbaik bagiku....
Tapi kok aku kadang tdk suka ya?
Aku mau jadi lebih pintar (tapi males belajar...)
Aku mau jadi lebih baik dari org lain...
Aku mau jadi lebih sukses dari org lain...
Aku mau jadi lebih cantik dari org lain....
Aku mau jadi lebih kaya dari org lain...
Aku mau jadi lebih hebat dari org lain (sombong bener....)
Aku mau jadi LEBIH!!!!

Kenapa???
Kenapa aku ga puas aja sama keadaanku sekarang?
Alasannya org yg puas dengan keadaannya itu ga punya ambisi...
Ga punya tujuan hidup...
Tp klo aku sudah jadi lebih, mau apa aku nanti?
Akankah aku kehilangan tujuan hidupku?
Memangnya apa sih tujuan hidupku?
Kenapa aku mau lebih?
Padahal yg mencipta aku bilang aku itu sudah lebih dari ‘lebih’...
Aku ini sudah sempurna dimataNya wkt aku diciptakan...
Yg menyedihkan lagi...
Apa yg aku mau lebih, adalah hal2 duniawi...

Kenapa aku tidak pernah mau jadi lebih dekat denganNya?
Kenapa aku tidak pernah mau jadi lebih mengasihiNya?
Kenapa aku tidak pernah mau jadi lebih mengenalNya?
Itulah tujuan hidupku....
Tapi kenapa aku malah tidak pernah mau???
Aneehhh...

....

I've juz got home.... tonite is so windy and cold outside... it's not winter yet and i can't stand the cold already... how will i cope with the winter in Melbourne??!!!

Anyway... i woke up late this morning... hahaha... it's my 1st time in Melbourne... so practically, i missed 1 of my lecture tday... fortunately, it wasnt very important... juz sum IT stuff.... i guess i'm gonna be late more often from now on.... :p

Yesterday... i spent most of my afternoon talking to my friend in indo on the phone.... and now.... i dunno wot to do... it doesnt mean i dun have anything to do... i juz dont wanna do it... i sort of losing my purpose... i dunno why i chose to move to this place.... i dunno why i'm taking this course... i dunno why i'm here??!!! have u ever been in my situation?? where u think that it's not really wot ur heart tells u.... but u still keep go on.... coz u juz cant really turn back anymore...

hfff... i dunno.... my life seems more complicated than it's ever been... i sort of running out of time now... i cant find peace anymore.... i need peace... i need a break... i need sumthing.... but i dunno wot that is... it's the "shadow" in my dream...

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

pernah ga???

Lu pada pernah ga sih?? yg suka ma co/ce... trusnya, temen baek lu ternyata suka juga ma org yg sama... trus ternyata lagi, hal yg paling nyesek tuh.... co/ce itu malah suka ma temen baek lu!!! DAMN banget kan??!! Itu rasanya dah kayak di tusuk dari belakang trus ketimpa tangga pula... hehehe :p

Barusan, ada temen gw curhat soal "love life"-nya... kejadiannya sama kayak yg di atas... gw juga ga tw mo bantu gimana... soalnya emang ga ada yg bisa gw lakuin... dah dari dulu gw bilang ama dy buat lupain tuh co... tp emang ngomong itu lebih gampang daripada prakteknya... :p Sampe skrg, dy masi ga bisa lupain... n ternyata tuh co malah suka ma ce laen yg (sialnya!!) temen baeknya dy ndiri!!! Emang sih, temen baeknya itu lebih cantik, lebih feminin.... lebih segala2nya deh... she's the type of girl yg co2 ga bakal bisa tolak... tp knp ya?? kita seringkali liat org dari luarnya aja??? gw ga bisa nyalahin co selalu cari ce yg "cantik"... soalnya ce ndiri juga klo milih co, pasti liat luarnya dulu juga.... gw cuma sedih aja buat temen gw... mgkn mustinya gw ga bole sedih buat dy... soalnya who knows, sebenernya Tuhan dah ngerencanain sesuatu yg lebih baik dari yg bisa manusia liat n bayangin... we never know...

MuLeS... >_<

Adduuuhhh... mules nih... kayaknya gw salah makan nih hari ini.... >_<
Hari ini mayan dingin, tp ga kayak kemaren.. trus, gara2 hari ini rada dingin... gw jadi kepengen bikin cookies.... trus, pas gw crita ke Tara... dy mendukung gw buat bikin... akhirnya, gw pulang dr uni, lgs bikin cookies deh.... tp kayaknya gw salah beli butter n kayaknya kurang flour juga.. jadinya menurut gw sih rada bantet.... enak sih... tp... bikin gw jadi mules... Duuuhhh!!! jangan2 food poisoning nih.... huehehe ^^ (kok dah keracunan masi bisa ketawa ya?!)

Oiya, hari ini kan assignment Aust Agriculture gw dah selese... dah gw handed in... trus... jadi ngerasa rada bebas deh... (padahal masi belom tuh... masi bnyk tugas...) Trus ada yg ngajakin nonton V for Vendetta... ato apa gitu... pokoknya yg ada V-nya... hehehe... tp tuh org bilang kayaknya ga jadi... jadinya gw blom tw deh bakal nonton ato ga...

duuhhh... sakit perut... >_<

Saturday, April 01, 2006

ApRiL..

GUeSs wot?!! it's the 1st day of April todaY!!! ^^
i dunno why, i always feel excited when April comes... i guess becoz it means the holiday is getting closer... the easter is closer... and my BDAY is coming soon!!! hehehe ^^
I juz like April so much... anything which is related to April....
If i'm not mistaken, on the other side of the world... (i mean US)... the spring is started in April... that's why, i associate April with new life... ^^ bright colours... new spirit.... etc...

btw, it's also an April fool day today! i've juz realised that... hehehe ^^