sumfin missing

There's sumfin missing today...
i lost my interest in writing....
knp ya?? ini gw nulis cuma gara2 lagi bosen aja... baru belajar bentar, dah bosen, padahal examnya besok.. duhhh mo jadi apa gw ntar?? skrg aja malesnya dah ga ketulungan.... really can't wait till all these done... but i know, when i finally graduated, i'll miss this moment... exam moments... lack of sleep moment... try to cram everything in one nite... so, i'll try to enjoy every second of it, coz time won't turn back....

tong kosong nyaring loh!

Pasti pernah denger kan pribahasa yg bilang, ''Tong kosong, nyaring bunyinya''??
Belakangan... kepikiran aja sih, rasanya gw kayak tong yg kosong... alias banyak ngomong, tp ga banyak isi... laen bgt ma org2 yg berpengatahuan luas... ga banyak ngomong, tp sekali ngomong, kata2nya guna en dalem.... sedang gw, asal cuap2 ga dipikir dulu... keluarnya cuma kata2 ga guna yg suka jadi bahan ketawaan org...

Somehow, pribahasa ini juz came into my mind... bener juga sih... tong yg kosong, klo dipukul, pasti bunyinya nyaring, klo tong yg penuh, bunyinya teredam, jadi ga bisa nyaring...
Klo diliat2, banyak juga sih org2 yg biasanya ga banyak tw, tp lagaknya dah kayak yg paling ahli... (kadang gw kayak gt... hehehe :p)... sedang klo org yg bener2 emang tw, ato dah ahli, biasanya ga banyak ngomong... palingan klo dy denger org yg ga tll tw itu ngomong sesuatu yg salah, paling2 dy cuma membenarkan... dy yg ga bakal cuap2 banyak2 ttg apa yg dy tw... ga bakal banyak pamer... mgkn bener juga ya kata org, klo pengetahuan adalah sumber dari kebijaksanaan... org yg pinter belom tentu bijaksana sih... tp org yg bijaksana itu, biasanya pinter (cerdik)...

Gw ga mo jadi tong kosong yg nyaring lagi ah... walo mgkn sekarang gw ini kosong, gw mo jadi tong yg mau diisi, biar ga kosong lagi... dan ga nyaring2 amet bunyinya... hehehe :p

another idea to be written

kok gw bisa2nya ga pernah keabisan ide buat ditulis ya??
yaaa bersyukur aja deh gw masi bisa nulis...

kali ini... gw mo cerita ttg gw lagi... hehehe... as always..
klo ga salah, gw dah pernah nulis sebelomnya, klo ternyata, ada org2 yg ga gw sangka, baca blog gw... entah itu temen sd gw, ato temen greja gw... ato my long lost friends... gw ga nyangka mereka baca.... dan yg lebih kaget lagi, kadang apa yg gw tulis, bisa kasi masukan buat mereka... bisa kasi impact buat mereka... gw sih bersyukur gw masi bisa nulis, dan gw disadarin, klo gw ini being watched by ppl... secara ga langsung, apapun yg gw lakuin, ato gw tulis, ato gw katakan.. smuanya being watched by ppl dan gw bisa kasi impact buat mereka...

Naahhh skrg, terserah gwnya, mau kasi impact yg baik, ato yg buruk??
yaaa smua org juga pastinya maunya jadi contoh yg baik lah ya... yg kasi impact yg baik buat sekitarnya... makanya.... mulai skrg, i think, gw musti sortir2 sedikit apa yg gw tulis... ga baik mengeluh2 terus di blog... hehehe :p semoga dari apa yg gw tulis, gw bisa memberikan kata2 yg bisa ngebangun org lain... yg bisa encourage org laen...

ngomong2 soal encouragement, td gw baru aja minjem sebuah buku, yg judulnya Silver Boxes: The gift of encouragement... gw baru mulai baca sih, jadi blm bisa cerita banyak... intinya sih, ada di Efesus 4:29 ''Janganlah ada perkataan kotor keluar dari mulutmu, tetapi pakailah perkataan yg baik untuk membangun, di mana perlu, supaya mereka yang mendengarnya, beroleh kasih karunia'' ato klo terjemahan inggrisnya... ''Don't use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing''...
Intinya, si penulis mau ngajak para pembacanya buat stop saying bad things, tp learn to say good things, good words which can benefit others who hears it... biar kata2 yg kita keluarkan dari mulut kita (ato kata2 yg kita tulis di blog misalnya.. :p) adalah kata2 yg kasi encouragement bagaikan kado... a gift.. like little silver boxes with bows on top... :)

being tomboy...

sekali lagi gw mo berkeluh kesah...
sebenernya, gw ga mo mulai posting ini dengan keluhan sih... ok deh, gw mulai dengan ucapan syukur aja... Thanks God, gw dah nyelesein 2 exams... 2 more to go.... so far, gw ngerasa cukup pede... pede dalem artian, gw bakal pass the exam... gw ga peduli dapet bagus apa nggak, yg ptg gw pass dulu... hehehe :p (klo org2 beranggepan gw perfectionist, i've set my standard to the lowest that i can accept....) :p

Makanya.. kmrn gw rasanya lega bgt... seneng bgt aja gt ^_^
tp... yg 2 exam pertama itu, adl subject2 gw yg ''tergampang''... klo yg the next two, tuh yg ''killer''... jadinya yaaa serem2 dikit juga sih.. perjuangan masi panjang nop!! hahaha ^0^

Nah, skrg, baru deh gw berkeluh kesah...
keluhan gw ga penting sih... cuma mo nanya, kenapa sih klo cewek di identikan dengan feminisme... knp klo ce MUSTI feminim?? skali2 tomboy juga gpp kan?? asal sikon-nya pas... pasalnya gini, kmrn tuh kan gw exam, klo yg namanya exam, gw tuh sll milih berpakaian se-comfy mungkin... gw ga peduli lah org mo bilang apa, wong gw mo exam, peduli amet ma penampilan, yg penting tuh penampilan otak gw... hehehe :p trusnya, ternyata biz exam, gw ga sempet pulang lagi, jadi gw lgs ke greja... rasanya aneh sih emang, gw pake baju yg ga biasa gw pake ke greja... cuma... gw pikir, who cares anyway, yg penting kan hatinya... Tuhan mana nilai pakaian sih?? gw punya alesan aniwei... trus ya udah... begitu lah penampilan gw, dengan celana jeans, kaos oblong (yg gambarnya di-comment-in seseorg childish bgt), sepatu sport... (klo ga kebayang.. buat org yg kenal gw wkt smp, kira2 dandanan gw ga jauh beda lah.. hahaha)
So, suatu saat mlm itu, ada yg comment ke gw... cowok bgt sih lu?? hahaha... gw dah biasa sih di comment kayak gini... sampe dah males dengernya.. (apa gw musti dengerin ya?? mumpung masi ada yg mo nasehatin?? tp cuma satu org kok yg komen, jadi gw masi cuekin :p)... excuse gw, gw yg selama ini, dah banyak ngerubah penampilan gw (is it juz to please them??).... klo sekali2 gw balik ke penampilan yg lama, yg urakan, yg make me feel comfy, boleh donk?? gimme a break!!! i know i'm not gonna be able to wear high heels everyday... i will still prefer snickers... coz wearing those high heels juz gonna brake my feet and hurt my back.... believe me guys, it's not as beautiful as it looks.... it's hurting most of the time... maybe what my friend said is right, "it's painful to be beautiful".... hahaha ^0^

never forget the Lord...

HuaahH!! gw gagal lagi buat ga nge-blog... tapi beneran... kali ini gw ngerasa bener2 musti ditulis... hehehe :p

Kemaren, gw dengerin radio, seorg ce cerita klo beberapa wkt yg lalu, dy sempet punya masalah gt deh ma pita suaranya... gw ga tw dy di-diagnose sakit apa, tp intinya, dy ga dibolehin ngomong selama 3 bulan!!! bayangin!! klo ga bole ngomong selama 3 bulan, bakal jadi apa lu?? well, buat gw sih, gw mgkn awalnya susah.... tp lama2 bisa juga lah... sama ky ce ini... berhubung dy itu org Kristen, ya pasti lah cari kekuatannya dari Tuhan... dy cerita, 1 bulan pertama, dy frustasi... bulan ke 2 dy mulai belajar en nerima keadaan... tp tetep depressed.... pas bulan ke 3 inilah... dy banyak belajar en dibentuk ma Tuhan... dy belajar buat mendengarkan... bukan cuma denger (hear), tp dy belajar buat mendengerkan (listen)!! beda loh ya!! anyway, akhirnya dy bisa ngomong lagi sih...

Nahh apa hubungannya sama apa yg mo gw tulis?? Umm... hari ini, gw diingetin lagi buat ga pernah lupain Tuhan dalam setiap segi kehidupan gw... intinya: ''Never forget the Lord''... Klo contoh di atas, wkt lagi ngalamin kesulitan, kita sih pasti ga usah disuruh 2 kali, dah lgs cari pertolongan ke Tuhan... minta kekuatan, minta kesabaran, minta macem2 deh.... tp... pernah kepikiran ga klo kita lagi seneng??? klo hidup kita kayaknya lagi ga ada masalah... smua lancar2 aja... bisnis lancar.. duit ga kekurangan... makanan, baju, rumah smuanya punya... skolah lancar... smuanya sehat... pokoknya ga ada masalah deh... masi inget ga kita ma Tuhan?? bisa dibilang, cobaan paling susah tuh mgkn wkt kita justru lagi ga ngalamin kesusahan... apa kita masi setia ma Dia??

Well, itu aja sih yg mo tulis... cuma mo ingetin temen2, spt gw dah di ingetin... jangan inget Tuhan cuma pas di masa exam... (ga salah kok cari Tuhan pas exam)... tp jangan pas lagi susah2 aja... abis exam Tuhan-nya disumpelin di pojokan... hahaha... marilah kita inget terus ma Dia... ga lupa utk mengasihi Dia setiap wkt, krn itu adl perintah yg utama (Ul 6:12)... mo wkt susah... dan terlebih lagi saat kita senang... ^^

my prayer to you...

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

(Mark Harris-Find Your Wings)

it's not easy...

Pernah denger kan lagu yg judulnya ''It's not easy (to be me)''??
Well, gw bukan mo nulis apa susahnya jadi seorang GUE...
Gw cuma ngerasa... tahun ini, saat usia gw menginjak 19 taon... life seems not as easy as before...
it's not easy to be 19!! (that's what i wanna say..)

Mungkin org yg baca blog gw, klo dah ngelewatin masa belasan taon, bakal bilang, it's not as hard as 20's... well, gw kan belom masuk 20's jadi menurut gw, 19 is not easy... hehehe :p
Kenapa gw bisa bilang gini?? karena... 19 itu taon terakhir masa ''teenager''... masa remaja... 19 itu bisa dibilang masa transisi... masa di mana, seorang manusia dituntut untuk ninggalin masa yg kekanak2an... masa yg tenang... masa yg ga banyak dipusingin... masa yg innocence is sumthing that u can survive with... masa yg... pokoknya ga bisa di-hold terus klo mo move on to the 20's... bagi org yg dah ngalamin masa ini dan dah melaluinya... mgkn beranggapan gw terlalu membesar2kan... gw telalu pusingin hal ga penting kayak gini... mgkn bakal ada yg berpendapat, klo sebenernya, mo 19, ato 20, ga ada bedanya... well... klo itu sih.. gw ga tw yahhh ^^ cuma menurut gw sih, mustinya (normalnya) klo org bertambah umurnya, pasti secara ga langsung tuh org bakal berubah, jadi lebi dewasa... klo ada org yg umurnya dah 25 misalnya, kelakuannya masi kayak anak umur 15, umm... itu mgkn karena pas masa transisi ini lah dy ga pake bener2 wktnya buat m'persiapkan diri buat masa ''org dewasa''... hehehe :p (ga penting ya??)

trus... menurut gw, kenapa berada di usia 19 itu ga gampang, karena bisa dibilang, ini tuh usia dimana org, klo diibaratin ma bunga, lagi mekar semekar2nya... jadi yaaa emang ga gampang buat mekar semaksimal mgkn... pasti ada sakit2nya... pasti ada pengorbanannya... pasti ada susah en sedihnya.. pasti ada jatohnya... pasti ada gagalnya.... tp.. dari situlah banyak pelajaran yg bisa dipetik... biar kita bisa jadi makin mateng... en siap buat ''dunia org dewasa''... hehehe :p
sperti yg temen gw tulis... nothing great comes easy...

hal yg suka gw berasa bener2 susah tuh... klo misalnya deh, gw musti belajar... sebagian dari diri gw yg masi anak2 maunya maen terus.... masa bodo deh ama belajar... pokoknya mau have fun aja... tp bagian dari diri gw yg dah mulai dewasa en mikir jangka panjang, ngasi tw gw keuntungan2 klo gw belajar... ngasi tw gw akibat2nya klo gw ga belajar... etc... susahnya, saat dimana gw musti ambil decision... mo tetep jadi child ato mo belajar mulai ninggalin ke child-ish-an gw... en belajar move on... learn to be maturer... di usia ini... gw banyak bgt belajar... dan lama2 gw bisa ngeliat sesuatu dari sisi pandang org dewasa... kadang wkt gw masi kecil, gw suka ga ngerti kenapa ortu gw ambil suatu keputusan yg ga masuk akal buat gw.... tp skrg, wkt gw belajar cara pikir mereka, cara pandang mereka, gw bisa lebi ngerti... gw bisa terima alesan mereka... lucu emang... kadang gw mikir, Tuhan tuh hebat bgt... Dia kasi kita pelajaran2 ttg kehidupan tahap per tahap... ga langsung di-bombardir dalam 10 taon pertama hidup misalnya.... makanya gw percaya, tiap taon dalam hidup gw... jangankan tiap taon deh, tiap hari aja... gw bakal selalu punya sesuatu yg exciting, yg baru, buat di tunggu2 untuk dipelajari...

So... berapapun usia lu skrg... enjoy every second of it... and keep on learning!!!
tapi sumpehh... to be 19 is not easy!!! hehehe :p

attitude...

Today... it seems like everything that i read, told me to change my attitude...
i'm not quite sure what attitude is, so i opened up my Oxford Learner's Pocket Dictionary... and i found that attitude means the way of thinking or behaving...
Hmm.... juz thinkin.... and letting that definition sink in to my mind... maybe that's what i need...
a change or maybe changes on my attitude... change my way of thinking or behaving or maybe both!!

Lately, i've been feeling unsatisfied wif my life... i juz felt there's sumthing wrong, sumfin is missing... i got an email that told me that a change starts from the inside... totally agree wif that... maybe there's nothing wrong with my life.. it's juz me!! maybe what i need is only to change my way of thinking... try to see things differently... be positive... look at the bright side... and also change sum of my bad behaviour... be on time... never leave everything to the last minute... don't stress out easily... sumtimes what i need is juz to let life flows...
All of that starts from the inside.... from our mind... from our heart... believe it or not, our mind is the centre of (almost) everything and it controls most of our decisions and what we did in our lives... and with a good and pure heart... i believe, we can change our lives to be better or i will say we can change the way we live our lives... make it better and more positive... it's all started from us... from you... from me... from the inside!!! mind and heart...

belahan diriku

waktu aku sendirian...
saat tak ada org lain yg memperhatikan...
aku kerap berbincang dengan belahan diriku yg lain...
saat aku sedang gembira, kan ku sapa dia dengan senyuman dan keramahan...
''Hey, apa kabar?? Kau tampak manis saat tersenyum.. ^_^''
tp saat ku sedih atau merasa gagal, aku sering kali melukainya dan berkata kasar...
"Hey, mau jadi apa kamu, klo begini aja ga bisa??!''
atau saat ku merasa kesepian... akan ku tegur dia dan berbincang dengannya...
''Kemana ya org2?? kok kayaknya pada ilang?? untung ada kamu... ^^''
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Hahaha.... yg baca ini pasti kirain gw gila deh... sering ngomong sendiri...
tp jujur aja deh, masa sih kalian ga pernah ngomong ma diri sendiri??
well, mgkn ga kayak yg gw tulis di atas sih.... tp pasti at least ada sekali kan??
Klo ga pernah, mgkn ada baiknya kita mulai deh ngobrol ma belahan diri kita yg laen....
biar dia ga ngerasa kesepian... ^^

satu exam berlalu...

satu exam berlalu sudah...
jangan tanya gw gimana hasilnya... ga suka membahas yg sudah berlalu... hehehe :p
td pulang abis exam, gw ke saveway, beli tissue buat toilet yg dah lama abis... (ga ada yg beli neh!!!) trus... akhirnya beli macem2 cemilan juga buat stock selama exam... so i guess, i'm gonna put on more weight this month... but who cares... hahaha...

dari td rencananya mo belajar buat the next exam, which is jumat ini...
tp berhubung td gw baru beli dvd kosong, en dah lama bgt berniat buat nge-burn smua data yg ga kepake yg cuma menuh2in kompie gw, gw jadi mo ngeburn dulu...
ehhhh ga twnya musti download software baru juga... alhasil, 4 jam gw spend buat smua itu, tp tetep aja, mpe skrg gw masi ga bisa burn data2 itu ke dvd... kompie gw tetep aja lambatnya amit2... duhhh i wish koko ada di sini... hiks... ntar gw balik, koko juga ga ada... minta sapa ya utak2 kompie gw?? hfff... susah deh klo jadi org gaptek... =_=''

buat yg baca blog gw, sori ya klo belakangan isinya ga bermutu... (biasanya emangnya bermutu??) hahaha... well, intinya isinya lebi ga bermutu dari biasanya lah.... hehehe :p
gw lagi ga punya inspirasi buat nulis... (ada sih, tp males...) :p segini dulu deh ya... daaaahhh!!

my friends wedding...

Pertama2, gw mo ingetin temen2 yg di Melb klo mulai hari ini, kita dah DAYLIGHT SAVING loh!!! which means Melb-Indo jadi beda 4 jam skrg... other meaning, jam tdr gw kurang 1 jam!!! >_< parah!!!

Oiya, pengen cerita ttg kemaren... temen gw, yg skrg bakal gw panggil Ci Lenny en Ko Lukman, menikah!!! huehehe... akhirnya!!! hari yg telah ditunggu2 tiba juga... i guess mereka seneng bgt sampe ga bisa describe... gw aja yg baru kenal mereka bentar, dah seneng bgt buat mereka, apalagi merekanya sendiri.... bisa dibilang ini adl wedding ceremony pertama yg pernah gw hadirin di Melb... and klo ga salah yg ke-3 dalem hidup gw... 2 yg pertama aja itu weddingnya om2 gw.. jadi gw masi kecil dan ga ngerti wkt itu... hehehe :p but i can tell u sumfin... the ceremony was one of the most moving moment (''mengharukan'') in ppl's lives... wkt itu gw jadi usher sih, jadi rada2 sibuk en ga bener2 dengerin kotbahnya... but there's one thing yg gw inget... Ko Dj nanya, ''Apa yg bakal jadi saat yg paling membahagiakan selain hari ini??''... jawabannya adl saat dimana 30-40 taon ke depan, keduanya masi bisa saling bergandengan tangan dan berbagi kasih... it was... a beautiful thought...

Ngomong2 soal pernikahan... saat2 yg paling gw tunggu tuh wkt pengucapan vows... eh.... sedikit mengecewakan, ternyata vows-nya cukup standard... yaaa gpp lah, percuma klo bagus2 tp akhirnya ga dijalanin, cuma buat gombal doank... mendingan standard tp dijalanin bener2.. ^^ pokoknya gw seneng bgt deh buat mereka!!! selamet ya buat Ci Le en Ko Luk... hahaha.. ^0^ (punya julukan baru)... ga ngerti kenapa, kok klo disaat yg paling membahagiakan, tetep aja bisa bikin terharu ya?? hehehe... dasar cewek... :p

invisible

Invisible (by Ashlee Simpson)

Like a grain on the beach
Like a star in the sky
Far too many to count
With the naked eye
They will see you
Go ahead walk on by
You don't know I'm alive
Maybe one day you'll find
You should open your eyes (your eyes)
You don't know me

You're the one who looked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible
And you're the one who walked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible

Little things adding up
Try so hard not to rush
Giving in, letting go
Of the world we know
They won't see you
Force it down, lose the taste
We don't think it's a waste
We don't need to believe
Every word they say now (say now)
They don't know me

You're the one who looked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible
And you're the one who walked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible

It's so easy
To be lost
But maybe
You're not lost at all
Whoa Whoa
Do you recognize me?
Whoa Whoa
Do you know who I am?
Whoa Whoa
Do you see me now?
Whoa whoa
Do you see me now?

You're the one who looked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was invisible
And you're the one who walked right through me
Now you're saying that you knew me
When I was whoa
Invisible
I'm invisible
I'm invisible
=====================================================
dunno why, sumhow this song juz stuck on my mind the whole day...

my happy dream...

I'd like to keep a record of my dream... coz i dont usually dreaming in my sleep... and this particular dream that i'm about to write is one of the happy ones...

Last nite i slept very2 early... i think it was about 6.30pm... and then i woke up at 4am in the morning... what a long sleep!!! (i woke up in between tho)... i was dreaming about going back to indo... i dreamt that i was in indo already... got off of the plane, then went straight to the mall wif my best friends... having bubble tea... then, went for a dinner wif my family... having a happy convo and chit-chatting about all my school stuffs and friends in melbourne.... having jokes... i remembered that i was so happy!!! that i laugh in my sleep... (coz i was woken up by my own laugh... then i continued my dream... funny isnt it??? coz it felt so real!!!)... then, in my dream, my mum asked me where my return ticket and pasport is... then, suddenly i realised, i dont have my pasport wif me.... then i started to think back, how come i passed all the custom officers in the airport... this cant be rite... then, my brain juz tell me.... "You idiot!! it's juz a dream!!!" and i woke up, still looking for my pasport... and really realised that it was juz a happy dream of mine... :( i wish it's true... dont have to go thru this exams time.... hated it a lot!!! cant believe i have to go thru this time every year!!!

anyway... after that dream, i woke up and do sumfin... try to study, but couldnt be bothered... still so sleepy (after those hours of sleep?!)... then, i went online and chat wif few friends who still awake around that time... then i went to sleep again coz i got a lil bit of headache.... and guess what?! i dreamt again!!! this time, still involving my family, and also some of my melbourne friends... it was a funny dream.... in my dream, the distance btw, melbourne and malaysia was juz 2hours drive by car... hahaha ^0^ (so impossible!!!) in my dream, i was woken up in a strange place... looks like a dorm and felt like my own house.... i felt comfortable there, but i know it's not my house.... then, there was a convo btw mum n my sis, Linda said she wanted to stay in a dorm and study in Malaysia.... (what?!) becoz of that convo, i realised for the 2nd time that i was dreaming... coz this cant be real!!! Linda would never ask to study overseas... these dreams are so wrong!!! but at least they gave me a lil bit of happiness... even tho it's all juz a dream.... LoL ^0^

bantuin org boong...

Hueh... akhirnya... selese juga kerjaan gw hari ini... tapi bukan berarti gw bisa nyantai2 neh... dalam 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... LIMA hari lagi gw bakal exam!!! dan gw belom belajar!!! gila!!! bener2 deh... klo gw bisa lulus mah, ini sebuah miracle...

Anyway, td pagi2 temen gw di perth sms... minta ijin mo pake nama gw...
berhubung pas baru bgn bacanya, gw ga connect gitu... gw bingung, kenapa dy minta ijin pake nama gw?? mangnya nama gw bagus?? huehehe :p ternyata eh ternyata, dy mo pake nama gw biar dy bisa pegi ke darwin... duhh... susah neh... gw ga mo bantuin dy boong, tp klo gw ga bantuin, dy bisa sedih... kan dy jarang bgt jalan2... so akhirnya, gw bales deh sms dy pas dah siangan... gw kasi dia ijin buat pake nama gw buat boong tp untuk yg terakhir kalinya... semoga aja deh dy ga aneh2 di darwin... ntar nama gw bisa jadi tercoreng... huehehe :p

dah ah... laper neh... dari pagi belom makan gara2 ngerjain report gw tersayang... huahahaha ^0^ mo pulang, makan, mandi, bobo, bgn lagi, belajar... =_=

ps: maaaa... cepetan balik... nv mo ngobrol... hiks... T_T

Miss Perfect

Miss Perfect...
itulah aku... huehehe :p
I know I used to be very2 perfectionist... sampe2 stress sendiri, karena no body's perfect, but I still expect everyone, everything, even myself to be perfect...
Then, aku coba berubah... karena smuanya cuma bikin aku stress sendiri...
Tadinya aku kira, aku dah cukup berubah... dah lebih ga perfectionist (emang sih...)
Tapi ternyata, org2 disekelilingku masi aja bisa ngeliat betapa perfectionistnya aku...
hehehe :p

(buka kartu sendiri nih....)

Iya... td tuh, aku nelpon temen lamaku di Indo... dia dah kayak cici buat aku...
aku aja manggil dia ''cici''... aku kenal dy dah dari aku kelas 1 SMP, which is 6 taon yg lalu... kita beda 8 taon, tp ga menghambat persabahatan kita... dia salah satu org yg kenal aku luar dalem... dan mau ngajar serta nge-kritik aku wkt aku salah... beruntung bgt deh bisa punya temen kayak dia... selaen bisa belajar banyak (karena dy lebi berpengalaman), bisa mempersiapkan diri buat dunia org dewasa juga (karena dy juga suka cerita2 ttg pengalaman dy)...

Tadi tuh, ngobrol ngalor ngidul.. trus ga tw ngebahas apa, dia ngomong klo aku tuh sebenernya emang lebih dewasa ketimbang temen2 seumuranku... (huehehehe :p jadi terbang deh...)
Aku tw sih, tp ga nyangka, dari sejak aku SMP dah keliatan kayak gt... mgkn inilah yg bikin aku suka telalu stress tentang hidup... tentang masa depan... temen2ku kayaknya nyantai2 aja, kok aku suka dah mikir kejauhan en pusing sendiri.... trus dia pesen ke aku, ''juz let it flow''... smuanya dalam hidup ini butuh process, ga perlu buru2... enjoy every single step of your life... karena smuanya ga bakal balik lagi... ga usa telalu stress en overwhelm ma smuanya... terima aja dan atasin satu per satu... hmmm... berhubung dah lebih dari satu org yg ngomong ke gw kayak gt... i guess gw musti bener2 dengerin... hehehe :p

Klo gt mulai skrg, saya berjanji, mo belajar buat lebi rileks dalem menghadapi apa yg singgah dalam kehidupanku... (yaaa jangan sampe terlalu lay back juga tapinya!!!)... belajar buat ga panikan lagi... hehehe :p and i will learn to enjoy every single minute of my life... every second of it... coz they are all come from God's grace for me... ^_^

PS: makasi ci buat nasehatnya... ^^
and notes for myself (klo gw sampe fail)... failure is not the end of the world... it's juz the beginning of a lesson... where u learn to stand up after your fall.... then, learn to stand firmer...

older = smarter??

Nick name seorg teman lamaku membuatku berpikir...
"Is it when u get older the u r expected to get smarter??"
What a good question, i think...

Lalu, kupikirkan kalimat itu...
Sebenarnya, ga juga sih.. klo dipikir2, kita ga harus be smarter when we get older...
i guess, we juz need to be wiser... smart kan belom tentu wise...
Tp kalimat di atas ada benernya juga... kita juga ga bisa stay di kepandaian yg itu2 aja as we get older... contohnya aja, wkt tk, mgkn kita dah seneng bisa ngitung sampe 10, masa klo dah umur 20, tetep aja seneng dengan kepandaian se-anak TK?? huehh... ribet ya klo mikirin hal kayak gini... ga penting sih sebenernya... hehehe :p berhubung ga penting, aku sudahi saja deh postingan ini... selamat mikirin kalimat di atas ya... ato baca aja blog lain... hehehe :p

My Intelligence...

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

ego...

EGO..

Everyone has an ego...
Sumtimes, ego drives us to do what we are doing...
Ego doesn't help us to grow..
coz with ego, we can't grow...
We won't listen to others...
and when our ego grows bigger and bigger more than anything...
it's the time when it'll eat u alive!!

So, the question is, do u want to let your ego wins??
or u prefer to control it and learn to be humble...

u/ seorg teman

mgkn hari ini bukanlah hari yg terbaik
tp hari ini bukanlah hari yg buruk
walau masi sulit untuk menarik seulas lengkung di wajah
warnaku tak sekelabu hari yg lalu

walau aku sendiri
ku tau, aku tidaklah seorang diri
selalu ada yg menemani
dalam senang dan sedih

walau ku tlah sakiti banyak hati
lukai banyak perasaan
masi sll ada yg mau peduli
masi sll hadir seorang kawan

kupelajari lagi satu hal hari ini
bila ku memilih tuk melihat dari suatu sisi
sisi yg positif...
sesuatu yg kelihatan buruk, tidaklah selalu buruk
itu smua tergantung dari sudut mana kita berdiri

thx mum

doehhhh... kenapa ya gw jadi kecanduan nge-blog en baca2 blog org???
kayak ga ada kerjaan aja... padahal gw banyak yg musti dikerjain...
reports masi belom ada satupun yg selese... mana bsk ada chem test lagi!!
belom belajar pula!!! lengkap lah sudah hidupku ini....

biarpun kesannya skul gw parah bgt...
gw bersyukur masi punya seorg sahabat yg baek yg mo dengerin gw setiap saat...
yg lebih bijak dari gw... lebih sabar dari gw... dan yg pasti sayang ma gw... ^^
haikz... itulah nyokap gw!!! ^^

td gw nelp nykp, rencananya cuma buat ngomong soal colokan kamera...
soalnya dy nanya2 gt ma gw.... daripada gw jelasin lwt sms, mending gw telp lah...
ehhh... akhirannya gw malah jadi curhat... hehehe :p
dah ga sabar mo balik indo... mum... miss ya!!! huhuhu T_T

a day after another...

phew... berlalu juga hari ini...
btw dah lama ya gw ga cerita ttg hari2 gw... ^^
hmm... hari ini sebenernya ga ada yg special... as usual...
minggu ini bakal berlalu dengan cepet...
dan bulan ini bener2 ga kerasa, tw2 dah ditengah bulan...

hari ini, gw ke uni kayak biasa... bangun pagi... jam 6an...
dan masi ngantuk walo dah tdr dari jam 9an.... huehehe :p
hari ini cuma ada lab selama 3 jam... akhirnya chemistry project gw selese juga...
tinggal bikin reportnya deh... T_T
masi ga nyadar juga klo hari ini hari selasa.... gw beranggapan jumat masi lama...
pdhl tinggal 3 hari lagi dah jumat lagi!!! oh no!! kenapa waktu ini muter cepet bgt??!!!
kemana aja gw selama ini?? ngapain aja gw selama ini??
kok tw2 dah pertengahan october??!! kok tw2 2 minggu lagi gw bakal exam??
kok tw2 in about a month gw bakal dah di indo lagi?? gosh!!! time flies!!!
kata guru gw... time flies when u have fun... tp ternyata time flies too when u r not having fun... hehehe :p

td dinner di dessert house ditemenin VQ... (dah lama ga pernah masak lagi....)
trus naek tram pulang... jalan kaki dikit... nyebrang jalan... sampe rumah deh..
trus ganti baju... panas abies!!! hari ini tuh bener2 weathernya ngejek org...
pagi2 dingin... siang panas bgt... malem dingin lagi....
walo siang2 panas gt, gw pake sepatu plus kaos kaki, karena gw ada practical...
menyedihkan.... rasanya kaki gw lagi di sauna... huehehe :p
untung skrg dah cooled down...

udah deh ceritanya... gw musti ngebut ngerjain tugas2 gw yg sudah menanti dan manggil2 gw... hehehe :p tha tha smuanya!!!

show me Your ways - hillsong

Show me Your ways
That I may walk with You
Show me Your ways
I put my hope in You

The cry of my heart
Is to love You more
To live with the
Touch of Your hand
Stronger each day
Show me Your ways

???

one drop after another...
it hurts inside that i want to explode...
couldn't explain what this is...
maybe it is sadness... emptiness...
in the darkness... in my loneliness...
try to search for the answer...
answer for no questions...

meaning of life...

i believe, i'm not the only person who ask this question...
"What is the meaning of life"... what does your life mean to you?? or to others??
does it have a meaning??

i've thought about it before... when i was in junior high, i didn't find the answer...
now... i'm stumbled on this question again... what is it with life??? why does it seem complicated yet simple... it's unpredictable... it's meaningful yet meaningless.. it's all depends on how you live your life i guess...

i did a search on blogs which talking about meaning of life....
it doesn't amaze me that i'm not the only one who think about this and ask the same questions...
i guess, it's all becoz we are all juz too bz wif ourlives sumtimes... and forgot the point, the purpose of our lives... all we've done in our lives juz become a routinity... life become meaningless... there is one blog that i read, talked about the balance in life between procreation, love, and work... she said that we need to be able to fulfill all of those aspects of ourlives to be able to feel happy... but the next question is... does happiness makes your life meaningful?? aha!! another tricky question... :p

i know i have an answer to my question... but i don't think everyone will be agree wif me...
i believe the meaning of life is to life your life to the fullest with sumthing to focus on and we strive to reach that goal... to have a meaningful life means to have a contented life.... and (for me) the only situation that can make me content and find the meaning of my life is in God... He's the purpose, He's the goal and He's the reason and the meaning of my life... and YOUR life!!

waiting...

waiting room
by shane barnard

i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

i will fight when i cannot feel
i will trust when You dont seem real
i will tell when i cannot speak
i will step when i cannot see

When trouble comes....

Wkt masalah datang dan menghampiri hidup kita...
Kemana kita kan pergi??
Kepada siapa kita akan bersandar??
Apa yg akan kita lakukan??
Apa kita mampu atasi masalah itu??
Atau malah lari dan bersembunyi,
dan berharap masalah itu pergi dengan sendirinya??

Sekali2 pikirkan lah itu...
Karena apa yg kita lakukan saat masalah datang,
akan menentukan keberhasilan ato kegagalan kita...
Aku memilih untuk menghadapinya, belajar, dan memperoleh keberhasilan...
walau jalan itu tidak mudah... tp aku tw aku bisa, karena Dia besertaku... ^^

ga pernah tw...

Hidup ini lucu kadang2...
Gw ga pernah tw berapa org yg baca tulisan gw di blog ini, ato blog gw yg laen...
Kadang apa yg gw lakuin cuma nyurahin apa yg gw pikirin...
apa yg gw rasain...
Tp ga pernah nyangka klo bisa punya efek ke org laen...
Tentu itu salah satu harapan gw wkt nulis blog...
Gw selalu berharap bisa bantu org laen...
tp sifat pesimis gw selalu bikin gw berpikir itu hanya mimpi yg semu...
Pdhl sudah terbukti beberapa kali, klo hal itu bisa jadi nyata...
dan sudah menjadi nyata...
Ternyata emang tiap dari kita punya efek, yg bisa mempengaruhi org di sekitar kita...
dan itu ga mustahil...
Kita bisa jadikan sekeliling kita menjadi lebih baik, simply dengan memberi contoh yg baik...
Mulai dari diri kita dulu... ubah sgala sesuatu yg jelek dari kita...
dan kita bisa mengubah dunia... make it better.... a better place... ^_^

Life between the DASH

LIFE BETWEEN THE 'DASH'

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the 'dash' between those years. (1934 -1998)

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars...the house...the cash,
what matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our 'dash'.

So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special 'dash'
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your 'dash'?

(Author Unknown)
---------------------------------------------------
Suatu hari, wkt gw lagi di uni, this story caught my eyes...
Gw baca en bikin gw merenung... sependek itu kah hidup ini... cuma se-dash??
Dan sekali lagi gw bertanya ma diri gw... dah berisi apakah 'dash' gw itu??
Am i happy with what i've done?? is there anything that i could improve in my 'dash'??

temen ato pacar??

td baru aja nelp temen gw yg di indo... dah lama bgt ga nelp dy...
gw paling seneng ngobrol ma dy, walo dah lama ga contact, pasti begitu ngomong, dah kayak baru ketemu kemaren aja... ^_^ (jadi kangen... pengen cepet2 balik indo...)

buat gw temen itu penting en berharga bgt... gw ga kebayang klo gw musti keilangan temen... apalagi seorang sahabat... td, kita bedua ngomongin soal 2 org sahabat yg lagi berantem... gw sedih juga sih denger mereka berantem... apalagi berantemnya gara2 seorang cowok... menurut gw, tuh cowok ga worth it... ga seberharga persahabatan yg dah mereka punya selama 7 taon... kadang gw berpikir.... segitu rapuhnya kah manusia?? cuma gara2 suatu hal yg bisa dibilang sepele, bisa berubah 180 derajat... (moga2 hal ky gini ga bakal pernah terjadi ke gw)

klo suatu hari gw harus milih antara temen ato co... gw rasa, gw ga bakal ragu2 gw milih temen... itu jawaban gw wkt dulu... tp klo skrg, gw ga bisa bilang 100% gw pasti jawab gt... karena hidup ini punya banyak possibilities... tp gimana pun, gw bakal lebih utamain temen dan sahabat sih daripada co.... hehehe :p sahabat itu susah dicari... klo dibikin perumpamaan, menemukan sahabat tuh, kayak nemuin sebutir mutiara di dlm timbunan pasir... (karang gw ndiri.. :p) makanya klo mo enaknya, cari co yg jadi bisa jadi sahabat.... hehehe :p (duuuhh gw nulis apa ini?! dah mulai ngaco... kayaknya dah ngantuk deh....)

iya nih.. inti tulisan gw sih gitu.... klo lu.. iya, elo yg lagi baca blog ini... lagi menghadapi pilihan antara ngorbanin sahabat ato pacar... gw saranin, lu pikir lagi deh bener2 klo lu sedang mempertimbangkan buat sacrifice persahabatan lu.... is he or she worth enuf to sacrifice your friendships??

diantara dua (ato lebih) pilihan...

Pernah ga sih ngalamin di dlm hidup ini, kita dihadapin kepada 2 pilihan ato lebih, dimana kita musti milih.... kadang i wish gw bisa berada di dua tempat sekaligus... kita kadang ga bisa decide mana yg harus kita pilih, mana yg lbh penting, mana yg lebih seru, mana yg harus diutamain, etc...

Misalnya apa yg baru gw alamin kemaren... bukan sesuatu yg penting sih... tp i wish gw bisa ngelakuin dua2nya at the same time, walo gw tw ini gw mgkn...
Kemaren temen gw ada yg ngajakin nginep di rumahnya... dy lagi ndirian di rumah.. trus gw pikir, bole juga... gw blm pernah nginep di tmpnya.... kan mayan nyobain suburb... lagian stiap dy ngajakin ngapain, pasti gw batal mulu buat pegi ma dy... jadi gw pikir skrg bisa gw pake buat nutupin "utang2" gw gitu... bisa skalian ntn2 en ngobrol2 juga...

ehhh, dasar gwnya pikun.. gw lupa klo beberapa hari sebelomnya, gw dah janjian ma temen, mo kasi surprise ke temen gw yg ultah hari ini... rencananya tuh kasi surprise pas midnite... which means... gw ga bisa nginep di tmp temen gw yg ngajak nginep itu!!! >_< duhhh gw feel bad abis... kan dy ndirian.. gw pengen nemenin... tp gw juga dah ngomong oke ke "surprise bday party"... jadi ga bisa donk gw batalin gt aja... akhirnya ya gw stay with my 1st plan, yaitu ke bday temen gw...

Klo di situasi gw di atas, mgkn ga telalu susah buat ngambil keputusan... gw ga telalu nyesel sih ma keputusan yg dah gw ambil... gw ini kan ceritanya tukang ngeramein surprise partynya... klo gw ga jadi dtg, mgkn bakal rada sepi... en gw bakal kecewa, coz i wasnt there to celebrate the happiness wif her.... tp gw jadi feel bad karena gw tw temen gw yg ngajak nginep itu lagi ndirian di rumahnya... gw sih cuma berharap dy pulang n lgs tdr... jd ga kerasa kesepiannya... hehehe :p

Mgkn kadang i push myself too hard... pengen nyenengin smua org... tp gw dah diajarin berkali2 ma hidup ini, gw ga bisa nyenengin smua org... kadang kita musti sacrifice sumthing, and take it easy... ga perlu telalu kecewa wkt kita gagal buat nyenengin smua... karena yg important tuh bukan quantity, tp quality... walo kita cuma bisa nyenengin satu org, tp klo saat itu adl saat dimana org itu paling butuhin kita, dan kita dedicate wkt kita, focus ke dy doank... i guess itu bakal jadi sesuatu yg sangat berharga, lebih dari apapun.... lebih dihargain dari apapun juga... yg penting niatnya... ^^

May u be blessed

May you be blessed
with all things good.
May your joys, like the stars at night,
be too numerous to count.
May your victories be more abundant
than all the grains of sand
on all the beaches
on all the oceans
in all the world.
May lack and struggle be always
absent from your life
and may beauty order and abundance
be your constant companions.
May every pathway you choose
lead to that which is pure and good and lovely.
May every doubt and fear
be replaced by a deep abiding trust
as you behold evidence of a Higher Power
all around you.
And when there is only darkness
and the storms of life are closing in
May the light at the core of your being
illuminate the world.
May you always be aware you are loved beyond measure
and may you be willing to love unconditionally in return.
May you always feel protected and cradled
in the arms of God,
like the cherished child you are.
And when you are tempted to judge
may you be reminded that we are all ONE
and that every thought you think
reverberates across the universe,
touching everyone and everything.
And when you are tempted to hold back,
may you remember that love flows best when
it flows freely
and it is in giving that we receive
the greatest gift.
May you always have music and laughter
and may a rainbow follow every storm
May gladness wash away every disappointment
may joy dissolve every sorrow
and my love ease every pain.
May every wound bring wisdom
and every trial bring triumph
and with each passing day
may you live more abundantly than the day before.
May you be blessed
And may others be blessed by you.
This is my heartfelt wish for you.
May you be blessed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't write it myself ofcourse... I got all those beautiful words from this website...

Have a look at the Movie... and listen to the music... it's so inpiring and beautiful!!! ^_^ (thank's Kate!)

life is short

ga tw napa, somehow gw ngerasa dari kemaren gw selalu diingetin ttg satu hal...
gw diingetin kali hidup itu ga panjang... life is short...
kita kadang lupa, klo kita ga bakal hidup selamanya di dunia ini...
klo saatnya kita dah dateng, satu per satu dari kita bakal ninggalin dunia ini...
tp kita ga ada yg tw kapan saatnya itu... that's why kita mesti sll siap n berjaga2... musti sll ready...

kemaren, wkt lagi jalan pulang dari rumah temen gw, abis nganterin kue...
gw kan nyebrang jalan... trus... sumhow, wkt itu was2 bgt.... (mgkn gara2 gw pernah hampir ketabrak mobil wkt nyebrang jalan...) trus wkt nyebrang sih ga ada apa2.. mobilnya jauh kok.... cuma gw dapet kayak bayangan gitu, klo gw ketabrak.. (hiy!! amit2..) di bayangan gw itu, in a split of second, mobilnya dtg dengan kenceng ke arah gw, gw lagi jalan, trus tepat sebelom mobilnya hit gw, gw cuma bisa merem n bediri diem.... trusnya.. gw tw apa yg terjadi... serem deh... hiy!!! ngebayanginnya aja bikin gw merinding.... trus, gw jadi mikir... klo misalnya gw meninggal malam itu juga... apa yg bakal terjadi?? (gw bukannya mikir negatif loh ya.. tp cuma berandai2)... gw nanya ke diri gw ndiri... apa gw siap?? what have i done so far in my life?? have i touched ppl's lives?? have i make a lil bit of difference to make this world a better place?? pokoknya smua pertanyaan itu dateng ke gw...

gw bener2 ga kebayang klo sampe kemaren malem adalah malem terakhir gw di dunia... gw pasti bakal nyesel abis... karena gw masi belom ngapa2in... masi banyak yg mo gw lakuin.. tp ga pernah bener2 gw lakuin, karena gw selalu beranggapan, gw masi punya "besok"... gw pernah baca quotes yg intinya tuh bilang klo seorang pemalas suka menggunakan kata "besok" sebagai alasan... well, gw diingetin lagi buat ga males2an en ga nunda2... emang, gw masi jauh dari baik apalagi sempurna... tp gw mo jadi lebih baik en lebih baik lagi...

sampe rumah, gw ntn tv, ada wawancara Terry Irwin... pesen yg dia sampein strucked me.... dy bilang, "Life's short, that's why make the most of it... spend time together with the one u love..." pokoknya intinya pake lah wkt lu se-effective mgkn... pake sebaik2nya... bukan cuma buat lu ndiri, tp lebih penting buat melayani org lain... dy bilang klo dy bangga ma Steve, karena dy dah reach banyak jiwa... dan perjuangannya ga berenti di situ, dia dan anak2nya bakal lanjutin karya-nya Steve...

so, klo hari ini hari ini adl hari terakhir kita, siapkah kita buat ninggalin dunia ini?? r u happy with what u have done and what u left behind?? klo jawabannya "yes"... bagus... klo jawabannya "err, not really", i guess kita masi punya wkt buat mperbaiki...

ada kutipan dari blog temen gw, yg kata2nya gw suka...

"Running your life is not about being correct to the dot or pleasing somebody else. It's about being able to look back on it and cherishing yourself for making decisions you don't regret."

boy meets girl

Beberapa hari belakangan ini... gw lagi asik baca sebuah buku yg judulnya "Boy meets Girl"... mgkn ada yg dah pernah baca, ato pernah denger, mgkn juga ada yg ga pernah denger sama skali... ini buku, ditulis oleh penulis yg sama dengan buku yg berjudul "I kissed dating goodbye".... namanya Joshua Harris...

Dari judul2 bukunya, kebayang ga isi buku yg disampein??
Klo di "I kissed dating goodbye", Joshua nulis ttg betapa pentingnya kita buat ga anggep enteng sebuah relationship... in this case, dating... karena latar belakang dy amerika, aneh donk klo dy nulis gt.... intinya dy bilang untuk ga pacaran, ato deket ma lawan jenis lebih dari temen sebelom siap untuk punya hubungan yg serius, which is yg dah ready for marriage... dy juga nulis, klo masa single kita itu bisa dimanfaatkan untuk melakukan hal2 yg memuliakan Tuhan... misalnya dengan melayani sesama dan Tuhan yg kadang ga bisa kita lakuin klo kita punya pacar... jd being jomblo is not something bad, it's a blessing!!!

Nah, yg mo gw bahas nih, bukunya yg kedua... disini dy nulis ttg gimana cara punya relationships yg memuliakan nama Tuhan... jadiin Tuhan sbg pusatnya... buku ini bagus buat org yg dah mo consider courtship, alias pacaran yg serius... di sini, dy bahas, klo courtship tuh = more than friends, but less than lovers... dah mikir ke arah marriage, tp masi belom bisa pastiin apa org tersebut yg mo kita jadiin sbg pasangan hidup... makanya... dengan alasan "belom yakin" itu.... dy ngebahas gimana cara membina relationship yg klo jeleknya, harus berakhir, ga bakal menyakitkan, karena selama courtship, they "guard" each other... guard di sini ga cuma physically, tp juga emotionally... dy bilang, walopun judulnya dah pacaran, dan dah serius, kita ga boleh ngasi2 harapan ato berharap terlalu banyak ttg masa depan... kita ga bisa assume org yg jadi pacar kita skrg, pasti jadi pasangan hidup kita... kebayang ga sih, klo misalnya kita dah ngelewatin batas as lovers dalam courtship, dan ternyata harus putus, karena itu bukan kehendak Tuhan buat menikah dengan org tsb, betapa sakitnya hati kita... makanya... penting tuh buat menjaga diri dan hati dengan wisdom bukan cuma dengan emosi....

Trus... dy juga ada nulis satu hal... yg bikin gw nyadar... mgkn selama ini gw salah... biasanya klo cewek2 dah deperado buat cari cowok, mereka bakal ngeliat cowok tuh sebagain org yg berpotensi utk dijadiin pacar.... i guess, gitu juga dengan cowok... tp klo kita dah serahin diri kita ke Tuhan, dan biarin dy yg bikin plan ttg pasangan hidup kita, mustinya kita ga usa kuatir... kita cuma perlu focus dan deketin diri ke Dia, learn to know Him more... dan biar kita bisa focus, kita mustinya memperlakukan lawan jenis kita bukan sebagai "potential bf or gf"... tp sebagai brother and sister in Christ.... gw diingetin lagi buat memperlakukan lawan jenis gw as brothers... klo yg namanya brothers, ya ga ada yg namanya romantis2an donk... makanya... klo di indo, kita punya istilah TTM ato koko-dd... itu cuma jalan pintas yg dimanfaatkan manusia yg ga sabar buat nunggu wktnya tiba tp belom siap buat further commitment... dan yg dihasilkan cuma hati yg terluka...

Jadi mulai skrg, gw mo belajar buat treat all of the men in my life as brothers in Christ... (pasti ga gampang sih, but i know i can) so that we can be purely friends... and glorify God with our friendships... ^_^
Buat temen2 yg pengen ngelakuin hal yg sama ma gw, entah lu ce ato co... mari berjuang bersama... hehehe ^_^

17taon keatas

Kali ini, gw bakal nulis ttg 17taon keatas...
Pernah ga mikir, "Kenapa ya, film2 di Indo, yg dikategorikan film 'org dewasa', selalu punya batesan en ditulis 'buat 17taon keatas'???"
Well... wkt kecil, gw sering banget sebel n terasa keintimidasi...
kesel karena setiap org di keluarga gw bisa ntn, sedangkan gw ga bisa, karena belom cukup umur... trus, gw jadi penasaran, apa sih bedanya film yg dikategoriin 'untuk dewasa' dan 'bukan untuk dewasa'?? soalnya, pas dah 17taon keatas... rasanya biasa aja tuh film2nya.. nothing special...

Baru beberapa hari belakangan ini, gw nyadar...
sebenernya, alesan beberapa film (bioskop), dikasi label2 tertentu tuh biar cocok ma penontonnya... misalnya, film drama en action yg biasanya suka dikategoriin 'dewasa'... klo ditonton ma anak SD, mana bisa nyambung?! mana bisa dingertiin sepenuhnya?? gitu juga dengan anak SMP... gw tw, kebanyakan anak SMP, ngerasa dah dewasa enuf, tp pas gw pikir2 lagi, sebenernya gw ngerasa masi semi-mature wkt jaman SMP.... so, itu juga salah satu alesan napa kemgknan mental dan emotional anak dibawah 17taon masi blm pas ma film '17taon keatas'...

Klo dulu, gw berpikiran sempit... kirain cuma gara2 masi 'kecil', jadi ga boleh ntn, biar ga liat adegan2 yg "gitu deh..." hehehe... :p tp ternyata ga gt...
Gw nyadar sih bedanya, wkt ntn suatu film yg gw tonton wkt masi kecil, trus pas gw tonton lagi pas skrg, gw ngerasa lebi ngerti en bisa nangkep maknanya... dimana klo wkt kecil, gw bisa jg ntn, gw ngerti jalan ceritanya, tp gw ga dapet kesan apa2 dari itu film... gitchuuuu... ^_^

So, inti postingan gw... buat yg buru2 melakukan sesuatu yg belum wktnya... mending sabar dulu lah... tunggu wktnya tiba... karena saat buah itu matang dr pohonnya, rasanya bakal paling enak dibanding dipetik sebelom matang...

PS: reminder for myself... inget tuh noph!! (hehehe :p)

holding hands...

hmmm.... tdnya gw mo nulis blog ini pake inggris.... tp gara2 skrg subuh en otak gw capek, nulis pake indo aja deh.... hehehe :p

Ok... topik gw kali ini adalah ttg "tangan"...
tepatnya "holding hands" alias "bergandengan tangan" <-- bahasa kerennya... ^_^

Penasaran?? napa gw tiba2 mo nulis ttg topik ini??
well, sebenernya ga tiba2 sih.... dah beberapa lama gw pengen nulis, en sebenernya dah gw tulis juga, tp di diary gw.... hehehe :p
ilhamnya tuh, dtg dari org2 disekitar gw....
Klo wkt gw pulang malem2 dari train stn, kira2 jalan 10 menitan ke rumah gw...
nah, klo gw lewatin Southgate ato "jembatan kuning" pasti banyak deh couple yg lagi jalan... trus sum of them holding hands... ^_^ naahhh dari situ lah gw dapet ilham gw...

Gw wkt itu kepikiran aja.... "hmmm... those ppl are in love... and they're holding hands... so, what holding hands really represents??"
Menurut gw... biarpun keliatannya simple, holding hands itu showing an intimacy...
Some ppl might say, "alaaa, cuma gadengan doank, no big deal..."
Tp... apa yg gw liat dr holding hands tuh alot!

Pertama, i see holding hands sebagai tanda TRUST....
Klo lu ga trust org yg lu gandeng ato ngegandeng lu, emang lu mau digandeng???
Ntar mo diajak kemana kan lu ga bakal tw.... hehehe :p

Kedua, holding hands itu juga ngasi rasa SECURE...
Misalnya, wkt kecil, klo mo nyebrang jalan, pasti digandeng ma ortu....
ato pas dah gede juga, klo mo nyebrang, temen2 gw pasti gandengan tangan...
karena ga tw napa, sumhow kita ngerasa lebih secure aja klo nyebrang sambil gandengan... mgkn biar klo ketabrak, ada temennya... hahaha... ^0^

Ketiga, holding hands secara ga langsung tuh bisa gantiin kata2, such as... "don't worry, i will never leave u...." ato "trust me, juz follow me..." ato " i will be with u.... u can lean on me..."....
Dan ada yg bilang, klo body language can speak more than a thousand words... kadang wkt kita ga tw mo ngomong apa... ga ada kata2 yg bisa dikeluarin... mgkn itulah saatnya... to hold the hand that need our support is the best answer...
Well, itu menurut gw anyway, mgkn banyak yg ga setuju ma gw... biarin!!! wekz :p

Trus, menurut gw, klo kita hold sumone's hand... kita juga bisa ngasi kekuatan.... kayak support gt...
jadi holding hands juga bisa berarti SUPPORT EACH OTHER...
(Btw, jangan pikirin gandengan di konteks org pacaran aja ya.... pikirinnya musti secara general...)

Klo smuanya ini gw sangkutin ama hal yg religius... ada tangan seseorang yg ga pernah lepasin tangan gw n selalu gandeng gw... yep! ga laen n ga bukan, gw ngomong ttg "tangan Tuhan"... He holds my hand wherever i go... His hand is there to strengthen me... He leads me all the way... and He will never let me go by myself or leave me alone....

stress strucks me again...

gw dah ga tw musti mulai nih posting dengan teriakan macam apa...
karena kayaknya smua macem teriakan dah pernah gw teriakin disini.. :p
sekali lagi... stress strucks me...
gw ga bisa mikir... otak gw kosong... inikah akibat dari kebanyakan minum kopi en kurang tdr?? rasanya gw dah ga sabar nunggu saatnya dimana gw bisa tidur dengan tenang dan damai...
gw rasa org2 disekitar gw juga dah sebel bgt denger gw ngeluh mulu..
ato ngeliat muka gw yg sepet en selalu dilipet...
seminggu penuh ini, gw kayaknya ngeluh mulu.... adaaaa ajaaaa...
skrg aja lagi ngeluh... duhhh... berenti nov!! that's enuf...
gw dah bilang ke diri gw buat berenti.. tp, tetep aja...
see?! masi berlanjut nih ngeluhnya... hiks... >_<
God... help me... only in your hands i'll feel secure and peaceful...

Go with it

Life can be great when you simply go with it. Instead of excessive worrying or endless analyzing, just make your choice and then move forward with it.
Your first instinct is often your best one, because it comes from your authentic self. When you start taking a lot of other conflicting opinions and perspectives into account, your options quickly shrink.

Certainly it pays to think things through, and to consider the advice of others. Just don't let it all dilute the passion that can energize your life.

Trying to make the perfect decision can often lead to no decision at all. Trying to avoid every mistake can be the biggest mistake, because you also avoid getting anything done.

Though you can plan for the future, you cannot precisely predict it. So go ahead with the best you have, and you'll be completely able to deal with whatever may happen.

Even though it has no guarantees, this day is an incredible opportunity. So step confidently, enthusiastically forward with a smile on your face and go with it.

-- Ralph Marston

about today...

about today...

if i say, nothing much has happened...
i tell u a lie...
today, a lot of things have happened in my life...
it's all happened yesterday as well..
i was juz too bz to realise it...

today...
the sun rose from the east and
set in the west.... it was beautiful...
today...
as i walked to uni this morning...
i heard the birds sing "Good morning, Novy" song... ^_^
today...
as i walked out from the apartment...
the morning breeze greeted me... to say "Hello!"

Believe it or not...
all those things happen everyday...
it's juz the matter of whether i was to bz with myself or not...
coz i realise... when i give a lil bit of my time
juz to stop and listen and to feel my surroundings...
and to say hello to them...
and to thank God for all of those wonderful things...
and to decide that I'm going to live my life today with a positive attitude...
all those "miracles" will come to me...
everyday...
juz like today.....

rintik hujan...

kemaren... sktr jam 8.45pm... kayaknya itu pertama kalinya gw merasakan keganasan hujan di Melbourne... kekeke... ^0^
Biasanya klo ujan kayak gitu, gw males keluar rumah, jadinya kan ga berasa....
Tapi, kemaren ini laen... gw pulang dari greja, trus begitu nyampe Flinders udah mulai gerimis... gw pikir, ya udah lah, biarpun windy, cuma gerimis ini, gw terjang sang angin dengan payung lipatnya Melanie yg ga seberapa kuat... ehhh ga disangka, ujannya jadi deras tiba2... suddenly, jalanan kosong... bener2 gw doank yg lagi jalan, berusaha menerjang badai (hiperbol :p) en mencoba buat stay dry... tp, dasar angin kurang ajar, bertiupnya malah ke arah gw... alhasil, celana gw, sepatu n kaos kaki basah smua... tdnya gw pikir, mo ujan2an aja skalian... kan dah lama tuh ga maen air... hehehe (kayak anak kampoeng... emang sih :p) tp takut sakit lagi, jadinya ga jd deh.... hehehe ^^

Lucunya... biasanya gw benci bgt sama yg namanya hujan... apalagi yg pake angin gt... dah kayak badai... tp... anehnya kali ini gw memandang hujan bukan sebagai sesuatu yg nyebelin... gw malah kagum loh... gw malah merasa hujan semalem indah bgt... hehehe... napa ya?? mgkn lagi mellow aja... kebanyakan makan marshmallow... hehehe :p

alam nan indah

Alam nan indah t'lah Kau ciptakan
bagi seluruh manusia
Surya bersinar t'lah Kau pancarkan
terang benderang atas bumi
Air yang segar, sejukkan hati
yang sedang rindu
rindu kasih...
KasihMu Tuhan kudambakan
Kudambakan selalu
dan selalu

Mari kita puji2kan nama Tuhan
dan kasihNya yg tiada tara
Mari kita puji2kan nama Tuhan
yang telah melimpahkan kasihNya
pada dunia...
--------------------------------------------------
Story behind the song:
btw, yg gw tulis di atas adalah text lagu yg dulu sering dinyanyiin di choir wkt gw di Perth.. kemungkinan lagu aslinya beda... karena wkt itu gw nyanyi-nya bagian alto, jadi yg gw inget cuma lyric-nya alto... hehehe :p

Iya nih... wkt gw bangun tidur pagi ini... gw buka mata, hal pertama yg gw liat adalah sinar... dan jendela gw yg ketutupan kabut... trus gw liat keluar... biarpun foggy, smuanya keliatan bagus bgt... trus... suddenly, the song juz came into my mind and stuck there... hehehe ^^

You're never alone...

You're Never Alone
(by Rick Price)

I've got a picture hanging on the wall
It's hard to believe you were ever that small
Now you've got bigger ideas, greater ambitions
Higher to reach but further to fall

It used to be you needed me
But, now you've grown so tall and strong
Now you're on your own

Chorus:
But when the walls of your world come tumbling down
When your heart starts breaking
And there's no one around
Just look over your shoulder
Wherever you roam
Remember, you're never alone

You can love without limit
From deep in your soul
If you keep a young heart, son
You will never grow old
You can fly to the moon
As high as it seems
But you can crash to the ground
On the wings of your dreams

But you will see there will be
Times when you feel ten feet tall
Times you have it all

(Chorus)

I can't stop you from living
I can't blame you for trying
I can't stop you from loving
Can't keep you from crying

(Chorus)

-----------------------------------------------
(Hosea 11:3 --> "I taught you to walk and took you by your arms")

learning to walk...

Father, let me walk beside You,
Let me feel my hand in Yours;
Let me know the joy of walking
In Your strength and not in mine.

- Sidebotham-

(wkt gw baca ini quote, soundtract-nya pas bgt deh...
Judulnya, You're never alone... lagunya Rick Price) ^_^

u r what u think u r...

Ga tw napa... hari ini kok gw beberapa kali ngerasa dikasi pesen yg sama secara ga langsung oleh beberapa sumber... isi pesennya adl... "You ARE what you THINK you are"...
Ga tw napa... (lagi..)
Kok gw berasa diingetin ya?? well, emang sih, belakangan kan gw negative thinking mulu...
kayak patah semangat gt... mgkn karena gw berasa jadi org yg gagal, gw jadi org yg gagal klo gw terus mikir kayak gt... jadi... sebelom terlambat, gw diingetin deh... :p

Btw, gw mustinya ngerjain assignment gw...
tp gw pengen bgt nulis...
ga tw napa... (lagi")...
Kadang gw berpikir.. knapa ya gw suka bgt nulis...
napa ya gw rajin bgt nangkring di blog??
padahal yg baca juga belom tentu ada...
trus klo emang ada yg baca... apa tujuan gw nulis??
klo gw bilang karena gw mo nge-share apa yg gw alamin...
mangnya apa yg gw alamin itu bisa ngebangun org laen??
itu kalo iya... klo nggak?? malah bisa jadi racun buat org laen...
misalnya... postingan gw belakangan ini... isinya cuma keluhan doank...
mustinya ga gw publish sih.... tp klo ga dipublish kok rasanya ga enak..
masi tetep ganjel ya?? padahal ga ada bedanya sih... hehehe :p
(well, maybe ada dikit) :p

Oiya, mo cerita ttg marshmallow buatan kelompok confec gw...
td dipuji ma lecturer gw loh... hehehe :p
katanya bagus... salah satu "the TOP"... huehehe :p
seneng sih... tp gw ga nyangka...
karena menurut gw productnya masi jauh dari yg di pasaran...
i guess that means i set my standard to high...
terlalu perfectionist... (kembali ke novy yg lama) :p
yaaa well, yg penting skrg gw terima deh pujian2 yg dah diberikan....
karena tdnya gw masi ga puas aja sih...
skrg gw belajar satu hal lagi... hehehe :p
product dah bagus... skrg tinggal berjuang nulis laporannya deh... T_T

tq mum...

*sigh*... =_=
(sekali lagi maap... belakangan banyak yg bisa dikeluhin... jadi mulai2 selalu hela napas dulu :p)

td gw nelp nykp...
gw cerita ttg mslh yg ada dipikiran gw yg bikin hidup gw ga tenang...
en.. seperti biasa, nykp gw selalu bisa bikin gw tenang...
gw beruntung bgt bisa pny nykp kayak beliau...
dy ga perlu ngomong panjang lebar... cuma satu kalimat aja...
en smua kekhawatiran gw sirna... (cieehh!! puitis neh! hehehe :p)
well, ga ilang smuanya sih... cuma at least bikin gw rada tenang...

hari ini, rasanya smuanya mulai go back in place...
folder gw ketemu, ternyata emang ketinggalan di lab...
trus td ngebahas report ma temen gw... bikin gw ngerasa bisa...
rasanya ga mustahil... en gw tw, pasti ada yg mo bantu gw wkt gw butuh bantuan...
makasih smuanya... ^_^

jadi inget kata2nya ibu (kita) Kartini...
well, bukan kata2nya sih, tp judul bukunya...
"Habis gelap, terbitlah terang"
smoga gelap di hidup gw bisa cepet berganti dg terang...
i need peace...

ada apa dg gw??!

Huaaaa!!!!!
(sori nih klo belakangan gw banyak ngeluh...)

I felt like i hvnt been living my life fully lately...
it started from last weekend...
until now...
i lost the peace once i felt...
(i know it's always there, i juz can't find it, can't feel it)

kemaren pas belanja, gw ketinggalan belanjaan...
hari ini, abis kelas, ketinggalan folder n tempat pensil gw...
eeehhh ga twnya, abis prac, folder gw yg laen ketinggalan juga!!!
Parah bgt!!!
Klo gara2 gw pikun sih, gw terima2 aja...
tp ini gw tw bukan gara2 gw pikun... tp gara2 pikiran gw ga ada di mana badan gw berada...
ga tw napa... (Lord.. help me to go thru this...)
gila deh... gw dah ga kayak gw...
klo ketiduran, berasa bersalah...
(karena gw blm ngerjain tugas)
tp klo ga tdr, gw capek...
yg ada di otak gw cuma mo pulang, balik ke indo...
pikiran2 yg negative smuanya keluar klo gw dah lagi di situasi kayak gini...
i guess i need a break...
tp salah gw, gw dah had a lot of break... pas temen2 gw lagi sibuk2 dg tugas, gw malah nyante2...
skrg, stress ndiri.... mana pake ada masalah laen lagi...
itu lah yg nyita pikiran gw...
klo emosi gw dah keluar... jangan maen2 ma gw...
gw bisa sebelin seumur2...

duhhh... pengen bgt ke pantai...
apa gw pegi aja ya malem ini??
ngerjain assignment di pantai... enak kali ya??
hehehe :p

gw rasanya ga mo pulang...
klo pulang, gw stres... gw rasanya balik lagi ke reality...
klo balik ke rumah, musti kerjain assignments...
musti mikirin gimana lari dari smua masalah gw...
trus akhirnya gw cuma bengong kayak sapi ompong...

hiks...
abis ngeluh gini, tambah ngerasa bersalah karena dah ngeluh...
napa sih manusia punya rasa bersalah??
hhhfffff... capek... =_=

Steve Irwin

oiya... td lupa nulis ini deh, saking sebelnya...
td kan gw ntn berita sambil dinner...
ada berita duka bagi Australia....

org yg dibanggakan jadi "Crocodile Hunter", Steve Irwin, meninggal hari ini...
dy baru aja umur 44 taon...
anak2nya masi kecil...
en dy org yg passionate bgt ttg apa yg dy suka, which is WILD LIFE...
dan... dy meninggal di tengah2 laut... ironisnya, dy bisa naklukin buaya, ular phyton, paus... tp, dy meninggal gara2 di "sting" ma ikan pari.... kabarnya, dy kena "sting" di dadanya...
kemungkinan kena jantung en meninggal seketika...
(makanya jangan maen2 ma ikan pari... keliatan jinak, tp racunnya mematikan loh!)

gw langsung keinget dengan peribahasa indo...
"Sepandai-pandai tupai meloncat, pasti akan jatuh juga"
well, dy emang suka maen ma binatang2 yg berbahaya gitu...
klo ga ati2, saat dy lagi lengah, ya bisa aja berakhir kayak gini...
Banyak yg shock...
dy berkesan unbreakable...
ga bakal ada yg bisa ngalahin dy...
tp... apa yg terjadi?? satu "sting", dan dy ga bisa apa2...

sedih emang...
walo gw ga kenal dy...
gw bisa liat klo dy itu pribadi yg apa adanya...
org yg bener2 passionate about what he loves...
dan dy seorang suami n ayah yg loving...
sedih emang...
pertanyaan yg gw tanyain wkt denger berita itu adl..
"dy dah kenal Tuhan belum ya??"
sedih bgt deh klo belom...
org yg baek kayak gitu, sayang bgt klo ga kenal Tuhan...
semoga aja dy diterima Tuhan...
semoga aja dy dah terima Tuhan...
RIP ya Steve...

sebel... =_=

hari ini....
capek bgt... capek fisik... capek pikiran...
(sori nih, isi blognya bakalan keluhan smua)

hari ini...
gw bener2 ga prepared....
ke uni telat (gw kira telat)
ternyata hari ini gw ga ada prac...
dah lari2 kayak org kebakaran ekor...
cepet pake coverall, pake boots, pake hair net...
twnya ga ada prac!!!
salah gw sih ga ngecek jadwal...
ternyata kelas gw jam 10.30 (klo ada prac jam 9.00)
alhasil, gw punya wkt 1 1/2 jam buat do sumfin else...
satu hal yg bikin gw seneng, artinya gw ga telat hari ini..
hehehe :p

anyway....
kelas wasn't too bad...
i drank coffee juz before my 3hrs lecture....
and i was paying attention for the 1st time... (biasanya ketiduran)
hehehe :p
trus... pulang, gw belanja dulu....
tdnya cuma gara2 toilet tissue di rumah dah abis,
en klo gw ga beli, ga bakal ada yg beli...
gw pikir sekalian lah...
so... dari situ, akhirnya belanjaan gw beranak jadi 3 kantong...
kekekeke :p

trusnya... naaahhh ini nih....
ada sesuatu yg bikin gw BETE!!!
ga tw napa, on the way gw pulang, banyak bgt org yg ngerokok...
dari wkt gw nungguin tram... di tram (ga bole ngerokok di dlm tram, tp org yg duduk di sebrang gw obviously abis ngerokok juz before she gets on the tram, abisnya baunya ga ketolongan...)
sampe akhirnya gw sampe rumah... rasanya bau rokok ga mau ninggalin gw...
gw rasa housemate gw lagi ngerokok lagi....
hhhfff... dah ah, gw ga mo bilang apa2 lagi soal dy...
dah capek... en gw yakin dy juga dah capek ma gw....
gw sebel, dy juga sebel...
cuma hari ini gw bener2 capek... ga bisa apa kasi gw udara seger sehari aja??!!
gw paling ga tahan ma bau rokok!!! klo bau kaos kaki ga dicuci seminggu mah masi ok...
tp klo bau rokok... bikin org sesak napas... merugikan kesehatan org lagi...
sebel.. =_=

well, akhirnya, gw pikir, mgkn gw bete gitu gara2 lagi laper...
ya udah gw masak dulu trus makan, buat mengurangi ke-sensi-an gw...
i think it works a lil bit... hehehe :p
gw dah janji ma diri ndiri, mulai skrg, klo gw cium bau rokok lagi di rumah,
i won't say anything... tp gw bakal pasang muka bete...
ya iya lah, mana mgkn ga bete klo gw ga bisa napas??!!!

ya sudah lah...
lagi banyak pikiran nih.... besok confec dah musti bikin packaging lagi!!!
duhhh maakkk!!! rasanya mo nangis deh!!! T_T
td aja, saking pusing mikirin ntar malem mo gimana ngomongnya...
sekantong belanjaan gw mpe ketinggalan di kasir...
sampe gw musti ke costumer service buat ngambil belanjaan gw yg ketinggalan...
duuuhh bego bgt ga sih??!! kayaknya jiwa gw emang lagi ga di sini....
entah melayang ke mana... LoL... ^0^

ya udah lah...
tengkiu smuanya... for everything that you've done for me...
hopefully u all had a nice day... ^_^

taking decision

hmm..
pening pala gw...
tw "pening" ga?? klo ga tw...
pening itu = pusing...

sumtimes i hate it to be an adult...
have to take decisions EVERYDAY in my life...
and have to be responsible for it...
no one will do it for you, coz it's your life...

kadang gw ga ngerti diri gw ndiri...
suka ngambil decision telalu cepet...
entah dah berapa kali dlm hidup gw, esp. taon ini
gw musti berkali2 ambil keputusan besar dalem hidup gw...
dan ada yg begitu gw ambil itu keputusan, gw ngerasa itu adl keputusan yg bener...
tp ada keputusan yg begitu gw ambil, gw ngerasa nyesel...
ada yg pas gw ambil.... gw still ngerasa unsure about the decision that i've taken...
otak gw penuh sampe gw ga bisa mikir lagi...
capek... sesak...
mo tenggelem ke dalem perut bumi aja...
(ga jadi deh, panas... hehehe :p)

gitu deh...
sejak pindah ke melb, kayaknya hidup gw ga pernah bener2 settled..
maybe it's a good thing...
soalnya kan jadi seru... hehehe :p
masalahnya, gw suka lupa bersyukur aja klo lagi ngalamin masalahnya....
klo masalahnya dah lewat sih, mgkn dengan entengnya gw bs bilang klo apa yg baru aja gw alamin tuh seru...
tp klo lagi ngalamin, boro2 bisa mikir klo itu seru... u wish!! LoL

sudah lah.... daripada cerita ga jelas... mending gw do sumthing...

feel bad...

hyaaaa!!!
huaaa!!!
kyaa!!!
(??)

bingung ya?? ini silat ato apa??
ini teriakan saya...
hehehe :p

feel bad bgt nih...
belakangan ini, jiwa gw pasti tertekan sekali (maap ya jiwa)
soalnya gw suka nunda2 kerjaan...
trus...
skrg kerjaan jadi numpuk...
gw dah tw klo itu salah...
tp gw masi aja ga bisa disiplinin diri...
parah deh!!!

skrg... dah tw ada tugas, malah online...
td pagi, gw bangun pagi2 malah nelp indo,
ngobrol ma temen sma gw mpe 3 jam!!!
(gpp sih, dah lama juga ga ngobrol ma dy)
tuhh kan!!! pikiran kayak begini lah yg bikin gw ga bisa maju
en ga bisa disiplin diri...

skrg ini gw lagi coba train diri gw buat disiplin
karena spt yg bokap gw bilang..
klo mo sukses jadi org, mulai dari disiplin diri...
alhasil, klo gw gagal tepat waktu ato gagal ngeraih target gw,
gw bakal feel bad abisss!!!
pengennya sih menghukum diri, tp gw ga tega...
hehehe :p

ya udah lah, mo belajar dulu deh... ^_^

big decision

i've juz taken a big decision in my life...
well, maybe not as big as u thought...
but it still big for me anyway...
and it involves some amount of money...
i'm not sure whether it's the rite decision...
it feels right at that time...
and now, i don't wanna regret it...
coz i've thought about it before...
i think i will regret it more if i didn't take it...
so...
here i am...
not sure what with my decision...
but have to moving on...
hopefully it wont change who i am....

sedihku...

kemana hilangnya smua itu??
secercah sinar mentari terselubung awan...
bulan tak lagi menampakan senyumnya...
bintang pun sembunyikan kerlipannya...

sepi ku rasa...
sekali lagi...
senyum...
tawa...
sirna...
tak tau kemana perginya...
hilang begitu saja....

setetes air bergulir dari mataku...
tetes demi tetes...
tak dapat kubendung lagi...
tapi ku tak mengerti...
mengapa rasa ini kembali??

hampa kurasa...
mungkin aku terlalu jauh dariMu...
sesak kurasa...
karena Kau lah napas hidupku...
hanya hembusan napasMu yg dapat memberi arti hidupku...
sepi...
kucari Kau... tuk temaniku malam ini...
dan ku sadar... ku tak pernah sendiri...
dan senyum itupun kembali... ^_^

fun in study

Akhirnya!!!! setelah sekian lama gw ga nulis blog... (ga kerasa dah 7 hari!!!)
gw nulis lagi skrg.... sebenernya banyak bgt ide di otak gw.... dari minggu lalu, gw dah ga sabar buat nuangin itu smua di sini... biar bisa gw bagiin ma org laen... tp apa bole buat, gw selalu ketiduran early, en internet gw abis 6 hari yg lalu.... so, that's my excuse... :p

Hmm... saking banyaknya yg mo gw ceritain, ga tw mo cerita yg mana duluan neh... hehehe :p
Gw cerita ttg hari gw aja deh...
hari ini, bagus bgt deh!!! cerah!!! serasa di perth... tp tetep aja, td pagi rada dingin... gw ada kelas pagi jam 8.30, jadi musti leave home early.... trus, tumben2an, gw bisa konsen 90% di lecture... hehehe... hari ini belajar ttg microbes... (males bgt ya baca cerita ttg hari2 gw???)

Gw kan skrg dah pindah uni di RMIT (gw dah cerita blm sih??)....
dan gw ga nyesel sih gw ambil decision itu... mgkn gw masi suka males2...
tp semales2nya gw... gw enjoy apa yg gw pelajarin.... and i guess that's what it's all about... having fun in what you r studying... temen2 gw juga pada baek... mereka tw gw anak baru, en masi suka ga tw apa2... and they r willing to help.... i'm glad... i know i don't have to worry, coz He will make a way for me... ^_^

My letter to God...

Dear God,

It's me again.... Your daughter...
It's me again... who like to call U in the middle of the nite...
It's me... who often forget about You...

God....
Juz wanna thank You for today....
You've given me such a wonderful day...
The sun shine brightly...
The birds sang beautifully...
and (again!!) it's all make me can't stop smiling!!! :))

You r so wonderful....
and i know U love me so much....
thx for Your patience and Your undying love...
I juz want You to know, how much i appreciate it...
even sumtimes i forgot all about it...
even sumtimes i can be so annoying to You....
even sumtimes i make u sad...
I'm trying... I'm trying Father.... and I will keep trying
to put a smile on your face...

nb: God... this morning, i've juz thought about sumthing...
i wondered, how does Your laughter sound like... hopefully i can hear it one day....
hopefully, i can be the one who make U laugh ^_^

i have joy in my life...

this time the posting is going to be a short one....
there are 2 reasons.. 1st, i don't have much time, coz i've gotta study for my Chem test tmrw... 2nd, since i don't have much time, i can't write much in a short time... :p

i juz wanna write bout JOY...

i've got JOY in my life...
i've got joy in my heart...
nothing can put me down....
coz He is with me...
and showering me with His love...

(still can't stop smilling till today.. :p)

reasons to smile :)

Reasons to SmiLe ^_^

Ok, walau judulnya pake bahasa inggris, gw tetep bakal nulis nih posting pake bahasa indo... juz simply coz gw males mikir2 pake inggris.... (masa ada temen gw bilang inggris gw tambah parah... hiks...)

anyway.... hari ini adl hari yg indah.... matahari bersinar cerah....
angin sepoi2 bertiup menyejukkan..... langit bersih tanpa awan....
pokoknya bagus euy! ^^

Trus, i can't help not to smile... walo gw ngantuk pas jalan pulang dari uni, bibir gw ga bisa berenti buat membuat lengkungan yg namanya senyum....
Trus, jadi inget kata2nya penyiar radio td pagi....
dy bilang, "hmm.... apa ya yg membuat kita tersenyum?? klo dipikir2, buat senyum tuh kita ga butuh alasan...."
Pas denger itu, jadi keinget flashback di masa SMA... wkt gw duduk sebangku ma temen gw yg namanya M--------.... Gara2 dy, makanya gw jadi tambah suka senyum.... hehehe... thx ya teman... ^_^ trus jadi inget juga kata2 penyiar radio Prambors yg suka bilang, "Smile can make the world to be a better place to live in.... and makes you more beautiful too!! No need for make up..." hehehe :p gt deh....
Tdnya gw ga nyadar klo gw suka senyum.... tp gara2 temen greja gw suka tiba memergoki gw sedang terseyum (tanpa sebab yg mereka mengerti), ada yg nyeletuk, "Napa siH? Keliatan seneng bgt, senyum2 mulu!" hahaha... lucu kan?? ada yg senyum, malah ada yg sewot....
Gw rasa, senyum itu datengnya dari dalem... karena gw punya joy in my heart..... jadi walo gw lagi susah, lagi sedih, lagi ada masalah, lagi stress.... gw tetep bisa senyum.... karena hati gw full of joy... (tp kadang gw keliatan cembetut juga sih... hehehe :p)

buat org2 yg dah baca postingan gw yg ini, maap klo mengecewakan....
karena isinya ga jelas..... cuma ttg gw yg suka tersenyum....
tp klo abis baca postingan ini, kalian juga jadi ikut tersenyum...
artinya ga sia2 gw nulis tentang hal yg "ga penting" ini.... ^_^
KEEP ON SMILING PEOPLE!!!

the guy from Rocko...

I'm awake and don't wanna go to sleep until i write this down....
It's 3.24AM.... and I've juz waken up bout one and a half hours ago...
My friend from Rocko (Spence) juz rang me....
We talked for about 1 hr!!! ^_^
So happy to hear his voice again.... and he told me that he misses me a lot....
Well, i told him that i don't miss him much.... but i miss him... LoL ^^
He kept asking me to go to Perth the end of the year... i really wanna go...
but i dunno yet... I'll see...
Once i heard his voice, all the memory at Rocko juz came back!!
I can hear the sound of the waves crashing on the rock....
the smell of it... the sound of noisy seagulls... etc...
Miss Perth so much!!!!
And i missed the clear sky full of stars!!
Warm weather....
Bright sun....
Miss Perth... juz can't explain it...
miss it much more than Jakarta...

masi sakit

mo kasi news update nih ttg perkembangan penyakit gw... hahaha...
ga ptg ya?? abisnya gw ga tw mo nulis apalagi selaen ini...
yg ada diotak gw cuma penyakit gw... sebel deh!!! capek nih sakit, padahal baru 3 hari... hari ini memasuki hari ke-4... moga2 bisa sembuh bsk....
selain bikin gw ga bisa ngapa2in... (krn bawaannya capek mulu)... gw juga jadi ga bisa deket ma org2 karena takut nularin... klo sakit tuh bener2 ga bisa ngapa2in deh, mo napas aja susah... karena sakit saya adalah batuk, pilek, plus demam... lengkap kaN?? hehehe :p dari idung mpe tenggorokan, smuanya sakit... klo dah kayak gini, pasti nyesel deh tdnya ga jaga kesehatan baek2... tp ntar klo kesehatannya dah balik, pasti lupa buat ngejaga... hahaha... namanya juga manusia... ga pernah menghargai apa yg dia punya, sampe dia kehilangan hal itu...

to be SiCk...

alo... lama tidak bersua...
memang skrg saya lagi ga bersuara.... LoL... (maap, dah subuh, jadi error)

Ternyata, sakit itu ga enak...
Gw ga nyangka, tenyata gw gampang bgt kena sakit.... dah dari jumat nih batuk2...
puncaknya pas sabtu kemaren, gw ga bisa bgn, karena pusink... alhasil gw tidur2an.... sambil menatap keluar jendela, wishing gw bisa keluar en menikmati secercah sinar matahari di Melbourne (jarang2 loh mataharinya terik..)

Trus pas minggu.... ternyata gw masi belom sembuh juga...
segala macam obat dah gw minum.... tetep aja ga sembuh2... emang sih dah mendingan batuknya.... walau tenggorokan gw masi sakit... skrg idung gw ikut sakit... T_T
merananya.... tp untungnya gw ga sendiri... hehehe :p (sakit kok cari2 temen?!)

kayaknya dari kemaren2 ini, topic gw ga telalu jauh dari penyakit ya???
abinya emang masi musim sakit2an sih.... gimana donk??!
hehehe :p

Ngomong soal sakit.... gw ga cuma sakit secara fisik loh...
gw lagi rada sedih juga.. ga tw napa, mgkn gw kecewa ma badan gw, karena gampang kena sakit... hehehe :p
bukan2... sebenernya... karena... rasanya gw baru aja nyakitin perasaan seseorang lagi.... duuhhh!! kadang gw benci ma diri gw ndiri.... napa jadi org ga bisa konsider other's feelings... dah terlanjur gw lontarin, baru deh nyesel.... gw bingung napa masi ada yg mo temenan ma gw... dah egois juga... mau menang sendiri... plin-plan... pokoknya gw berasa jahat bgt deh....

Ternyata, klo kita ngejahatin org, yg sakit bukan org yg kita sakitin aja, tp kitanya juga ikut sakit loh... napa ya??? hukum apakan ini??? hukum karma kah?? hehehe :p ga tw deh, gw ga belajar law, jadi gw ga ngerti hukum apa... hehehe :p

segini dulu aja deh....
gw mo berbatuk2 ria dulu, minum2, en ngobat.... (gile... ga nyangka kan gw bisa brutal juga??? LoL)
masi ada tugas nih... belom selese... dr td tdr mulu... dingin bgt lagi!!! brrr.... >_<

we tend to hurt ppl that we love most...

This morning i was listening to the radio... the announcer was talking and asking for a suggestion to celebrate his 3rd wedding anniversary...
He said, the 1st wedding anniversary, he wasn't even in the same country with his wife... but he managed to get his family to accompany his wife...

anyway... what i like most from what he was saying is that, we tend to hurt or abandon ppl that we love most... he said, when 2 ppl fell in love and decided to get married, wot they got in mind was that they want to spend time together, but then, when life gets busy and out of the way... esp. work... we juz forget what's the main purpose of the marriage... some couple, lost their romance... or juz forget to communicate with their partners... is in't it ironic??

i hope it will never happen to me... or if it will happen, at least i will realise it before it gets worse and the marriage leads to a divorce... i remember one of the caller said, to keep their romance in the marriage, she is pretending as if they juz got married or juz started to go out.. she treats her husband as if her boyfriend... LoL... i think it's kindda funny... ^_^ but it's a good idea... (reminds me to my parents...) :p

kok ga bosen sih?!

Baru 2 hari ga ngeblog, kok rasanya dah lama bgt ya?? Gw dah pny banyak banget hal yg mo gw tulis...

Hari ini... gw keinget ma topic lama yg selalu ada dipikiran gw....
it is about love... tentang cinta... tentang org yg kita kasihi...

Gini..... gw tuh suka kepikiran dari jaman gw SMP... org yg dah nikah, ga bosen apa ya ngeliat pasangannya (suami/istri) tiap hari??.... sebelom tidur liat dia, pas bgn tidur muka dy lagi yg kita liat... dan itu terjadi seumur idup, mpe tua (buat pasangan yg cukup beruntung, yg bisa idup bersama mpe tua)... berhubung gw orgnya gampang bosenan... gw suka mikir... ga bosen apa?! Gile aje!!!

Trus.... gw juga pernah nanya nykp ttg hal ini... gw nanya apa nykp gw ga ngerasa bosen ngeliat tampang bokap gw terus?!! (parah ya gw?!! Kayak mo menghasut bonyok gw... hahaha ^0^)... trus dengan yakin, nykp gw bilang, “Ya nggak lah!!”.... trus gw bilang... “Kok bisa??!”.... masi dengan rasa tidak percaya, dan otak yg belom bisa berpikir melampaui pikiran org dewasa.... gw merasa tidak puas dengan jawaban itu.... sampe akhirnya... hari ini...

Hari ini, ga tw napa.... begitu gw bgn, hasrat gw buat nulis berapi2.... tp tdnya belom ada ide.... Cuma pengen nulis aja.... trus, kepikiran deh soal ini....
Hari ini, tiba2 rasanya gw bisa mulai nerima dan mengerti “sedikit” jawaban dari nykp gw... well, emang sih gw blm bersuami... (masi single neh!! Hehehe :p).... tp, gw kaitin ini sama relationships yg dah gw punya... misalnya sama sahabat gw, Ivana.... sama ade2 gw.... sama bonyok gw.... keluarga gw.... Klo dipikir2... dah bertaon2 gw temenan ma ivana (dari jaman 5 SD)... mpe skrg... en gw ga bosen tuh liat muka dy... gw ga pernah bosen ngobrol ama dy.... gw ga pernah bosen denger ocehan dy... gitu juga dengan ade2 gw en bonyok gw, yg dah gw liat en ketemu terus sejak gw lahir.... ga ada bosennya.... malahan, klo sehari ga liat, malahan ada yg kurang... malahan ada yg ilang.... rasanya, disitu gw mulai ngerti.... klo emang mereka itu org yg kita kasihi... klo emang sama org yg kita sayangin (misalnya ya suami ato istri kita kelak).... kita emang ga bakal bosen.... coz we love them.... inilah amazingnya cinta.... ga bisa di explain.... karena emang ga ada explanationnya....

Naaahhh skrg, baru deh gw kaitin ma yg sedikit lebih religius.... di situ, gw juga berpikir... pantes aja Tuhan ga pernah bosen ma manusia.... biar dah dikhianatin berkali2pun... Dia ga pernah capek... ga pernah nyerah... coz He loves us sooooooooooo much!!! En buat ngetes seberapa besar cinta kita buat Dia.... kita bisa liat ndiri, apa kita bisa ngerasa bosen ma Tuhan... I hope not!! Karena klo gw ndiri, gw ga tahan klo sehariiii aja ga ngomong ama Dia.... masa, ada yang cinta bgt ma kita, mo nerima kita apa adanya, tp kita masi bisa berkeras hati ga mo nerima cinta Dia?? Gw sih ga tahan... pasti luluh deh ma penantianNya en kesabaranNya.... hehehe :p Gw harap, sapa pun yg baca blog gw ini, bisa ngerti apa yg gw maksud en juga merasakan apa yg gw rasain... ^_^

...

hmm... mo nulis apa ya kali ini...
i dont really have anythin to write...
well, i have a lot of things to tell bout my day today...
but i juz dont really wanna talk about it...
it's not that it's been a bad day, not at all...
i'm juz tired... i need sumone to talk to....
but i dont wanna talk.... weird huh?! :p

well... it's been a long day for me...
i slept at 2am this morning, and woke up at 7am...
had a class at 8.30am... finished at 12.30pm...
then i met my friend in the city, then we were planning to have lunch..
but my housemate asked me to help her to find sum rocks for her assignment...
so, off we go to Port Melbourne... i was soooo hungry by then...
we quickly found the rocks... then went home.... then i cooked the lunch...
and we had lunch at 2pm!!! i was soooooo soooo hungry... so i at pretty fast.... :p
after that, i had promised my friend to bake a cake.... so after lunch, i baked a chocolate cake... the final product taste quite good, but it's shape is unidentified... :p couldnt explain it.... it's broken into 4 pieces.. LoL... dunno how that can happen.... i wasnt there....

Btw, i made sum new friends today... during PeKa there were 3 new members of ICM... they are all boys... (hmmm...) hehehe :p
im asked to share my experience with ICM, so there i was... talking bout how i ended up joining this organisation.... (i will never regret it... i've learnt so many things there...)
After PeKa, i walked home wif my friends.... passing degraves lane... i like it... ^_^
on of my favourite spot in the city... it's juz so classy....
then i got home, talked to my housemates... ring my mum.. talked about 2 hrs... she told me bout the flowers in the garden.... she loves flowers and gardening.... and her favourite at the moment is the "9 o'clock" flower... it's called so, becoz it's only bloom at 9am... i think it's so cool!! how can a flower tell that it's 9 o'clock and it has to bloom?! isnt it amazing?? (anyway, it's been my mum's dream to have the flower in her own garden... it's her dream since she was a little girl... and the dream has come true!!!)

hmmm... then, after a while... i did nothin.... juz online.... tokin to sum friends.... then my neighbour rang me... asked me to join them to play cards... it's different kind of cards... called "BANG!"... it's fun!! LoL ^_^ the guys are funny and friendly... ^_^

anyway, i've gotta go to bed now.... good nite everyone...
have a good nite sleep and sweet dream... ^_^

Puisi bagi negara yg berperang...

Di sisi bumi yang lain....
ada perpecahan
ada perang
ada dendam
ada kesedihan
ada ketakutan
ada kekhawatiran

Di sisi bumi yang lain...
Tak ada lagi canda... tawa...
Yang ada hanya air mata...
Tak ada lagi damai...
tentram sirna...

Orang2 tak tau kemana kan pergi
Tak ada lagi tempat untuk bernaung,
untuk berteduh, untuk disebut rumah...

Di sisi bumu yang lain...
Tiap keping kehidupan,
hilang satu per satu...

Sedang aku...
di sisi bumi yang ini...
jauh dari sisi yang itu...
tak berkutik, tak tau harus berbuat apa...
hanya dapat berharap dalam hati,
smua ini hanya mimpi buruk belaka....

nulis...

ga tw napa...
gw lagi suka bgt nulis belakangan...
sehari bisa ngepos blog berkali2... ^^
walau isinya suka ga guna sih...
hehehe :p

gw bisa betah duduk berjam2...
cuma buat nulis...
bisa nulis diary... ato ngetik buat blog...
pokoknya yg bisa menghasilkan sesuatu buat bisa dibaca orang...
dari dulu, gw paling suka nulis sih...
eh, ga juga deh... wkt sd, ga paling benci disuruh mengarang yg musti ceritain gambar.... gw paling ga bisa en selalu kehabisan kata2... karena gw orgnya kan ga bisa basa-basi... jadi sekali cerita, lgs to the point gt... hehehe :p
(jadi inget masa sd...)
trus ga tw sejak kapan.... kayaknya pas sd kelas 5 ato 6 gt deh... gw mulai keep diary... simply juz becoz ada hal yg gw ga bisa ceritain ke org laen... jadi gw tulis aja... lama2, i find that nulis di diary itu enak juga... karena ga ada yg motong pembicaraan lu... ga ada yg ngejudge lu... en bakal nampung apa aja yg lu bilang and dijamin ga bakal bocor (klo bisa nyimpen diary lu dgn baik tentunya)... kadang diary works much better dibanding cerita ke org... tp kadang juga doesnt work at all... karena diary ga bisa ngasi masukan.. ga bisa kasi advice... jadi ya kita cuma bisa sebatas curhat en keluarin uneg2 aja...

Dulu, gw nulis diary cuma buat ngeluarin uneg2 aja.. daripada gw marah2 ma org laen, kan mending gw ngomel2 ke buku, mpe marah gw reda, baru deh gw lega...
tp skrg, gw dah jarang marah... jadi isinya bukan omelan2 lagi.... lagian ga enak deh baca diary yg isinya org ngomel2 mulu... hehehe :p (iya nih, gw suka baca2 diary gw...) Ntah sejak kapan, gw nulis diary dengan tujuan biar gw bisa belajar dari masa lalu gw.... jadi biasanya hal yg gw tulis adalah hal yg bisa ngebangun gw... well, ga smua sih... kadang isinya cuma curhatan juga... ga tentu deh! LoL
Gw pengen, isi diary gw bisa ngebantu org laen suatu hari nanti... semoga apa yg gw tulis itu, bisa jadi pelajaran... ga tw buat sapa... hehehe :p

Salah satu alesan laen napa gw nulis diary adalah karena gw orgnya pikun... en gw paling suka menyimpen en ngabadiin moment2 tertentu... menurut gw, salah satu anugrah yg paling indah yg di kasi Tuhan buat manusia adl memori, karena it's almost unlimited.... (sayangnya case gw beda... :p) klo moment-nya bisa diliat sih, bisa difoto.... tp klo ga bisa di foto kan, ya ga bisa.... hahaha.... daripada gw lupa... ya gw tulis aja.... gw ceritain... en it helps loh! dengan baca lagi aja, gw serasa ngeliat flashback dari moment itu... hebat kan memori kita?!
Di dlm diary gw.... banyak cerita ttg gw (ya iya lah!! sapa lagi?!)... ga smuanya cerita yg bagus... tp itu smua cuplikan2 dari film kehidupan gw... ada saat dimana gw jatoh.... ada saat dimana gw belajar bangkit dari jatoh gw itu... ada saat dimana gw bisa berdiri en jalan lagi... ada saat dimana gw jatoh ditempat yg sama.... etc
Secara ga langsung, diary tuh jadi sarana belajar gw.... gw jadi lebih ngenal diri gw loh! Karena apa yg gw tulis di diary lebih jujur (gw usaha jujur sejujur2nya) dibanding gw ngomong ma org... klo ma org laen kan, pasti ada hal yg masi ga bisa lu omongin lah... iya ga sih??? hehehe :p

ya udah deh.... segini dulu aja, dah panjang bgt ya.... hehehe :p

love comes and goes?

when love comes
and when love goes...

when love comes...
everything looks brighter...
everything seems better than before...
sun seemes shinier than ever...
birds seem singing the most beautiful songs you've ever heard...
when u walk, it seems like floating on water...
when u smile, ppl can see the angel in you...
it seems like earth has never been any happier,
more beutiful than ever...
and peace and warmth is juz everywhere...

BUT...
when love goes away...
it also takes away all that light...
we all forget how to smile...
we all forget how to sing..
we all forget how to be happy...
full with worry...
every step that we take is full with uncertainty...
and heavy... dark... cold...
you juz can not walk straight...
and keep bumping on the edges...
hurt... tears fall down... scared...

they are all there, till we are brave enuf
to keep on walking... and find the love...
and let it stay in our heart...

i wonder who i really am

who am i??
sumtimes i wonder...
sumtimes i think i know who i am...
but when the judgements
and the expectations from others
doesn't fit with mine,
i wonder....
who i really am...

i've asked this question
so many times...
and each time...
the answer is never be the same...
i am this...
i am that...
they say...
but...
what do i say about myself??
isn't it the most important thing??
would the judgements change me??
do they really matter??
(sigh...)
i juz wanna be ME...
as simple and as happy as possible...
coz life is too complicated enuf...

reminded me to the "$2 story"...

Dah dari kemaren2 nih gw pengen bagiin pengalaman gw yg atu ini... tp ga sempet2 nulis... ada aja halangannya.. most of the time sih, gara2 ga ada wkt yg pas aja... skrg jam 6.30am, jadi mustinya ga bakal banyak gangguan lah... ^_^

Gini...
Wkt hari Senen lalu... gw kan lagi di QV sendirian... lagi nungguin temen gw.... trus gw duduk lah di QV, abisnya dingin sih di luar... trus, tidak lama, ada seorang cowok deketin gw... dy kurus, kucel, pegang harmonika... dy nanya ke gw.... "mau ga dengerin gw maenin lagu?? karena gw butuh duit buat beli makan gw hari ini"... well, dibilang kayak gt, gw ga bisa nolak donk... ga tega... lagian ga tw napa, (mgkn karena gw telalu polos :p) ga ada dalem benak gw buat nolak sih.... malahan wkt itu, gw lagi pengen ditemenin... eh pas bgt dy dtg... trus, ya udah, gw bilang aja, "Ok"... trus dy mulai deh mainin harmonikanya... ga bagus sih... tp dimata gw, dy dah usaha... klo di indo, bisa dibilang kayak pengamen lah... trus ga lama dy maen, dateng deh security... si pak security bilang klo dy harus keluar karena dy dah ganggu gw... trus tuh org ngaku2 kenal gw... well.... gw bingung musti gimana... pertama, gw ga mo boong... gw ga kenal dy... kedua... gw ga tw dy org baek2 ato bukan, klo ntar gw jadi dibawa ma si pak security juga gimana?! (emang sih, wkt itu gw egois bgt!!)... trus sebelom dy pegi, dy minta duit dulu ma gw... pas bgt, coin gw abis!! en gw ga ada duit kecil... duuuhhh gw jadi super duper ga enak abis... akhirnya, wkt dy masi kayak argue ma security, gw pegi deh.... gw pikir, klo emang mo makan, gw beliin dy makan dulu... gw ga tw sih dy mo apa.. cuma gw pikir smua org suka KFC, jadi gw beliin burger KFC.. hehehe :p trus pake antri lama... balik2 gw coba cari dy, dy dah ga ada... ada sktr 1 jam kali, gw cari2 tuh org sambil nunggu temen gw.... ternyata tuh org dah ga ada.... smp skrg masi wondering sih, gimana kabarnya dy... dah makan belom...

Lucunya ya, gw ga berasa takut loh wkt liat dy... padahal tampangnya mayan mirip preman.... klo gw mpe diapa2in kan serem juga... (well, ga mgkn sih, krn di tmp umum)... nyesel ga manfaatin kesempatan yg di kasi Tuhan buat berbuat baik... melayang deh 1 lagi... :(

Gw cerita ini, karena hari ini gw dapet email dari temen gw... ttg cerita yg mirip... judulnya "$2 story"... intinya sih... ya... ttg mengasihi... jangan teori doank, tp tunjukin juga prakteknya... what if klo org itu adalah.... (arrgghh!!! ga tw ah!).... telalu banyak mikir, telalu banyak takut, ga bakal bisa maju.... kadang2 dalam hidup ada jatohnya, en moment yg penting tuh bukan wkt kejayaan kita... tp adl wkt kita lagi terperosok jatoh, en kita bisa bangkit lagi en move on... itu yg penting... dari sini gw belajar... laen kali buat lebih berani lagi... (en selalu sedia coins ato makanan) hehehe :p kesempatan jarang dateng 2 kali... jadi gw musti sll siap2... sapa tw ada lagi kesempatan kayak gini.... ^_^