i have joy in my life...

this time the posting is going to be a short one....
there are 2 reasons.. 1st, i don't have much time, coz i've gotta study for my Chem test tmrw... 2nd, since i don't have much time, i can't write much in a short time... :p

i juz wanna write bout JOY...

i've got JOY in my life...
i've got joy in my heart...
nothing can put me down....
coz He is with me...
and showering me with His love...

(still can't stop smilling till today.. :p)

reasons to smile :)

Reasons to SmiLe ^_^

Ok, walau judulnya pake bahasa inggris, gw tetep bakal nulis nih posting pake bahasa indo... juz simply coz gw males mikir2 pake inggris.... (masa ada temen gw bilang inggris gw tambah parah... hiks...)

anyway.... hari ini adl hari yg indah.... matahari bersinar cerah....
angin sepoi2 bertiup menyejukkan..... langit bersih tanpa awan....
pokoknya bagus euy! ^^

Trus, i can't help not to smile... walo gw ngantuk pas jalan pulang dari uni, bibir gw ga bisa berenti buat membuat lengkungan yg namanya senyum....
Trus, jadi inget kata2nya penyiar radio td pagi....
dy bilang, "hmm.... apa ya yg membuat kita tersenyum?? klo dipikir2, buat senyum tuh kita ga butuh alasan...."
Pas denger itu, jadi keinget flashback di masa SMA... wkt gw duduk sebangku ma temen gw yg namanya M--------.... Gara2 dy, makanya gw jadi tambah suka senyum.... hehehe... thx ya teman... ^_^ trus jadi inget juga kata2 penyiar radio Prambors yg suka bilang, "Smile can make the world to be a better place to live in.... and makes you more beautiful too!! No need for make up..." hehehe :p gt deh....
Tdnya gw ga nyadar klo gw suka senyum.... tp gara2 temen greja gw suka tiba memergoki gw sedang terseyum (tanpa sebab yg mereka mengerti), ada yg nyeletuk, "Napa siH? Keliatan seneng bgt, senyum2 mulu!" hahaha... lucu kan?? ada yg senyum, malah ada yg sewot....
Gw rasa, senyum itu datengnya dari dalem... karena gw punya joy in my heart..... jadi walo gw lagi susah, lagi sedih, lagi ada masalah, lagi stress.... gw tetep bisa senyum.... karena hati gw full of joy... (tp kadang gw keliatan cembetut juga sih... hehehe :p)

buat org2 yg dah baca postingan gw yg ini, maap klo mengecewakan....
karena isinya ga jelas..... cuma ttg gw yg suka tersenyum....
tp klo abis baca postingan ini, kalian juga jadi ikut tersenyum...
artinya ga sia2 gw nulis tentang hal yg "ga penting" ini.... ^_^
KEEP ON SMILING PEOPLE!!!

the guy from Rocko...

I'm awake and don't wanna go to sleep until i write this down....
It's 3.24AM.... and I've juz waken up bout one and a half hours ago...
My friend from Rocko (Spence) juz rang me....
We talked for about 1 hr!!! ^_^
So happy to hear his voice again.... and he told me that he misses me a lot....
Well, i told him that i don't miss him much.... but i miss him... LoL ^^
He kept asking me to go to Perth the end of the year... i really wanna go...
but i dunno yet... I'll see...
Once i heard his voice, all the memory at Rocko juz came back!!
I can hear the sound of the waves crashing on the rock....
the smell of it... the sound of noisy seagulls... etc...
Miss Perth so much!!!!
And i missed the clear sky full of stars!!
Warm weather....
Bright sun....
Miss Perth... juz can't explain it...
miss it much more than Jakarta...

masi sakit

mo kasi news update nih ttg perkembangan penyakit gw... hahaha...
ga ptg ya?? abisnya gw ga tw mo nulis apalagi selaen ini...
yg ada diotak gw cuma penyakit gw... sebel deh!!! capek nih sakit, padahal baru 3 hari... hari ini memasuki hari ke-4... moga2 bisa sembuh bsk....
selain bikin gw ga bisa ngapa2in... (krn bawaannya capek mulu)... gw juga jadi ga bisa deket ma org2 karena takut nularin... klo sakit tuh bener2 ga bisa ngapa2in deh, mo napas aja susah... karena sakit saya adalah batuk, pilek, plus demam... lengkap kaN?? hehehe :p dari idung mpe tenggorokan, smuanya sakit... klo dah kayak gini, pasti nyesel deh tdnya ga jaga kesehatan baek2... tp ntar klo kesehatannya dah balik, pasti lupa buat ngejaga... hahaha... namanya juga manusia... ga pernah menghargai apa yg dia punya, sampe dia kehilangan hal itu...

to be SiCk...

alo... lama tidak bersua...
memang skrg saya lagi ga bersuara.... LoL... (maap, dah subuh, jadi error)

Ternyata, sakit itu ga enak...
Gw ga nyangka, tenyata gw gampang bgt kena sakit.... dah dari jumat nih batuk2...
puncaknya pas sabtu kemaren, gw ga bisa bgn, karena pusink... alhasil gw tidur2an.... sambil menatap keluar jendela, wishing gw bisa keluar en menikmati secercah sinar matahari di Melbourne (jarang2 loh mataharinya terik..)

Trus pas minggu.... ternyata gw masi belom sembuh juga...
segala macam obat dah gw minum.... tetep aja ga sembuh2... emang sih dah mendingan batuknya.... walau tenggorokan gw masi sakit... skrg idung gw ikut sakit... T_T
merananya.... tp untungnya gw ga sendiri... hehehe :p (sakit kok cari2 temen?!)

kayaknya dari kemaren2 ini, topic gw ga telalu jauh dari penyakit ya???
abinya emang masi musim sakit2an sih.... gimana donk??!
hehehe :p

Ngomong soal sakit.... gw ga cuma sakit secara fisik loh...
gw lagi rada sedih juga.. ga tw napa, mgkn gw kecewa ma badan gw, karena gampang kena sakit... hehehe :p
bukan2... sebenernya... karena... rasanya gw baru aja nyakitin perasaan seseorang lagi.... duuhhh!! kadang gw benci ma diri gw ndiri.... napa jadi org ga bisa konsider other's feelings... dah terlanjur gw lontarin, baru deh nyesel.... gw bingung napa masi ada yg mo temenan ma gw... dah egois juga... mau menang sendiri... plin-plan... pokoknya gw berasa jahat bgt deh....

Ternyata, klo kita ngejahatin org, yg sakit bukan org yg kita sakitin aja, tp kitanya juga ikut sakit loh... napa ya??? hukum apakan ini??? hukum karma kah?? hehehe :p ga tw deh, gw ga belajar law, jadi gw ga ngerti hukum apa... hehehe :p

segini dulu aja deh....
gw mo berbatuk2 ria dulu, minum2, en ngobat.... (gile... ga nyangka kan gw bisa brutal juga??? LoL)
masi ada tugas nih... belom selese... dr td tdr mulu... dingin bgt lagi!!! brrr.... >_<

we tend to hurt ppl that we love most...

This morning i was listening to the radio... the announcer was talking and asking for a suggestion to celebrate his 3rd wedding anniversary...
He said, the 1st wedding anniversary, he wasn't even in the same country with his wife... but he managed to get his family to accompany his wife...

anyway... what i like most from what he was saying is that, we tend to hurt or abandon ppl that we love most... he said, when 2 ppl fell in love and decided to get married, wot they got in mind was that they want to spend time together, but then, when life gets busy and out of the way... esp. work... we juz forget what's the main purpose of the marriage... some couple, lost their romance... or juz forget to communicate with their partners... is in't it ironic??

i hope it will never happen to me... or if it will happen, at least i will realise it before it gets worse and the marriage leads to a divorce... i remember one of the caller said, to keep their romance in the marriage, she is pretending as if they juz got married or juz started to go out.. she treats her husband as if her boyfriend... LoL... i think it's kindda funny... ^_^ but it's a good idea... (reminds me to my parents...) :p

kok ga bosen sih?!

Baru 2 hari ga ngeblog, kok rasanya dah lama bgt ya?? Gw dah pny banyak banget hal yg mo gw tulis...

Hari ini... gw keinget ma topic lama yg selalu ada dipikiran gw....
it is about love... tentang cinta... tentang org yg kita kasihi...

Gini..... gw tuh suka kepikiran dari jaman gw SMP... org yg dah nikah, ga bosen apa ya ngeliat pasangannya (suami/istri) tiap hari??.... sebelom tidur liat dia, pas bgn tidur muka dy lagi yg kita liat... dan itu terjadi seumur idup, mpe tua (buat pasangan yg cukup beruntung, yg bisa idup bersama mpe tua)... berhubung gw orgnya gampang bosenan... gw suka mikir... ga bosen apa?! Gile aje!!!

Trus.... gw juga pernah nanya nykp ttg hal ini... gw nanya apa nykp gw ga ngerasa bosen ngeliat tampang bokap gw terus?!! (parah ya gw?!! Kayak mo menghasut bonyok gw... hahaha ^0^)... trus dengan yakin, nykp gw bilang, “Ya nggak lah!!”.... trus gw bilang... “Kok bisa??!”.... masi dengan rasa tidak percaya, dan otak yg belom bisa berpikir melampaui pikiran org dewasa.... gw merasa tidak puas dengan jawaban itu.... sampe akhirnya... hari ini...

Hari ini, ga tw napa.... begitu gw bgn, hasrat gw buat nulis berapi2.... tp tdnya belom ada ide.... Cuma pengen nulis aja.... trus, kepikiran deh soal ini....
Hari ini, tiba2 rasanya gw bisa mulai nerima dan mengerti “sedikit” jawaban dari nykp gw... well, emang sih gw blm bersuami... (masi single neh!! Hehehe :p).... tp, gw kaitin ini sama relationships yg dah gw punya... misalnya sama sahabat gw, Ivana.... sama ade2 gw.... sama bonyok gw.... keluarga gw.... Klo dipikir2... dah bertaon2 gw temenan ma ivana (dari jaman 5 SD)... mpe skrg... en gw ga bosen tuh liat muka dy... gw ga pernah bosen ngobrol ama dy.... gw ga pernah bosen denger ocehan dy... gitu juga dengan ade2 gw en bonyok gw, yg dah gw liat en ketemu terus sejak gw lahir.... ga ada bosennya.... malahan, klo sehari ga liat, malahan ada yg kurang... malahan ada yg ilang.... rasanya, disitu gw mulai ngerti.... klo emang mereka itu org yg kita kasihi... klo emang sama org yg kita sayangin (misalnya ya suami ato istri kita kelak).... kita emang ga bakal bosen.... coz we love them.... inilah amazingnya cinta.... ga bisa di explain.... karena emang ga ada explanationnya....

Naaahhh skrg, baru deh gw kaitin ma yg sedikit lebih religius.... di situ, gw juga berpikir... pantes aja Tuhan ga pernah bosen ma manusia.... biar dah dikhianatin berkali2pun... Dia ga pernah capek... ga pernah nyerah... coz He loves us sooooooooooo much!!! En buat ngetes seberapa besar cinta kita buat Dia.... kita bisa liat ndiri, apa kita bisa ngerasa bosen ma Tuhan... I hope not!! Karena klo gw ndiri, gw ga tahan klo sehariiii aja ga ngomong ama Dia.... masa, ada yang cinta bgt ma kita, mo nerima kita apa adanya, tp kita masi bisa berkeras hati ga mo nerima cinta Dia?? Gw sih ga tahan... pasti luluh deh ma penantianNya en kesabaranNya.... hehehe :p Gw harap, sapa pun yg baca blog gw ini, bisa ngerti apa yg gw maksud en juga merasakan apa yg gw rasain... ^_^

...

hmm... mo nulis apa ya kali ini...
i dont really have anythin to write...
well, i have a lot of things to tell bout my day today...
but i juz dont really wanna talk about it...
it's not that it's been a bad day, not at all...
i'm juz tired... i need sumone to talk to....
but i dont wanna talk.... weird huh?! :p

well... it's been a long day for me...
i slept at 2am this morning, and woke up at 7am...
had a class at 8.30am... finished at 12.30pm...
then i met my friend in the city, then we were planning to have lunch..
but my housemate asked me to help her to find sum rocks for her assignment...
so, off we go to Port Melbourne... i was soooo hungry by then...
we quickly found the rocks... then went home.... then i cooked the lunch...
and we had lunch at 2pm!!! i was soooooo soooo hungry... so i at pretty fast.... :p
after that, i had promised my friend to bake a cake.... so after lunch, i baked a chocolate cake... the final product taste quite good, but it's shape is unidentified... :p couldnt explain it.... it's broken into 4 pieces.. LoL... dunno how that can happen.... i wasnt there....

Btw, i made sum new friends today... during PeKa there were 3 new members of ICM... they are all boys... (hmmm...) hehehe :p
im asked to share my experience with ICM, so there i was... talking bout how i ended up joining this organisation.... (i will never regret it... i've learnt so many things there...)
After PeKa, i walked home wif my friends.... passing degraves lane... i like it... ^_^
on of my favourite spot in the city... it's juz so classy....
then i got home, talked to my housemates... ring my mum.. talked about 2 hrs... she told me bout the flowers in the garden.... she loves flowers and gardening.... and her favourite at the moment is the "9 o'clock" flower... it's called so, becoz it's only bloom at 9am... i think it's so cool!! how can a flower tell that it's 9 o'clock and it has to bloom?! isnt it amazing?? (anyway, it's been my mum's dream to have the flower in her own garden... it's her dream since she was a little girl... and the dream has come true!!!)

hmmm... then, after a while... i did nothin.... juz online.... tokin to sum friends.... then my neighbour rang me... asked me to join them to play cards... it's different kind of cards... called "BANG!"... it's fun!! LoL ^_^ the guys are funny and friendly... ^_^

anyway, i've gotta go to bed now.... good nite everyone...
have a good nite sleep and sweet dream... ^_^

Puisi bagi negara yg berperang...

Di sisi bumi yang lain....
ada perpecahan
ada perang
ada dendam
ada kesedihan
ada ketakutan
ada kekhawatiran

Di sisi bumi yang lain...
Tak ada lagi canda... tawa...
Yang ada hanya air mata...
Tak ada lagi damai...
tentram sirna...

Orang2 tak tau kemana kan pergi
Tak ada lagi tempat untuk bernaung,
untuk berteduh, untuk disebut rumah...

Di sisi bumu yang lain...
Tiap keping kehidupan,
hilang satu per satu...

Sedang aku...
di sisi bumi yang ini...
jauh dari sisi yang itu...
tak berkutik, tak tau harus berbuat apa...
hanya dapat berharap dalam hati,
smua ini hanya mimpi buruk belaka....

nulis...

ga tw napa...
gw lagi suka bgt nulis belakangan...
sehari bisa ngepos blog berkali2... ^^
walau isinya suka ga guna sih...
hehehe :p

gw bisa betah duduk berjam2...
cuma buat nulis...
bisa nulis diary... ato ngetik buat blog...
pokoknya yg bisa menghasilkan sesuatu buat bisa dibaca orang...
dari dulu, gw paling suka nulis sih...
eh, ga juga deh... wkt sd, ga paling benci disuruh mengarang yg musti ceritain gambar.... gw paling ga bisa en selalu kehabisan kata2... karena gw orgnya kan ga bisa basa-basi... jadi sekali cerita, lgs to the point gt... hehehe :p
(jadi inget masa sd...)
trus ga tw sejak kapan.... kayaknya pas sd kelas 5 ato 6 gt deh... gw mulai keep diary... simply juz becoz ada hal yg gw ga bisa ceritain ke org laen... jadi gw tulis aja... lama2, i find that nulis di diary itu enak juga... karena ga ada yg motong pembicaraan lu... ga ada yg ngejudge lu... en bakal nampung apa aja yg lu bilang and dijamin ga bakal bocor (klo bisa nyimpen diary lu dgn baik tentunya)... kadang diary works much better dibanding cerita ke org... tp kadang juga doesnt work at all... karena diary ga bisa ngasi masukan.. ga bisa kasi advice... jadi ya kita cuma bisa sebatas curhat en keluarin uneg2 aja...

Dulu, gw nulis diary cuma buat ngeluarin uneg2 aja.. daripada gw marah2 ma org laen, kan mending gw ngomel2 ke buku, mpe marah gw reda, baru deh gw lega...
tp skrg, gw dah jarang marah... jadi isinya bukan omelan2 lagi.... lagian ga enak deh baca diary yg isinya org ngomel2 mulu... hehehe :p (iya nih, gw suka baca2 diary gw...) Ntah sejak kapan, gw nulis diary dengan tujuan biar gw bisa belajar dari masa lalu gw.... jadi biasanya hal yg gw tulis adalah hal yg bisa ngebangun gw... well, ga smua sih... kadang isinya cuma curhatan juga... ga tentu deh! LoL
Gw pengen, isi diary gw bisa ngebantu org laen suatu hari nanti... semoga apa yg gw tulis itu, bisa jadi pelajaran... ga tw buat sapa... hehehe :p

Salah satu alesan laen napa gw nulis diary adalah karena gw orgnya pikun... en gw paling suka menyimpen en ngabadiin moment2 tertentu... menurut gw, salah satu anugrah yg paling indah yg di kasi Tuhan buat manusia adl memori, karena it's almost unlimited.... (sayangnya case gw beda... :p) klo moment-nya bisa diliat sih, bisa difoto.... tp klo ga bisa di foto kan, ya ga bisa.... hahaha.... daripada gw lupa... ya gw tulis aja.... gw ceritain... en it helps loh! dengan baca lagi aja, gw serasa ngeliat flashback dari moment itu... hebat kan memori kita?!
Di dlm diary gw.... banyak cerita ttg gw (ya iya lah!! sapa lagi?!)... ga smuanya cerita yg bagus... tp itu smua cuplikan2 dari film kehidupan gw... ada saat dimana gw jatoh.... ada saat dimana gw belajar bangkit dari jatoh gw itu... ada saat dimana gw bisa berdiri en jalan lagi... ada saat dimana gw jatoh ditempat yg sama.... etc
Secara ga langsung, diary tuh jadi sarana belajar gw.... gw jadi lebih ngenal diri gw loh! Karena apa yg gw tulis di diary lebih jujur (gw usaha jujur sejujur2nya) dibanding gw ngomong ma org... klo ma org laen kan, pasti ada hal yg masi ga bisa lu omongin lah... iya ga sih??? hehehe :p

ya udah deh.... segini dulu aja, dah panjang bgt ya.... hehehe :p

love comes and goes?

when love comes
and when love goes...

when love comes...
everything looks brighter...
everything seems better than before...
sun seemes shinier than ever...
birds seem singing the most beautiful songs you've ever heard...
when u walk, it seems like floating on water...
when u smile, ppl can see the angel in you...
it seems like earth has never been any happier,
more beutiful than ever...
and peace and warmth is juz everywhere...

BUT...
when love goes away...
it also takes away all that light...
we all forget how to smile...
we all forget how to sing..
we all forget how to be happy...
full with worry...
every step that we take is full with uncertainty...
and heavy... dark... cold...
you juz can not walk straight...
and keep bumping on the edges...
hurt... tears fall down... scared...

they are all there, till we are brave enuf
to keep on walking... and find the love...
and let it stay in our heart...

i wonder who i really am

who am i??
sumtimes i wonder...
sumtimes i think i know who i am...
but when the judgements
and the expectations from others
doesn't fit with mine,
i wonder....
who i really am...

i've asked this question
so many times...
and each time...
the answer is never be the same...
i am this...
i am that...
they say...
but...
what do i say about myself??
isn't it the most important thing??
would the judgements change me??
do they really matter??
(sigh...)
i juz wanna be ME...
as simple and as happy as possible...
coz life is too complicated enuf...

reminded me to the "$2 story"...

Dah dari kemaren2 nih gw pengen bagiin pengalaman gw yg atu ini... tp ga sempet2 nulis... ada aja halangannya.. most of the time sih, gara2 ga ada wkt yg pas aja... skrg jam 6.30am, jadi mustinya ga bakal banyak gangguan lah... ^_^

Gini...
Wkt hari Senen lalu... gw kan lagi di QV sendirian... lagi nungguin temen gw.... trus gw duduk lah di QV, abisnya dingin sih di luar... trus, tidak lama, ada seorang cowok deketin gw... dy kurus, kucel, pegang harmonika... dy nanya ke gw.... "mau ga dengerin gw maenin lagu?? karena gw butuh duit buat beli makan gw hari ini"... well, dibilang kayak gt, gw ga bisa nolak donk... ga tega... lagian ga tw napa, (mgkn karena gw telalu polos :p) ga ada dalem benak gw buat nolak sih.... malahan wkt itu, gw lagi pengen ditemenin... eh pas bgt dy dtg... trus, ya udah, gw bilang aja, "Ok"... trus dy mulai deh mainin harmonikanya... ga bagus sih... tp dimata gw, dy dah usaha... klo di indo, bisa dibilang kayak pengamen lah... trus ga lama dy maen, dateng deh security... si pak security bilang klo dy harus keluar karena dy dah ganggu gw... trus tuh org ngaku2 kenal gw... well.... gw bingung musti gimana... pertama, gw ga mo boong... gw ga kenal dy... kedua... gw ga tw dy org baek2 ato bukan, klo ntar gw jadi dibawa ma si pak security juga gimana?! (emang sih, wkt itu gw egois bgt!!)... trus sebelom dy pegi, dy minta duit dulu ma gw... pas bgt, coin gw abis!! en gw ga ada duit kecil... duuuhhh gw jadi super duper ga enak abis... akhirnya, wkt dy masi kayak argue ma security, gw pegi deh.... gw pikir, klo emang mo makan, gw beliin dy makan dulu... gw ga tw sih dy mo apa.. cuma gw pikir smua org suka KFC, jadi gw beliin burger KFC.. hehehe :p trus pake antri lama... balik2 gw coba cari dy, dy dah ga ada... ada sktr 1 jam kali, gw cari2 tuh org sambil nunggu temen gw.... ternyata tuh org dah ga ada.... smp skrg masi wondering sih, gimana kabarnya dy... dah makan belom...

Lucunya ya, gw ga berasa takut loh wkt liat dy... padahal tampangnya mayan mirip preman.... klo gw mpe diapa2in kan serem juga... (well, ga mgkn sih, krn di tmp umum)... nyesel ga manfaatin kesempatan yg di kasi Tuhan buat berbuat baik... melayang deh 1 lagi... :(

Gw cerita ini, karena hari ini gw dapet email dari temen gw... ttg cerita yg mirip... judulnya "$2 story"... intinya sih... ya... ttg mengasihi... jangan teori doank, tp tunjukin juga prakteknya... what if klo org itu adalah.... (arrgghh!!! ga tw ah!).... telalu banyak mikir, telalu banyak takut, ga bakal bisa maju.... kadang2 dalam hidup ada jatohnya, en moment yg penting tuh bukan wkt kejayaan kita... tp adl wkt kita lagi terperosok jatoh, en kita bisa bangkit lagi en move on... itu yg penting... dari sini gw belajar... laen kali buat lebih berani lagi... (en selalu sedia coins ato makanan) hehehe :p kesempatan jarang dateng 2 kali... jadi gw musti sll siap2... sapa tw ada lagi kesempatan kayak gini.... ^_^

Sport...

Pagi semua!!!! ^_^
it's almost 9am now... td pagi, gw bangun jam 6.30an.... trus lari en jalan pagi ma temen gw.... mayan sih... mayan capek maksudnya.... hehehe :p
Moga2 aja badan (esp. kaki) gw sakit besoknya... klo sakit kan, artinya gw dah exercise otot2 gw... hehehe :p
Dah lama bgt ga olah raga... esp. sejak exam preparation ma holiday.... bener2 ga olahraga!!! untung sih gw ga put on weight... malahan loss weight nih gara2 nykp gw dateng ke sini.... nge-limit porsi makan gw... =_= tdnya rada sebel sih, makannya jadi kurang kenyang... tp berkat nykp (thx mum!) kayaknya lambung gw menciut deh, masa makan dikit aja dah kenyang??!?! Kemaren aja temen2 greja gw mpe kaget denger gw ga pesen makan.... LoL
kurang ajar juga sih... kesannya gw tukang makan gt... kebetulan aja sih, pas gw lagi ma mereka, perut gw lagi kosong, jadi kesannya gw selalu kelaperan.... hehehe :p
Oiya, gw mo ngomong soal sport nih.... the reason tiba2 gw mulai sport lagi...
pertama, gw takut ntar klo dah tua jadi sakit2an... skrg aja dah mulai ada tanda2 kayak penyakit org tua... jadi takut...
kedua, pengen biasain selagi muda.... biar jadi lifestyle.... klo dah biasa kan, enak..... jadi ga ngerasa susah buat mulai.... klo start early kan bagus... buat mencegah penyakit yg aneh2....
ketiga, buat nemenin temen gw yg sedang sakit en butuh olahraga... yaaa kita encourage each other lah.... kan gw juga butuh temen, males klo ndirian.... dy juga gt.... trus kita sama2 ga pernah olahraga, jd kan ga malu klo baru lari bentar dah capek... hehehe :p
keempat, dah banyak org yg bilang ke gw buat olahraga (salah satunya diri gw ndiri :p)... nykp bilang, ci evy bilang, sapa lagi ya?? pokoknya banyak deh... badan gw juga kayaknya dah mulai menjerit2 minta dipake alias diolah... jadi ya... harus diolah deh... klo nggak, ntar bisa pengapuran (mang org tua?!) hehehe :p gw juga mo kuatin tulang gw... karena gw jarang minum susu, kan klo exercise bisa nambah calcium dalem tulang... otot juga jadi lebih kuat.... tidur jadi lebih nyenyak.. hidup lebih sehat en teratur.... ya... moga2 mulai hari ini, gw bisa jadiin sport salah satu kebiasaan baik gw deh... hehehe ^_^

pagi ini...

Pagi ini...
Kubuka mataku lagi...
Rasanya ingin ku teriak...
Ingin ku tumpahkan smua rasa...
Tapi ku tak tau kemana....

Pagi ini...
Gelap... sepi...
Dan kuberanjak dari peraduan...
Berjalan perlahan... mencari-Nya...
Sbab ku rindu Dia...

Pagi ini...
Ku mencoba...
Dengar Dia...
Ku mencoba....
Bicara padaNya...

Pagi ini...
Ku katakan padaNya...
Ku ingin kembali...
Ku ingin...
kembali padaNya...

felt like left behind...

Gw tw, gw ga boleh ngeluh mulu...
Gw tw, ga smua dalam hidup ini bakal sll sama kayak yg gw expect...
Ppl do change...
Temen datang dan pergi...
Waktu cepat berlalu...
Masa lalu selalu terlihat lebih indah...
Masa depan sll terlihat penuh keraguan dan ketidakpastian...
Tp buat apa khawatir?? Toh kita hidup di masa ini...
Kita hidup sekarang...
Apa yang penting, adalah apa yang telah kita tanam sekarang...
supaya kita bisa petik hasilnya di masa depan...
Mungkin, di masa lalu, gw banyak menebar benih pertemanan...
Well, ga semuanya tumbuh dengan sukses....
Ada yang belom sempet tumbuh, dah mati duluan...
Ada yang sempet tumbuh, tapi lama2 layu dan mati juga...
Ada yang tumbuh, terus tumbuh, tapi ga berbuah2...
Ada yang tumbuh, tp lama2 melenceng en susah diatur...
dan akhirnya harus ditebang...
Ada yang tumbuh, tumbuh, dan terus tumbuh....
dan berbuah!!!
Memang tidak banyak.... tapi mereka berbuah...
mereka tumbuh tinggi... sehingga bisa kasi keteduhan...
mereka tumbuh kuat.... sehingga bisa kasi tempat buat bersandar...
mereka berbuah... kadang tidak selalu manis... kadang buahnya terasa asam..
tp... yg penting adalah, mereka berbuah... dan akan terus tumbuh....
So, napa gw sibuk mikirin yg ga tumbuh??
napa gw sibuk meratapi yang mati??
napa gw sibuk nangisin yg terpaksa gw tebang??
napa gw ga puas aja dengan hasil dari benih yang sudah tumbuh dan berbuah??

pray

Just a little longer I wanna pray
Can't get You out of my mind, so I came to say
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me
------------------------------------------------
I copied this from my friend's blog...
hehehe ^^

when love's gone...

lagi demen nulis nih..
sebenernya pengen sih nulis pake inggris.. tp... berhubung liburan,
gw lama ga pake inggris.... inggris gw jadi tambah jelek deh... (alesan.... hehehe :p)

well, skrg gw lagi manggang quiche sambil ntn Dr.Phill...
Ga ngerti deh... setiap ntn Dr. Phill, gw jadi takut buat mulai sebuah relationship...
gimana ga takut coba?? abisnya, tiap ari, ada aja pasangan2 yg dtg ke dy buat konsultasi dengan berbagai macam masalah rumah tangga yg aneh2...
Ada yg suami abusive, ada yg istri cheat suaminya...
ada yg ngerasa dah ga cocok lagi, tp ga mo cerai demi anak2...
ada yg tiap hari berantem mulu... etc... banyak deh!!!

Setiap ntn Dr. Phill, pasti kepikiran... kok bisa ya itu smua terjadi??
Klo kita yg ntn mgkn dengan mudahnya bilang...
"wah, itu sih cuma salah paham kecil" ato "ah, itu mah cuma gara2 kurang komunikasi"
ato comment2 lain yg gampang aja deh dilontarkan...
tp... klo dari sudut pandang org yg ngalaminnya... belom tentu masalahnya segampang itu...
kadang.... masalah kecil dipendem2... lama2 jadi gede.... ditambah lagi masalahnya meledak pada saat yg tepat.... waahhh... udah deh.. bisa ancur deh tuh relationship...
Yg suka gw ga ngerti... napa ga dari awal mereka perbaikin??? wkt rusaknya masi kecil en belom parah, napa ga direparasi dulu?? Napa dibiarin mpe parah???
Trus klo mang ngerasa ga cocok... napa ga keliatan ga cocoknya pas pacaran?? napa musti nunggu mpe merit n punya anak, baru nyadar klo ga cocok?? gw ga ngerti dunianya org dewasa... (kan gw masi teenager... LoL) ribet.. too complicated...

i'm hurt... i'm sick...

i'm hurting....
and i'm sick...
can u see the difference??

i've juz taken up one of the hardest decision in my life...
i guess, it's nothing more than moving to Melbourne...
it's more...
more uncertainty...
more...
it's juz too much... that i juz wanna stop for a moment...
i'm too scared to take another step forward...
coz i can't see what's waiting in front of me...
sumtimes, i looked back...
and saw that happy moment...
i wish... i stopped there...
but... i didn't... i moved... forward...
coz i wanna learn...
coz i used to be brave...
coz i used to never be afraid...
coz i used to have u beside me...
and... now.... i dunno whether it's gonna be the same...
or not...
coz i can't see anything in front of me....
i wish.... i really wish...
u'd be there still... with me... passing these hard moment...
as u used to be....
------------------------------------------------------------------
Btw, bedanya i'm sick and i'm hurting...
well, basically, both sentence beda... (tulisannya...)
hehehe ^_^

Gw nulis itu, karena apa ya??? hehehe...
Gini... gw nemu perumpamaan yg mirip and bisa explain situasi gw
skrg exactly!!!
Gw kan skrg lagi sakit pilek... (iya nih... ga sembuh2)
Yg namanya pilek... or flu... or cold... itu penyebabnya virus...
virus itu, adalah creature yg sangat jahat en berbahaya...
mereka selalu ada di dlm kita... tp kita ga sadar....
karena immune sistem kita kuat, makanya virus ga bisa apa2 walau mereka ada di dlm kita....
tp begitu kita lemah... lgs deh dy serang kita.... jadinya kita sakit deh...
nah.. itu sebabnya gw sakit... (sebenernya gw bukan mo cerita ttg virus... hehehe :p)
Gini loh.... sebenernya dari awal juli lalu, gw mustinya dah bisa donor darah lagi...
tp... wat a coincidence.... gw kena flu!!! klo sakit tuh, ga boleh donor darah....
ya iya la... masa darah yg ada penyakitnya mo di kasi ke org yg lebih sakit ke gw?! ada juga tuh org tambah sakit donk!!! gw bete bgt sih... karena gw pengen bgt donor darah.... (freak ya?! LoL) well, ga ada salahnya kan hobi donor darah... dari pada hobi yg aneh2... hehehe :p
Nah.... skrg, gw lagi kejepit di situasi yg mirip tuh ma perihal donor darah gw ini...
intinya... gw ga boleh... tp sebenernya gw mau bgt!!! en mgkn org lain ga ngerti kenapa gw ga lakuin aja... toh ga ada ruginya... well, maybe emang keliatan ga ada ruginya... tp, klo emang belom wktnya.... (seperti perihal donor darah gw.... gw msh sakit, jadi belom wktnya.... walau klo gw mo bandel en egois, gw bisa aja tetep donor, en ga bilang klo gw sakit... tp buat apa?!) ada juga ntar gw malah bukan cuma nyakitin diri ndiri... gw juga bisa nyakitin org lain... org yg paling ga pengen gw sakitin mgkn malah bakal hurt the most... daripada kayak gitu.... bukan kah lebih baik klo gw nunggu aja??? sampe flu gw ilang... sampe gw siap... sampe wkt-Nya tiba.... en gw ga tw kapan.... sama spt gw ga tw kapan flu gw bakal sembuh... hehehe :p

it's ok to fail...

Hmm... i dunno why... this morning, this thought juz came to my mind...
I was thinkin... about failure....
I remembered a time when i was a kid....
when i was too scared to fail... too scared to lose a competition...
that i didn't even try to do it....
And at that time, i was thinking...
I wish, there was sumbody who told me, that it's ok to not to win....
it's ok to lose...
It's ok.... as long as u did your best... there won't be any regret....
It is better to do your best and yet still fail, than didn't do anything,
coz u're juz too scared to be fail....
It's much better to lose a race, than didn't do the race at all....
Coz when u fail... when u have done your best, u can tell yourself that u have done everything that u possibly could... even though u fail, u wont regret it...

And another thing came into my mind....
It is also ok to show your weaknesses...
Have i mentioned it???
Yea.. it's ok to cry...
it's ok to show your sadness....
it's ok to show your emotions...
Coz sum ppl juz can't express their emotions...
and it is sad....
Showing that u r sad, or upset, or maybe heart broken to sumone else
might make u look weak...
but i can guarantee... that u'll feel better after that...
coz everyone has a limit...
u might be able to handle the load atm...
but, soon or later, u'll need sumone....
sumone that u can trust...
sumone that cares about u...
sumone to help u to carry that load...
it's juz so much easier when u open up your heart....