ada apa dg gw??!

Huaaaa!!!!!
(sori nih klo belakangan gw banyak ngeluh...)

I felt like i hvnt been living my life fully lately...
it started from last weekend...
until now...
i lost the peace once i felt...
(i know it's always there, i juz can't find it, can't feel it)

kemaren pas belanja, gw ketinggalan belanjaan...
hari ini, abis kelas, ketinggalan folder n tempat pensil gw...
eeehhh ga twnya, abis prac, folder gw yg laen ketinggalan juga!!!
Parah bgt!!!
Klo gara2 gw pikun sih, gw terima2 aja...
tp ini gw tw bukan gara2 gw pikun... tp gara2 pikiran gw ga ada di mana badan gw berada...
ga tw napa... (Lord.. help me to go thru this...)
gila deh... gw dah ga kayak gw...
klo ketiduran, berasa bersalah...
(karena gw blm ngerjain tugas)
tp klo ga tdr, gw capek...
yg ada di otak gw cuma mo pulang, balik ke indo...
pikiran2 yg negative smuanya keluar klo gw dah lagi di situasi kayak gini...
i guess i need a break...
tp salah gw, gw dah had a lot of break... pas temen2 gw lagi sibuk2 dg tugas, gw malah nyante2...
skrg, stress ndiri.... mana pake ada masalah laen lagi...
itu lah yg nyita pikiran gw...
klo emosi gw dah keluar... jangan maen2 ma gw...
gw bisa sebelin seumur2...

duhhh... pengen bgt ke pantai...
apa gw pegi aja ya malem ini??
ngerjain assignment di pantai... enak kali ya??
hehehe :p

gw rasanya ga mo pulang...
klo pulang, gw stres... gw rasanya balik lagi ke reality...
klo balik ke rumah, musti kerjain assignments...
musti mikirin gimana lari dari smua masalah gw...
trus akhirnya gw cuma bengong kayak sapi ompong...

hiks...
abis ngeluh gini, tambah ngerasa bersalah karena dah ngeluh...
napa sih manusia punya rasa bersalah??
hhhfffff... capek... =_=

Steve Irwin

oiya... td lupa nulis ini deh, saking sebelnya...
td kan gw ntn berita sambil dinner...
ada berita duka bagi Australia....

org yg dibanggakan jadi "Crocodile Hunter", Steve Irwin, meninggal hari ini...
dy baru aja umur 44 taon...
anak2nya masi kecil...
en dy org yg passionate bgt ttg apa yg dy suka, which is WILD LIFE...
dan... dy meninggal di tengah2 laut... ironisnya, dy bisa naklukin buaya, ular phyton, paus... tp, dy meninggal gara2 di "sting" ma ikan pari.... kabarnya, dy kena "sting" di dadanya...
kemungkinan kena jantung en meninggal seketika...
(makanya jangan maen2 ma ikan pari... keliatan jinak, tp racunnya mematikan loh!)

gw langsung keinget dengan peribahasa indo...
"Sepandai-pandai tupai meloncat, pasti akan jatuh juga"
well, dy emang suka maen ma binatang2 yg berbahaya gitu...
klo ga ati2, saat dy lagi lengah, ya bisa aja berakhir kayak gini...
Banyak yg shock...
dy berkesan unbreakable...
ga bakal ada yg bisa ngalahin dy...
tp... apa yg terjadi?? satu "sting", dan dy ga bisa apa2...

sedih emang...
walo gw ga kenal dy...
gw bisa liat klo dy itu pribadi yg apa adanya...
org yg bener2 passionate about what he loves...
dan dy seorang suami n ayah yg loving...
sedih emang...
pertanyaan yg gw tanyain wkt denger berita itu adl..
"dy dah kenal Tuhan belum ya??"
sedih bgt deh klo belom...
org yg baek kayak gitu, sayang bgt klo ga kenal Tuhan...
semoga aja dy diterima Tuhan...
semoga aja dy dah terima Tuhan...
RIP ya Steve...

sebel... =_=

hari ini....
capek bgt... capek fisik... capek pikiran...
(sori nih, isi blognya bakalan keluhan smua)

hari ini...
gw bener2 ga prepared....
ke uni telat (gw kira telat)
ternyata hari ini gw ga ada prac...
dah lari2 kayak org kebakaran ekor...
cepet pake coverall, pake boots, pake hair net...
twnya ga ada prac!!!
salah gw sih ga ngecek jadwal...
ternyata kelas gw jam 10.30 (klo ada prac jam 9.00)
alhasil, gw punya wkt 1 1/2 jam buat do sumfin else...
satu hal yg bikin gw seneng, artinya gw ga telat hari ini..
hehehe :p

anyway....
kelas wasn't too bad...
i drank coffee juz before my 3hrs lecture....
and i was paying attention for the 1st time... (biasanya ketiduran)
hehehe :p
trus... pulang, gw belanja dulu....
tdnya cuma gara2 toilet tissue di rumah dah abis,
en klo gw ga beli, ga bakal ada yg beli...
gw pikir sekalian lah...
so... dari situ, akhirnya belanjaan gw beranak jadi 3 kantong...
kekekeke :p

trusnya... naaahhh ini nih....
ada sesuatu yg bikin gw BETE!!!
ga tw napa, on the way gw pulang, banyak bgt org yg ngerokok...
dari wkt gw nungguin tram... di tram (ga bole ngerokok di dlm tram, tp org yg duduk di sebrang gw obviously abis ngerokok juz before she gets on the tram, abisnya baunya ga ketolongan...)
sampe akhirnya gw sampe rumah... rasanya bau rokok ga mau ninggalin gw...
gw rasa housemate gw lagi ngerokok lagi....
hhhfff... dah ah, gw ga mo bilang apa2 lagi soal dy...
dah capek... en gw yakin dy juga dah capek ma gw....
gw sebel, dy juga sebel...
cuma hari ini gw bener2 capek... ga bisa apa kasi gw udara seger sehari aja??!!
gw paling ga tahan ma bau rokok!!! klo bau kaos kaki ga dicuci seminggu mah masi ok...
tp klo bau rokok... bikin org sesak napas... merugikan kesehatan org lagi...
sebel.. =_=

well, akhirnya, gw pikir, mgkn gw bete gitu gara2 lagi laper...
ya udah gw masak dulu trus makan, buat mengurangi ke-sensi-an gw...
i think it works a lil bit... hehehe :p
gw dah janji ma diri ndiri, mulai skrg, klo gw cium bau rokok lagi di rumah,
i won't say anything... tp gw bakal pasang muka bete...
ya iya lah, mana mgkn ga bete klo gw ga bisa napas??!!!

ya sudah lah...
lagi banyak pikiran nih.... besok confec dah musti bikin packaging lagi!!!
duhhh maakkk!!! rasanya mo nangis deh!!! T_T
td aja, saking pusing mikirin ntar malem mo gimana ngomongnya...
sekantong belanjaan gw mpe ketinggalan di kasir...
sampe gw musti ke costumer service buat ngambil belanjaan gw yg ketinggalan...
duuuhh bego bgt ga sih??!! kayaknya jiwa gw emang lagi ga di sini....
entah melayang ke mana... LoL... ^0^

ya udah lah...
tengkiu smuanya... for everything that you've done for me...
hopefully u all had a nice day... ^_^

taking decision

hmm..
pening pala gw...
tw "pening" ga?? klo ga tw...
pening itu = pusing...

sumtimes i hate it to be an adult...
have to take decisions EVERYDAY in my life...
and have to be responsible for it...
no one will do it for you, coz it's your life...

kadang gw ga ngerti diri gw ndiri...
suka ngambil decision telalu cepet...
entah dah berapa kali dlm hidup gw, esp. taon ini
gw musti berkali2 ambil keputusan besar dalem hidup gw...
dan ada yg begitu gw ambil itu keputusan, gw ngerasa itu adl keputusan yg bener...
tp ada keputusan yg begitu gw ambil, gw ngerasa nyesel...
ada yg pas gw ambil.... gw still ngerasa unsure about the decision that i've taken...
otak gw penuh sampe gw ga bisa mikir lagi...
capek... sesak...
mo tenggelem ke dalem perut bumi aja...
(ga jadi deh, panas... hehehe :p)

gitu deh...
sejak pindah ke melb, kayaknya hidup gw ga pernah bener2 settled..
maybe it's a good thing...
soalnya kan jadi seru... hehehe :p
masalahnya, gw suka lupa bersyukur aja klo lagi ngalamin masalahnya....
klo masalahnya dah lewat sih, mgkn dengan entengnya gw bs bilang klo apa yg baru aja gw alamin tuh seru...
tp klo lagi ngalamin, boro2 bisa mikir klo itu seru... u wish!! LoL

sudah lah.... daripada cerita ga jelas... mending gw do sumthing...

feel bad...

hyaaaa!!!
huaaa!!!
kyaa!!!
(??)

bingung ya?? ini silat ato apa??
ini teriakan saya...
hehehe :p

feel bad bgt nih...
belakangan ini, jiwa gw pasti tertekan sekali (maap ya jiwa)
soalnya gw suka nunda2 kerjaan...
trus...
skrg kerjaan jadi numpuk...
gw dah tw klo itu salah...
tp gw masi aja ga bisa disiplinin diri...
parah deh!!!

skrg... dah tw ada tugas, malah online...
td pagi, gw bangun pagi2 malah nelp indo,
ngobrol ma temen sma gw mpe 3 jam!!!
(gpp sih, dah lama juga ga ngobrol ma dy)
tuhh kan!!! pikiran kayak begini lah yg bikin gw ga bisa maju
en ga bisa disiplin diri...

skrg ini gw lagi coba train diri gw buat disiplin
karena spt yg bokap gw bilang..
klo mo sukses jadi org, mulai dari disiplin diri...
alhasil, klo gw gagal tepat waktu ato gagal ngeraih target gw,
gw bakal feel bad abisss!!!
pengennya sih menghukum diri, tp gw ga tega...
hehehe :p

ya udah lah, mo belajar dulu deh... ^_^

big decision

i've juz taken a big decision in my life...
well, maybe not as big as u thought...
but it still big for me anyway...
and it involves some amount of money...
i'm not sure whether it's the rite decision...
it feels right at that time...
and now, i don't wanna regret it...
coz i've thought about it before...
i think i will regret it more if i didn't take it...
so...
here i am...
not sure what with my decision...
but have to moving on...
hopefully it wont change who i am....

sedihku...

kemana hilangnya smua itu??
secercah sinar mentari terselubung awan...
bulan tak lagi menampakan senyumnya...
bintang pun sembunyikan kerlipannya...

sepi ku rasa...
sekali lagi...
senyum...
tawa...
sirna...
tak tau kemana perginya...
hilang begitu saja....

setetes air bergulir dari mataku...
tetes demi tetes...
tak dapat kubendung lagi...
tapi ku tak mengerti...
mengapa rasa ini kembali??

hampa kurasa...
mungkin aku terlalu jauh dariMu...
sesak kurasa...
karena Kau lah napas hidupku...
hanya hembusan napasMu yg dapat memberi arti hidupku...
sepi...
kucari Kau... tuk temaniku malam ini...
dan ku sadar... ku tak pernah sendiri...
dan senyum itupun kembali... ^_^

fun in study

Akhirnya!!!! setelah sekian lama gw ga nulis blog... (ga kerasa dah 7 hari!!!)
gw nulis lagi skrg.... sebenernya banyak bgt ide di otak gw.... dari minggu lalu, gw dah ga sabar buat nuangin itu smua di sini... biar bisa gw bagiin ma org laen... tp apa bole buat, gw selalu ketiduran early, en internet gw abis 6 hari yg lalu.... so, that's my excuse... :p

Hmm... saking banyaknya yg mo gw ceritain, ga tw mo cerita yg mana duluan neh... hehehe :p
Gw cerita ttg hari gw aja deh...
hari ini, bagus bgt deh!!! cerah!!! serasa di perth... tp tetep aja, td pagi rada dingin... gw ada kelas pagi jam 8.30, jadi musti leave home early.... trus, tumben2an, gw bisa konsen 90% di lecture... hehehe... hari ini belajar ttg microbes... (males bgt ya baca cerita ttg hari2 gw???)

Gw kan skrg dah pindah uni di RMIT (gw dah cerita blm sih??)....
dan gw ga nyesel sih gw ambil decision itu... mgkn gw masi suka males2...
tp semales2nya gw... gw enjoy apa yg gw pelajarin.... and i guess that's what it's all about... having fun in what you r studying... temen2 gw juga pada baek... mereka tw gw anak baru, en masi suka ga tw apa2... and they r willing to help.... i'm glad... i know i don't have to worry, coz He will make a way for me... ^_^

My letter to God...

Dear God,

It's me again.... Your daughter...
It's me again... who like to call U in the middle of the nite...
It's me... who often forget about You...

God....
Juz wanna thank You for today....
You've given me such a wonderful day...
The sun shine brightly...
The birds sang beautifully...
and (again!!) it's all make me can't stop smiling!!! :))

You r so wonderful....
and i know U love me so much....
thx for Your patience and Your undying love...
I juz want You to know, how much i appreciate it...
even sumtimes i forgot all about it...
even sumtimes i can be so annoying to You....
even sumtimes i make u sad...
I'm trying... I'm trying Father.... and I will keep trying
to put a smile on your face...

nb: God... this morning, i've juz thought about sumthing...
i wondered, how does Your laughter sound like... hopefully i can hear it one day....
hopefully, i can be the one who make U laugh ^_^

i have joy in my life...

this time the posting is going to be a short one....
there are 2 reasons.. 1st, i don't have much time, coz i've gotta study for my Chem test tmrw... 2nd, since i don't have much time, i can't write much in a short time... :p

i juz wanna write bout JOY...

i've got JOY in my life...
i've got joy in my heart...
nothing can put me down....
coz He is with me...
and showering me with His love...

(still can't stop smilling till today.. :p)

reasons to smile :)

Reasons to SmiLe ^_^

Ok, walau judulnya pake bahasa inggris, gw tetep bakal nulis nih posting pake bahasa indo... juz simply coz gw males mikir2 pake inggris.... (masa ada temen gw bilang inggris gw tambah parah... hiks...)

anyway.... hari ini adl hari yg indah.... matahari bersinar cerah....
angin sepoi2 bertiup menyejukkan..... langit bersih tanpa awan....
pokoknya bagus euy! ^^

Trus, i can't help not to smile... walo gw ngantuk pas jalan pulang dari uni, bibir gw ga bisa berenti buat membuat lengkungan yg namanya senyum....
Trus, jadi inget kata2nya penyiar radio td pagi....
dy bilang, "hmm.... apa ya yg membuat kita tersenyum?? klo dipikir2, buat senyum tuh kita ga butuh alasan...."
Pas denger itu, jadi keinget flashback di masa SMA... wkt gw duduk sebangku ma temen gw yg namanya M--------.... Gara2 dy, makanya gw jadi tambah suka senyum.... hehehe... thx ya teman... ^_^ trus jadi inget juga kata2 penyiar radio Prambors yg suka bilang, "Smile can make the world to be a better place to live in.... and makes you more beautiful too!! No need for make up..." hehehe :p gt deh....
Tdnya gw ga nyadar klo gw suka senyum.... tp gara2 temen greja gw suka tiba memergoki gw sedang terseyum (tanpa sebab yg mereka mengerti), ada yg nyeletuk, "Napa siH? Keliatan seneng bgt, senyum2 mulu!" hahaha... lucu kan?? ada yg senyum, malah ada yg sewot....
Gw rasa, senyum itu datengnya dari dalem... karena gw punya joy in my heart..... jadi walo gw lagi susah, lagi sedih, lagi ada masalah, lagi stress.... gw tetep bisa senyum.... karena hati gw full of joy... (tp kadang gw keliatan cembetut juga sih... hehehe :p)

buat org2 yg dah baca postingan gw yg ini, maap klo mengecewakan....
karena isinya ga jelas..... cuma ttg gw yg suka tersenyum....
tp klo abis baca postingan ini, kalian juga jadi ikut tersenyum...
artinya ga sia2 gw nulis tentang hal yg "ga penting" ini.... ^_^
KEEP ON SMILING PEOPLE!!!

the guy from Rocko...

I'm awake and don't wanna go to sleep until i write this down....
It's 3.24AM.... and I've juz waken up bout one and a half hours ago...
My friend from Rocko (Spence) juz rang me....
We talked for about 1 hr!!! ^_^
So happy to hear his voice again.... and he told me that he misses me a lot....
Well, i told him that i don't miss him much.... but i miss him... LoL ^^
He kept asking me to go to Perth the end of the year... i really wanna go...
but i dunno yet... I'll see...
Once i heard his voice, all the memory at Rocko juz came back!!
I can hear the sound of the waves crashing on the rock....
the smell of it... the sound of noisy seagulls... etc...
Miss Perth so much!!!!
And i missed the clear sky full of stars!!
Warm weather....
Bright sun....
Miss Perth... juz can't explain it...
miss it much more than Jakarta...

masi sakit

mo kasi news update nih ttg perkembangan penyakit gw... hahaha...
ga ptg ya?? abisnya gw ga tw mo nulis apalagi selaen ini...
yg ada diotak gw cuma penyakit gw... sebel deh!!! capek nih sakit, padahal baru 3 hari... hari ini memasuki hari ke-4... moga2 bisa sembuh bsk....
selain bikin gw ga bisa ngapa2in... (krn bawaannya capek mulu)... gw juga jadi ga bisa deket ma org2 karena takut nularin... klo sakit tuh bener2 ga bisa ngapa2in deh, mo napas aja susah... karena sakit saya adalah batuk, pilek, plus demam... lengkap kaN?? hehehe :p dari idung mpe tenggorokan, smuanya sakit... klo dah kayak gini, pasti nyesel deh tdnya ga jaga kesehatan baek2... tp ntar klo kesehatannya dah balik, pasti lupa buat ngejaga... hahaha... namanya juga manusia... ga pernah menghargai apa yg dia punya, sampe dia kehilangan hal itu...

to be SiCk...

alo... lama tidak bersua...
memang skrg saya lagi ga bersuara.... LoL... (maap, dah subuh, jadi error)

Ternyata, sakit itu ga enak...
Gw ga nyangka, tenyata gw gampang bgt kena sakit.... dah dari jumat nih batuk2...
puncaknya pas sabtu kemaren, gw ga bisa bgn, karena pusink... alhasil gw tidur2an.... sambil menatap keluar jendela, wishing gw bisa keluar en menikmati secercah sinar matahari di Melbourne (jarang2 loh mataharinya terik..)

Trus pas minggu.... ternyata gw masi belom sembuh juga...
segala macam obat dah gw minum.... tetep aja ga sembuh2... emang sih dah mendingan batuknya.... walau tenggorokan gw masi sakit... skrg idung gw ikut sakit... T_T
merananya.... tp untungnya gw ga sendiri... hehehe :p (sakit kok cari2 temen?!)

kayaknya dari kemaren2 ini, topic gw ga telalu jauh dari penyakit ya???
abinya emang masi musim sakit2an sih.... gimana donk??!
hehehe :p

Ngomong soal sakit.... gw ga cuma sakit secara fisik loh...
gw lagi rada sedih juga.. ga tw napa, mgkn gw kecewa ma badan gw, karena gampang kena sakit... hehehe :p
bukan2... sebenernya... karena... rasanya gw baru aja nyakitin perasaan seseorang lagi.... duuhhh!! kadang gw benci ma diri gw ndiri.... napa jadi org ga bisa konsider other's feelings... dah terlanjur gw lontarin, baru deh nyesel.... gw bingung napa masi ada yg mo temenan ma gw... dah egois juga... mau menang sendiri... plin-plan... pokoknya gw berasa jahat bgt deh....

Ternyata, klo kita ngejahatin org, yg sakit bukan org yg kita sakitin aja, tp kitanya juga ikut sakit loh... napa ya??? hukum apakan ini??? hukum karma kah?? hehehe :p ga tw deh, gw ga belajar law, jadi gw ga ngerti hukum apa... hehehe :p

segini dulu aja deh....
gw mo berbatuk2 ria dulu, minum2, en ngobat.... (gile... ga nyangka kan gw bisa brutal juga??? LoL)
masi ada tugas nih... belom selese... dr td tdr mulu... dingin bgt lagi!!! brrr.... >_<

we tend to hurt ppl that we love most...

This morning i was listening to the radio... the announcer was talking and asking for a suggestion to celebrate his 3rd wedding anniversary...
He said, the 1st wedding anniversary, he wasn't even in the same country with his wife... but he managed to get his family to accompany his wife...

anyway... what i like most from what he was saying is that, we tend to hurt or abandon ppl that we love most... he said, when 2 ppl fell in love and decided to get married, wot they got in mind was that they want to spend time together, but then, when life gets busy and out of the way... esp. work... we juz forget what's the main purpose of the marriage... some couple, lost their romance... or juz forget to communicate with their partners... is in't it ironic??

i hope it will never happen to me... or if it will happen, at least i will realise it before it gets worse and the marriage leads to a divorce... i remember one of the caller said, to keep their romance in the marriage, she is pretending as if they juz got married or juz started to go out.. she treats her husband as if her boyfriend... LoL... i think it's kindda funny... ^_^ but it's a good idea... (reminds me to my parents...) :p

kok ga bosen sih?!

Baru 2 hari ga ngeblog, kok rasanya dah lama bgt ya?? Gw dah pny banyak banget hal yg mo gw tulis...

Hari ini... gw keinget ma topic lama yg selalu ada dipikiran gw....
it is about love... tentang cinta... tentang org yg kita kasihi...

Gini..... gw tuh suka kepikiran dari jaman gw SMP... org yg dah nikah, ga bosen apa ya ngeliat pasangannya (suami/istri) tiap hari??.... sebelom tidur liat dia, pas bgn tidur muka dy lagi yg kita liat... dan itu terjadi seumur idup, mpe tua (buat pasangan yg cukup beruntung, yg bisa idup bersama mpe tua)... berhubung gw orgnya gampang bosenan... gw suka mikir... ga bosen apa?! Gile aje!!!

Trus.... gw juga pernah nanya nykp ttg hal ini... gw nanya apa nykp gw ga ngerasa bosen ngeliat tampang bokap gw terus?!! (parah ya gw?!! Kayak mo menghasut bonyok gw... hahaha ^0^)... trus dengan yakin, nykp gw bilang, “Ya nggak lah!!”.... trus gw bilang... “Kok bisa??!”.... masi dengan rasa tidak percaya, dan otak yg belom bisa berpikir melampaui pikiran org dewasa.... gw merasa tidak puas dengan jawaban itu.... sampe akhirnya... hari ini...

Hari ini, ga tw napa.... begitu gw bgn, hasrat gw buat nulis berapi2.... tp tdnya belom ada ide.... Cuma pengen nulis aja.... trus, kepikiran deh soal ini....
Hari ini, tiba2 rasanya gw bisa mulai nerima dan mengerti “sedikit” jawaban dari nykp gw... well, emang sih gw blm bersuami... (masi single neh!! Hehehe :p).... tp, gw kaitin ini sama relationships yg dah gw punya... misalnya sama sahabat gw, Ivana.... sama ade2 gw.... sama bonyok gw.... keluarga gw.... Klo dipikir2... dah bertaon2 gw temenan ma ivana (dari jaman 5 SD)... mpe skrg... en gw ga bosen tuh liat muka dy... gw ga pernah bosen ngobrol ama dy.... gw ga pernah bosen denger ocehan dy... gitu juga dengan ade2 gw en bonyok gw, yg dah gw liat en ketemu terus sejak gw lahir.... ga ada bosennya.... malahan, klo sehari ga liat, malahan ada yg kurang... malahan ada yg ilang.... rasanya, disitu gw mulai ngerti.... klo emang mereka itu org yg kita kasihi... klo emang sama org yg kita sayangin (misalnya ya suami ato istri kita kelak).... kita emang ga bakal bosen.... coz we love them.... inilah amazingnya cinta.... ga bisa di explain.... karena emang ga ada explanationnya....

Naaahhh skrg, baru deh gw kaitin ma yg sedikit lebih religius.... di situ, gw juga berpikir... pantes aja Tuhan ga pernah bosen ma manusia.... biar dah dikhianatin berkali2pun... Dia ga pernah capek... ga pernah nyerah... coz He loves us sooooooooooo much!!! En buat ngetes seberapa besar cinta kita buat Dia.... kita bisa liat ndiri, apa kita bisa ngerasa bosen ma Tuhan... I hope not!! Karena klo gw ndiri, gw ga tahan klo sehariiii aja ga ngomong ama Dia.... masa, ada yang cinta bgt ma kita, mo nerima kita apa adanya, tp kita masi bisa berkeras hati ga mo nerima cinta Dia?? Gw sih ga tahan... pasti luluh deh ma penantianNya en kesabaranNya.... hehehe :p Gw harap, sapa pun yg baca blog gw ini, bisa ngerti apa yg gw maksud en juga merasakan apa yg gw rasain... ^_^

...

hmm... mo nulis apa ya kali ini...
i dont really have anythin to write...
well, i have a lot of things to tell bout my day today...
but i juz dont really wanna talk about it...
it's not that it's been a bad day, not at all...
i'm juz tired... i need sumone to talk to....
but i dont wanna talk.... weird huh?! :p

well... it's been a long day for me...
i slept at 2am this morning, and woke up at 7am...
had a class at 8.30am... finished at 12.30pm...
then i met my friend in the city, then we were planning to have lunch..
but my housemate asked me to help her to find sum rocks for her assignment...
so, off we go to Port Melbourne... i was soooo hungry by then...
we quickly found the rocks... then went home.... then i cooked the lunch...
and we had lunch at 2pm!!! i was soooooo soooo hungry... so i at pretty fast.... :p
after that, i had promised my friend to bake a cake.... so after lunch, i baked a chocolate cake... the final product taste quite good, but it's shape is unidentified... :p couldnt explain it.... it's broken into 4 pieces.. LoL... dunno how that can happen.... i wasnt there....

Btw, i made sum new friends today... during PeKa there were 3 new members of ICM... they are all boys... (hmmm...) hehehe :p
im asked to share my experience with ICM, so there i was... talking bout how i ended up joining this organisation.... (i will never regret it... i've learnt so many things there...)
After PeKa, i walked home wif my friends.... passing degraves lane... i like it... ^_^
on of my favourite spot in the city... it's juz so classy....
then i got home, talked to my housemates... ring my mum.. talked about 2 hrs... she told me bout the flowers in the garden.... she loves flowers and gardening.... and her favourite at the moment is the "9 o'clock" flower... it's called so, becoz it's only bloom at 9am... i think it's so cool!! how can a flower tell that it's 9 o'clock and it has to bloom?! isnt it amazing?? (anyway, it's been my mum's dream to have the flower in her own garden... it's her dream since she was a little girl... and the dream has come true!!!)

hmmm... then, after a while... i did nothin.... juz online.... tokin to sum friends.... then my neighbour rang me... asked me to join them to play cards... it's different kind of cards... called "BANG!"... it's fun!! LoL ^_^ the guys are funny and friendly... ^_^

anyway, i've gotta go to bed now.... good nite everyone...
have a good nite sleep and sweet dream... ^_^

Puisi bagi negara yg berperang...

Di sisi bumi yang lain....
ada perpecahan
ada perang
ada dendam
ada kesedihan
ada ketakutan
ada kekhawatiran

Di sisi bumi yang lain...
Tak ada lagi canda... tawa...
Yang ada hanya air mata...
Tak ada lagi damai...
tentram sirna...

Orang2 tak tau kemana kan pergi
Tak ada lagi tempat untuk bernaung,
untuk berteduh, untuk disebut rumah...

Di sisi bumu yang lain...
Tiap keping kehidupan,
hilang satu per satu...

Sedang aku...
di sisi bumi yang ini...
jauh dari sisi yang itu...
tak berkutik, tak tau harus berbuat apa...
hanya dapat berharap dalam hati,
smua ini hanya mimpi buruk belaka....

nulis...

ga tw napa...
gw lagi suka bgt nulis belakangan...
sehari bisa ngepos blog berkali2... ^^
walau isinya suka ga guna sih...
hehehe :p

gw bisa betah duduk berjam2...
cuma buat nulis...
bisa nulis diary... ato ngetik buat blog...
pokoknya yg bisa menghasilkan sesuatu buat bisa dibaca orang...
dari dulu, gw paling suka nulis sih...
eh, ga juga deh... wkt sd, ga paling benci disuruh mengarang yg musti ceritain gambar.... gw paling ga bisa en selalu kehabisan kata2... karena gw orgnya kan ga bisa basa-basi... jadi sekali cerita, lgs to the point gt... hehehe :p
(jadi inget masa sd...)
trus ga tw sejak kapan.... kayaknya pas sd kelas 5 ato 6 gt deh... gw mulai keep diary... simply juz becoz ada hal yg gw ga bisa ceritain ke org laen... jadi gw tulis aja... lama2, i find that nulis di diary itu enak juga... karena ga ada yg motong pembicaraan lu... ga ada yg ngejudge lu... en bakal nampung apa aja yg lu bilang and dijamin ga bakal bocor (klo bisa nyimpen diary lu dgn baik tentunya)... kadang diary works much better dibanding cerita ke org... tp kadang juga doesnt work at all... karena diary ga bisa ngasi masukan.. ga bisa kasi advice... jadi ya kita cuma bisa sebatas curhat en keluarin uneg2 aja...

Dulu, gw nulis diary cuma buat ngeluarin uneg2 aja.. daripada gw marah2 ma org laen, kan mending gw ngomel2 ke buku, mpe marah gw reda, baru deh gw lega...
tp skrg, gw dah jarang marah... jadi isinya bukan omelan2 lagi.... lagian ga enak deh baca diary yg isinya org ngomel2 mulu... hehehe :p (iya nih, gw suka baca2 diary gw...) Ntah sejak kapan, gw nulis diary dengan tujuan biar gw bisa belajar dari masa lalu gw.... jadi biasanya hal yg gw tulis adalah hal yg bisa ngebangun gw... well, ga smua sih... kadang isinya cuma curhatan juga... ga tentu deh! LoL
Gw pengen, isi diary gw bisa ngebantu org laen suatu hari nanti... semoga apa yg gw tulis itu, bisa jadi pelajaran... ga tw buat sapa... hehehe :p

Salah satu alesan laen napa gw nulis diary adalah karena gw orgnya pikun... en gw paling suka menyimpen en ngabadiin moment2 tertentu... menurut gw, salah satu anugrah yg paling indah yg di kasi Tuhan buat manusia adl memori, karena it's almost unlimited.... (sayangnya case gw beda... :p) klo moment-nya bisa diliat sih, bisa difoto.... tp klo ga bisa di foto kan, ya ga bisa.... hahaha.... daripada gw lupa... ya gw tulis aja.... gw ceritain... en it helps loh! dengan baca lagi aja, gw serasa ngeliat flashback dari moment itu... hebat kan memori kita?!
Di dlm diary gw.... banyak cerita ttg gw (ya iya lah!! sapa lagi?!)... ga smuanya cerita yg bagus... tp itu smua cuplikan2 dari film kehidupan gw... ada saat dimana gw jatoh.... ada saat dimana gw belajar bangkit dari jatoh gw itu... ada saat dimana gw bisa berdiri en jalan lagi... ada saat dimana gw jatoh ditempat yg sama.... etc
Secara ga langsung, diary tuh jadi sarana belajar gw.... gw jadi lebih ngenal diri gw loh! Karena apa yg gw tulis di diary lebih jujur (gw usaha jujur sejujur2nya) dibanding gw ngomong ma org... klo ma org laen kan, pasti ada hal yg masi ga bisa lu omongin lah... iya ga sih??? hehehe :p

ya udah deh.... segini dulu aja, dah panjang bgt ya.... hehehe :p

love comes and goes?

when love comes
and when love goes...

when love comes...
everything looks brighter...
everything seems better than before...
sun seemes shinier than ever...
birds seem singing the most beautiful songs you've ever heard...
when u walk, it seems like floating on water...
when u smile, ppl can see the angel in you...
it seems like earth has never been any happier,
more beutiful than ever...
and peace and warmth is juz everywhere...

BUT...
when love goes away...
it also takes away all that light...
we all forget how to smile...
we all forget how to sing..
we all forget how to be happy...
full with worry...
every step that we take is full with uncertainty...
and heavy... dark... cold...
you juz can not walk straight...
and keep bumping on the edges...
hurt... tears fall down... scared...

they are all there, till we are brave enuf
to keep on walking... and find the love...
and let it stay in our heart...