my thoughts...

Nasib pengangguran.... ga ada kerjaan, jadi banyak mikir... ga tw mo ngapain, akhirnya isenk nulis buah2 pikiran gw di blog... moga2 ga ada yg baca.... (tp klo ga mau di baca, knp di post??! doesn't make sense... emang dasar manusia ga jelas...) hwawawa...

aniwei... gw cerita deh hari ini gw ngapain aja...
sebenernya ga ngapa2in sih... cuma ngurusin surat2 buat perpanjang visa... trus cari2 kerja juga... (but what's the point klo in a month gw bakal balik indo?? niwei, tetep aja gw browse2 kerjaan biar ga keliatan pengangguran bgt... so pathetic, isnt it??)
trus, pegi dinner di resto jepang sumwhere di sth yarra... (bener ga ya?? hueehhe :p lupa)
the dinner was great.... dalam rangka ultah soni (ke-26)... (thx ya son ^_^)
then, i got home.... trus, mulai deh ga tw mo ngapain.... gw coba telp co gw, tp didnt really help, berhubung dy masi kesel ama gw... hahaha... salah gw juga sih, maen ngebatalin "janji" tanpa alesan yg jelas.... (pesen gw buat yg kirain pacaran itu obat buat ngilangin kesepian... u r totally wrong!! klo kesepian, cari temen!! bukan ce ato co!!)...
aniwei, lalu gw duduk depan komputer... buka internet, en cek friendster... trus liat foto2 temen2 en sodara gw... dan pikiran gw mulai deh melayang...

pas ngeliat foto ci cen2 n koko... mulai mikir...
"so sweet..."
"haahaha.... these two people are in love..."
"it's wonderful how God helped two hearts to find each other's half..."
pokoknya intinya ngiri deh.... (ngiri dalem artian positif loh tpnya)... ngiri yg seneng juga ngeliat mereka bedua look happy in the photos...

trus...
liat profile dd gw... hmmm... Linda... what can i say about her??
"ck ck ck... dd gw dah gede ya?? ga berasa.... hahaha... (bitter laugh)"
"miss her actually... but i knew... klo ketemu pasti bakal berantem kayak biasa... hahaha (another bitter laugh)"
kenapa ya?? gw gengsian bgt jadi org??
when i love someone, bukannya gw berusaha nunjukin, gw bakalan mati2an nutupin perasaan gw... hahaha... dasar manusia aneh... it's not a sin to show love to the ones u love, you know?!
sumtimes i wonder... kapan ya gw bisa belajar jadi sahabat buat dd2 gw?? not being the annoying big sister... :( sedih juga sih... hahaha (one more bitter laugh)...

i guess gw lagi rada mellow nih... lagi down... ngerasa jadi org yg ga bener.... apa2 ga becus...
ga bisa nyenengin org laen... sll nyusahin org laen... existent gw ga ada gunanya di dunia... blah blah blah... and all those negative thoughts... gee!!! i cant believe my self sumtimes...
how can a person like me, ngaku klo gw adalah christian?? so negative...
but, probably, karena gw ini so negative, therefore i'm a christian coz i need Christ more than anything else in this world... bersyukur bgt gw bisa kenal Tuhan... Tuhan yg sumbernya hope, sumber love, sumbernya justice, sumbernya everything!! :)

blank... ga tw lagi mo nulis apa... my small brain's too overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts in my little head... so, i guess.... gw bakal stop di sini deh... en hopefully i'll stop thinking negatively by stop writing about negative thoughts... :p

Graduation

Yep, as you can see from the title...
It's gonna be about the graduation that i have attended yesterday... 12.12.07
Most of my friends were graduated yesterday... and i'm so happy for them...
For they have achieved what they were trying to achieve in the past 3 years...
which is to gain "Bsc." to be written at the back of their names... :p
It was an amazing experience and is a privilege for me to attend their graduation ceremony...

Somehow, to see them graduated keeps me to focus on my goal, which is to graduate next year!! ^_^ i've gotta keep the fire burning... jia you!!!

PS. after all that, what's next?? job? work? further study? only God knows... and it's our part to decide the next step and to strive for the best! :)

thanks to the Lord...

Today... this very morning... my results were released...
and i didnt really have anyone to share my happiness with after i've checked the results...
So i sent msgs to my mum and my friends...
But first of all... I thank God for the results He has given me....
I thanked Him for His guidance along this whole year... esp. the last semester...
I know very well, that it's not my own work...
If God hadn't interfere at all, i wont get these marks....
So, once again... Thank You, Father... :)

random thought of the day

How many times have u seen a beautiful woman
and fall for her look...
Then, u've juz realised she's not as pretty as her look,
when u see her attitude??

it's a pity... :S

lessons from a humble pencil

5 Important Lessons to learn from a humble pencil

1st. it tells u that everything u do will always leave a mark

2nd. u can always correct the mistakes u make

3rd. what is important is what is inside u and not outside of u

4th. in life u will undergo painful sharpenings which will make u better in what u do

lastly 5th. to be the best u can be, u must allow urself to be held and guided by the hand that holds u. have a blessed day my dear friends

successful life1

havent been writing much about my life lately... hehehe :p
yea, i kindda busy these weeks, coz exam is coming....
and guess what, i also have an assignment to do!!

Aniwei...
lagi rada melo... banyak mikir2...
kmrn ini, di greja, Ko Dj kotbah ttg successful life...
Tiap org pasti pengen sukses...
cuma masalahnya... apa sih artinya sukses??
apa jadi kaya itu bisa disebut sukses??
apa klo kita terkenal ato punya kuasa, baru disebut sukses??
hmm... ga gampang buat di-definisi-in emang...

buat gw, sukses itu ga berarti mengejar kekayaan, ketenaran, ato kekuasaan sebagai tujuan akhir hidup ini...
life's much more than that!!
so, apa sukses buat lu??

Don't regret

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

- Mark Twain

Everything was done for YOU!!

Before the world began, you were on His mind
And every tear you cry is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done, so you would come

Nothing you can do, could make Him love you more
And nothing that you’ve done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done, so you would come

Come to the father though your gift is small
Broken heats, broken lives, He will take them all
The power of the world of his blood
Everything was done so you would come

live it!! HERE.. NOW!!

(Thinking mode: ON)

Tiba2 keinget sharing temen gw kmrn...
Ttg sifat manusia yg sukanya buru2 nikmatin apa yg ada di depan (misalnya liburan yg masi 1 bulan lagi... balik indo yg masi 3 bulan lagi, etc)... en akibatnya, ga bener2 "konsen" aka hidup to the fullest saat present.. which is skrg!!
Karena pengen buru2 besok, pengen buru2 bulan depan, pengen buru2 taon depan, akhirnya kita sia2in HARI INI... Hari ini jadi di cuekin, ga bener2 dimanfaatin sebaik2nya, ga bener2 dinikmatin.. hari ini... berlalu gitu aja...

Gw jadi keinget ama pelajaran PMP wkt sd... selalu diajarin... selesein dulu tanggung jawab kita, baru tagih hak kita.... tp yg sering terjadi en gw lakuin adl, minta hak gw dulu, en tanggung jawab gw keteteran... -_-'''''

Yaahh berhubung pagi2 dah mikir kayak gini, i think i'd better not wasting my time now... mo mandi, cuci bj, kerjain at least 1 assignment.... Jia you nov!!! \\^0^//

love = sacrifice??

"sometimes we need to sacrifice for someone we love.. but sometimes it's really hard to do..."

I copied the quote above from my friend's friendster...
I think it's soooo true!!

Yesterday, i've juz been faced to a reality....
I've known the theory very well... Love is a verb, it's an act...
Love is patient, love is unselfish, love is kind, love is blah blah blah...
I knew all that...
But!! i've never been really TO LOVE someone fully...
I've juz realised that... i've always loved my self more than anyone else, even God...
it is very very selfish and selfish isn't love...

Love is unselfish... unselfish means sumtimes we need to prepare to make sacrifices willingly... out of love... with no expectations... it means to put somebody else's interest before ours...
Again!! I knew all that.. but as what my friend said, it's not easy to do...
and that what makes to love is hard to do... and that's also what makes love is so precious and divine...

Sometimes, we want to love, but dont want to make any sacrifices...
keep putting ourselves as number 1...
But, yesterday, i was faced to choices... to choose, whether to make sacrifices to someone i love, to the One i love...
It came to me... that even God, shows His love by making sacrifice... the biggest sacrifice i've ever received... His own the only son... His own life... that is how much He loves me... that's how much He loves all of us... including YOU!!

Do you realise??

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don'-go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize

hate me

sebel!!!
klo lagi kayak gini, gw paling sebel...
dah tw tiap org punya keterbatasan...
dah tw klo gw ga perfect...
tp knp sih gw masi suka berharap klo gw bisa perfect....
tp knp gw masi suka berharap bisa menuhin keinginan smua org??
knp gw masi mencoba nyenengin hati smua org??
i even ignore myself sometimes...

sebel...
hate myself sometimes... :(

power of thoughts

so... yep, i've watched the most talked topic "The Secret"...
Now... when i think about it... if there's nothing i couldnt do with my thoughts, that means everything is possible... NOTHING is ImPoSSiBLe!! rite??

So, what would i be thinking to make this world become a better place to live??
(I've juz told u my thoughts.. :p)
What would YOU be thinking??

be a light

Tired...
Sometimes i'm sick of this life...
Sometimes, juz wanna run away
Hide... in darkness...
So no one can find me...
Leave me alone...
in my loneliness...

They said,
nothing is eternal in this world...
but They said,
LOVE is...
So, i'm searching...
reaching for the Love...
and when i found Love,
I wanna share it with the world...

Then, i started to crawl out of the darkness...
Get out from my hiding place...
Stop from running away...
I juz wanna be,
a light...

your presence...

Your presence in my life...
sumtimes makes me lonelier than ever...

Your presence in my life...
sumtimes makes me feel weaker than ever...
at times, i shed more tears than i ever shed...
and it also makes me feel dumber than ever...

Your presence...
sometimes i wish i'd never need it...
But your absence,
is the worst thing that i've ever wanted in my life...

PS. I want u to know, i miss u...

do u know??

Tau ga???
- gw lagi pengen makan green-tea ice cream neh!!!
- gw lagi males ngerjain assignments
- gw lagi kangen rumah
- gw lagi males makan... (maunya green tea ice cream....)
- gw lagi nungguin telpon dari temen, katanya mo nelp...
- gw lagi error kayaknya...

wakakak... ga penting ya?? tp lu ga tw kan??? makanya gw kasi tw... :p
ciao...

Gw mo bikin kopi susu dulu.... sapa tw craving green tea ice creamnya berkurang dikit... hehehe :p

Spring is coming!! ^_^

Yea, you've read the title... it's spring now.. but it's still cold...
Anyway... td gw ada group interview ama lecturers gw buat QA...
Untung it all went well... Thx God!! ^_^

Selese itu, gw pengen ngerjain tugas gw yg laen... ada Sci Project n Food preservation, tp kok rasanya males ya?? (penyakit lama.. hahaha)
So, gw decide buat baca2 blog gw lagi...
Hari ini, lagi berasa ga guna nih.. abisnya gw ngerasa cuma contribute sedikit ama tugas kelompok gw itu...
Tp gw coba belajar buat mikir positif aja lah.... hal kayak gini ga perlu dipikirin berlarut2... klo gw ngerasa kurang, yaa tinggal do more lah!! susah amet sih?! gitu aja kok di jadiin a big deal?!
iya ga??

Anyway... pas gw baca2 lagi postingan gw taon lalu... diliat2 gw dah banyak juga berubah... hehehe :p dulu tuh negatip thinking abis... skrg, mendingan lah... hehehe :p
En yg pasti, gw selalu ngerasa dikuatin seabis baca tulisan2 gw yg lama... coz i can see how God's hands guiding me all the way thru... beneran deh... klo ga ada Tuhan, gw ga tw jadi apa skrg... He has shaped me slowly... changed me...
Emang, ga gampang berubah totally, apa lagi dari yg jelek, ke yg baik... misalnya aja, penyakit males gw en suka nunda2 ini ga sembuh2... trus ga sabaran juga... trus kerasa kepala ga mo denger pendapat org, etc... Tapi gw coba keep in mind, smua butuh process... pelan2 gw bakal berubah lah... musti percaya ma diri gw juga... :)

Things that I've forgotten to be thankful for..

1) God's grace and love
2) My family
3) My true friends (not many of them, but u r one of 'em)
4) The air I breathe
5) The sun rays that lights into my room
6) The water i drank
7) The food i ate
8) To be able to hear laughter around me
9) To see his smile
10) and all the things that i couldnt think of now, but i'll realise how precious they are when they've gone...

God weeps with us

When we are happy or when we are blue;
God is aware of whatever we do;
All of our sorrows He takes as His own
and He will never leave us alone.
-Hess-

Walking Her Home- By Mark Schultz

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
-----------------------------------------------------------

Don't u juz love the lyrics?? i think it's a beautiful thing to be written... :)