if tomorrow never comes

Ok, I know you've heard it sumwhere... probably from a song sang by Ronan Keating??
But have you ever really thought about the message hidden behind this phrase??

Tonite, I have just come back from my high school friend's house...
Her mum has just passed away this morning... (Turut berduka cita yg sedalam2nya, Nis) :(
She told me what happened at the end of her mum's life...
She has been very ill for a while... and her condition has been pretty steady lately...
But this morning, her dad called her to come to the hospital to see her mum, coz she got worse... time is running short...
but my friend didn't know that... she took her time...
until it's too late for her to see her mum before she closes her eyes for the last time....
*sigh*
What can i say to console her??
Nothing much, really...
I've never been in this situation before, so she'd think that I wouldn't know how it feels....
I can only let her know, that she shouldn't blame herself for something she doesn't know is going to happen...

Then...
I thought of my own situation....
How have I treat my mum this morning??
It's definitely far from respect.... :(
I should be ashamed of myself... and I am now...
I think, God want to remind me... that second chance rarely comes twice... so I should grab any chances which lie in front of me as much as I could...
I would be really2 sorry to myself if tomorrow never comes... and I wouldn't be able to ask my mum's forgiveness and show her respect she deserves...

In the last couple of weeks, my mood is getting unstable....
I got pretty sensitive and annoyed by little things...
And to make situation worse, my voice is getting to its highest pitch pretty quickly too...
I don't know where I got that anger from, but I'm like a ticking bomb, just waiting to be ignited...
Today might be a reminder God sent me, so that I'll learn from it...
I've gone back to the old me... the ME who I used to hate... or the ME who used to hate myself...
who likes to take things for granted.... who doesn't know how to give thanks... who never satisfied on everything which has been given by God...
It's another reminder,
that life is short....
that we live this life only once...
that whatever we try to collect from this world is not eternal...
that every morning, we have a second chance to things differently and make a difference in people's lives...
that true friends are much more precious than gold or the newest trend or the coolest car
that life... isn't as bad as I used to think...
that by living, I'll get to know Him more... and get to appreciate Him and His creations more...

Thank you Lord for all the second chances you've given me....
Your presence each day is more than enough for me... Amen.

rainbow

Hey, I've got a question... When is the last time you saw a rainbow??
I'd proudly answer that question by saying, "This afternoon!!"...

Yep... today, I saw a rainbow.. After dropping my boss off, I looked up, and it was there!
I was trapped in a traffic, but it was worth it... I even had a time to glance back and saw the person in the car behind me was looking up and smiling that he can see the rainbow... :)

Yea... I haven't been enjoying the sky for quite a long time... I used to like to look up and amazed by what I found... sometimes it'll be a dark grey colour with many different shades.... or it can be reddish colour during sunset... or it can be pitch dark decorated by sparkling of the stars... The sky almost never look the same each day... I've always amazed by the creativity of the Creator... What a great Artist... :)

Something Beautiful (by Natalie Grant)

I heard this song played on the radio and somehow it really touched my heart... So, I wanna share it with all of you who I believe will find this song to be a blessing... Listen to the lyric carefully and know that it's true... God really loves you and me...

-------------------------------------------------------

This is a song for anyone whose ever been
Knocked down and can't get up again
Stuck in the corner, can't move forward
All alone and you think you're going nowhere
This is a song for anyone whose ever stood underneath the sun
And felt so small, two feet tall and so out of place

'Cause He sees you - He knows you - He loves you
And He wants you to know that

The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given
Were made for something beautiful
Life - don't let it pass you by
Because you were created for something beautiful

Heaven holds a dream that's just for you
And there are things only you can do
So step by faith, put the past away
It'll take you to a better day
Second to minute to hour to life
Time it always seems to fly
It's on the go and before you know
Your days are through

But he sees you - He knows you - He loves you
And he wants you to know that

The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given
Were made for something beautiful
Life - don't let it pass you by
Because you were created for something beautiful

What are - you waiting for
What are you - waiting for
What - are you waiting for
Something Beautiful
What are - you waiting for
What are you - waiting for
What are you waiting for
Something Beautiful!

Something Beautiful - Natalie Grant

who's gonna come to after you?

I think I haven't been writing for a while.... I mean I wrote something here.... but not like I used to... somehow, since what's happened last year, I became a different person....

Anyway, there's one thing I wanna write about, after watching a movie called "Passenger"...
At first, I thought it was either an action or a horror movie, but it turned out to be something a bit mysterious and dramatic as well...
I'm not gonna tell you what it's about, but one thing that stuck in my mind after watching that movie is...
Ok, I'm gonna tell u juz a bit of the movie so you would understand what I'm talking about.... There was a plane crashed and none of the passengers survived.... Some of them didn't realise that they are dead and they try to live their life as normal... until they got "picked-up" by the souls of their love ones who have passed away before them... For example, there's a girl whom her parents who died when she was 6, came to get her "home".... and there's a guy, whom his grandpa and his dog, came to take him "home" as well....

It's just, after watching it, my mind started to wonder.... who's gonna come after me when I die? Especially when I die first... that's mean no one will come and I'll be lost???
Stupid thinking, I know... but I couldn't help it... till all of a sudden, I remember...
I know someone will come... at least, there will be one person... if you know me, you know who I'm talking about.... Yep... I was reminded, that Jesus will be there... He'll walk me home.... and suddenly I'm in peace... :)

Hahaha... I know it's such a silly thought... but won't you feel good when at last you can be certain of it?? When at the end, when the time comes, you'll know who you're expecting to see.... you know you don't have to be afraid and you know that you have a good reason to be peaceful??

Masak.. Masak...

Hmm... lama juga ya gw ga nulis di blog ini...
Maklum, dah mayan sibuk skrg.... Walo ga jelas sih sibuk ngapain... hehehe :p

Klo ada yg notice n ngikutin perkembangan blog gw...
Belakangan gw ada nambah beberapa link yg isinya resep2 masakan...
Ga tw kenapa, belakangan gw mulai punya motivasi buat masuk dapur lagi n masak...
Rasanya dah hampir setaon gw ga masak proper... (klo masak indomie sih sering... wakakak)
Dan mulai skrg, gw make a pledge buat masak at least 1 masakan in a week...
Ga mo telalu ambisius.... ntar telalu banyak pengen nyoba resep ini-itu, akhirnya ga masak ama skali.. hahaha...

Jadi, ya gitu deh...
Maybe in the future, gw bakal share fotonya en resepnya skalian... :p
Masi ga pede neh ama masakan gw...
Org yg ga tau, mgkn kirain gw pelit, tiap masak ga mau bagi2....
But gw simply takut org laen ga suka... so far sih edible.... huehehe :p

Ya sud, gw cabut dulu deh... Ciao! ^________^

the paintbrush

I keep my paintbrush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.

I'm so afraid to show you,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.

So if you'll be patient and close you eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold.
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paintbrush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone don't understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paintbrush with me
Until I love me, too.

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I got this poems from a book called "A shot of inspiration" by Rob Buckingham.
The 1st time I read it, it really touched me... I can truly understand how the writer felt, coz I feel the same way too...

Sometimes it can be scary to let the real you show... but when there's someone love you enough, and you can trust that person enough to show who you really are... and yet that person would still love you no matter what they saw... I think, the heart pounding step of stripping our masks would be worth to go through...

But the question is, how would you know if they don't change their minds after seeing the real us? The real me...



PS: For those people who love me unconditionally, you are gifts that I don't deserve, but I'd cherish in my life... Thanks for being there for me when things getting though and when I need friends to share my laughter with... ;) you know who you are... all of u... Thank you...

white lies = black lies

Hmm... can't think of any better title for this posting...
(Btw, I wonder why I've always ended up writing in English.. padahal maunya dalam bahasa indo lohhh) hehehe :p

Yep, today I wanna write about lies....
Not wanting to judge anyone... juz a bit disappointed, coz lately I've been trying to hide and run away from the truth and light... And one of the easiest way to hide is by covering things with lies... No matter what kind of lies it is, white or black, they are all the same, they are lies... and i know it's wrong to lie, so why would I still do it then??
As I mentioned before, yes, it's easier to cover the truth and juz hide in those lies...
Ironically, lies can be comforting as well... coz we can run away from the main problem and the best thing is others won't know the truth if we don't tell them...

Can you remember the last time you lied??
Was is last year? Was it last month? Last week? Yesterday? Just now?!
Who did you lie to?
Do you remember how you feel??
I don't know with you, but I felt terrible after lying... Even though I wasn't lying, I didn't tell the truth... and it really bothers me.... I don't really realise and know, since when I let my self to accept that it's ok to lie...

One thing I know... and certain...
Lying is very tiring... it's addictive as well... coz once you tell a lie, you'll tell another one to cover the 1st lie, and you'll tell more to cover up every lies you've told...
And living like this is far from being peaceful...
So today, I promise my self that I would not try to run away by lying anymore...
It'll be best to tell the truth... or if I can't tell the truth, I'd better keep silent rather than telling a lie....
It might be scary, when you've done something wrong and admit it, rather than covering it up with a lie.... at least, when you're genuinely sorry and ask for forgiveness, you'll be forgiven and live in peace.... rather than hiding in the lies we've created and got trapped by them, never knowing we could've been forgiven if we asked for it...

Well, it's your choice...
Today, I've made my decision...
Now, it's your turn...