the old me? real me?

it's cloudy and raining outside... today's weather isn't my favourite...
btw, i really wanna write sumfin down, but i dont really have a particular topic to write about, so i guess i'll juz write whateva i wanna write.. lol ^0^

yeah, so, i've talked about the weather...
it's so windy today... i was planning to go out for lunch with my friend this afternoon, then i changed my mind... i thought, "nar, the weather is too rough, i'll juz stay at home today.."
hahaha... so i cancelled the lunch...

talking about the weather, my mood isn't too far from the weather...
i kindda mellow today.... started to go back to the old me... which i dont really like... :(
have tried so hard.... i've changed a bit, then, everything that i've been trying so hard for, juz changed back in a split of second by chance!! (well, not exactly by chance..)

sebel deh klo lagi kayak gini... smuanya bisa aja keliatan negativenya di mata gw... :(
even yg seharusnya positive pun, jadi negative... what's wrong with me???
kayaknya gw bener2 need a break... gw bener2 butuh wkt buat gw sendiri...
bener2 sendiri...
ga kebayang, gimana ada org yg tiap hari sibuk... gw baru keluar rumah berturut2 5 hari aja, dah kayak gini... ini juga cuma buat sementara... klo ada org yg harus live like this, gw bener2 ga kebayang how can that person live?! how can that person has a life?!
anyway... it's juz me yg lagi melo.... hahhaa... sudah lah, i'd better have some rest...
dah kebanyakan makan juga neh hari ini... not good... :( need some exercise... hehehe :p
nite everyone... :)

life's fragile...

Pengen bgt nulis ttg betapa rapuhnya hidup...
i'll try to make it short...

Sebenernya, dah kepikiran ttg topic ini dari kemaren...
ilhamnya dateng pas lagi maen drama....
ada satu temen gw, yg pas lagi meranin peran yg dibunuh, tiba2 dy ketakutan karena ngerasa bakal dibunuh beneran.... en tiba2 dy jadi mikirin.... en satu kalimat yg dia ucapin, yg bikin gw pengen nulis adalah... "Kayaknya gw blm siap buat mati..."

Yep! Kayaknya, ga ada seorang pun yg 100% siap buat mati... tp klo gw, at least, gw ga takut... karena gw percaya, gw bisa pegang janji yg Tuhan dah kasih.... i believe there's an after life...
Apa yg temen gw bilang, emang bener... dy bilang klo hidup ini, bener2 rapuh... kita ga pernah tw kapan kita bakal ga bernyawa, alias dead... sekarang kita bisa ketawa2, kita ga pernah tw klo bsknya kita bakal bersedih.... kita bisa ngejalanin rutinitas kita tiap hari, en kita ga pernah tw, klo mgkn aja hari esok ga pernah dateng lagi...

So, my point is... hidup ini rapuh.... jalanin hidup ini to the max.... lakuin sgala yg terbaik yg bisa kita lakuin... jgn cuma ngejar apa yg ada di dunia, karena toh akhirnya ga bakal bisa kita bawa en ga bisa di pake klo kita dah ga hidup di dunia ini... kejar lah yg lebih penting.... kejar Tuhan... kejar Kerajaan Allah... get to know The Truth... and one thing i can guarantee u, at least, lu tw, klo lu dah ga sia2in hidup lu...

keep in touch

Why is it so hard to keep in touch with a good friend???
Sometimes i wonder..
Like today, I've juz spent all my mobile credit to call my friends in Perth...
To be honest, i dont really care how much i spend....
For me, a friend is much more important than money...
and u cant buy a good friend...
i treasure a good friend so much...
But when it comes to the end of the month, when all bills are due,
when there are a lot to pay... much money to spend....
Sometimes i juz wonder...
Why is it so hard to keep in touch with a good friend??
Some say, a great treasure doesnt come easily, it needs a sacrifice...
and i really dont mind to sacrifice a little bit for my friends...
esp. a really good friend... :)

reminder for myself: be still...

Umm... ga tw mau nulis apa... too many things going on in my mind... and too much that i need to do... and guess what i really wanna do now??!
Honestly... i juz wanna be alone... and have sum time for myself... (if possible)...
Kayaknya belakangan gw dah telalu "sok" sibuk... hahaha...
I guess, sumtimes i tried so hard, when actually i dont really need to.... i dunno...
I'm juz trying to be the best that i can be, and give the best that i can give...

Hmm.. i guess i better go to sleep now... dah ngaret 30 menit dari rencana....
hahaha... good nite everyone... :)

kesibukan kuw...

Dah lama bgt ya gw ga nge-post... sebenernya dah lama gw pengen nge-post... tp blm ada wkt... en mlm ini, gw sempet2in... sebelom mood gw buat nulis ilang... hehehe :p

Gw dah selese exam minggu lalu, tepatnya pas seminggu yg lalu... gw kira, selese exam berarti banyak wkt luang, gw bakal nganggur kayak org bego yg ga tw musti ngapain... ternyata ga juga... ternyata, apa yg gw pikirin salah.... ternyata banyak hal yg bisa gw lakuin, en gw ended up sibuk pas minggu pertama liburan ini... :) sempet stress malah.. hahaha...
dah janji ini itu ama temen2.... belom ada satupun yg kesampean.... mgkn udah ada, tp baru sebagian kecil bgt... belakangan ini lagi sibuk nyiapin acara special peka rmit... can't wait till the D-day... and when it's all over.... hopefully i can get a good nite sleep again... :)

btw... ada beberapa topic yg pengen gw tulis... tp, sekarang ini blm sempet... :((
i'll write it down ASAP when i've got a time... so, so long for now... :)

is it coffee-effect??

*sigh*
Find myself can't sleep again tonite... it's 4am... and guess what?! i havent even touched my bed yet... i dunno why, i keep telling myself not to sleep... and so here i am... with eyes wide awake, tired body and mind.... but cant sleep.... i really should hold on to my words that i wouldnt drink anymore coffee except during the critical moment...
I think, i'd better study now.... and hopefully i'll be able to sleep soon, coz i'll be having a class tmrw... and i find that keep awake for too long is not good for my mind, since i started to think about unimportant things...

nitez everyone....

congratulation or book cover??

hmmm... if u read the title of this posting, u might think, "what's the relationship between congratulation and a book cover??".... actually, there are some topics that i'd like to write on tonite... but i wasn't sure which one i should write... so, i guess, i'll juz write both... hahaha... ^0^

The first topic.. "CONGRATULATION"...
I've been wanting to write this topic since this morning... i thought of it when i had my shower (as usual... hehehe :p)...
Suddenly, i was reminded to my friend when i was in junior high.... i still remember boldly the day when she told me that she has been dating a senior at school... well, this friend of mine was a close friend of mine when we were in the 1st grade, but afterwards, we grew apart... anyway, when i heard about the news, i didnt congratulate her... and guess what she said?? she asked me why i didnt congratulate her, so i did (juz becoz she asked me to.. lol)...

Well, i have some reasons for my act... firstly, i've met that senior once... and honestly, i didn't really like him... i mean, i dont think he can be a good boyfriend for my friend... they only knew each other for a very short time, and suddenly she told me they are dating already... so i thought that guy wasnt really wise... that's the first minus from me... the second reason, i didnt congratulate her is simply juz becoz i think there's nothing to be congratulate... as simple as that!
You might think, "are u blind, nov?? your friend found someone to love, it needs a congratulation.."... Honestly, i dont agree.. for me, i dont want to take back my words when they split up (which unfortunately, they were....)... There's no way i'm gonna congratulate them before their marriage..!! Sounds too serious, huh? hahaha... well, if u understand my reason, hopefully u'll understand my act...

For me, when two people are started dating or courtship, or whateva u wanna call it... there's nothing to be congratulate for, except for their courage to start to another stage of life... that's how i see it... to start dating doesnt mean they are going to live happily ever after... to start dating means they are brave enough to take more responsibilities in life... brave enough to learn to live more selflessly... the only thing i'll be congratulate for is their bravery to take the decision and be ready for all what lies on the way...

hmm... it's been a pretty long posting... so i guess i'll keep the "book cover" topic for next time then... ^_^

a 'perfect' day...

Today, i learned that how my life's gonna be depends on my decision how i'm going to live it...
hmmm... what a long sentence... let me break it down and make it simpler...
what i'm trying to say is... that how my life is going to be... whether it's going to be good or bad.... it doesnt depend on my circumtances... it is completely depend on my decision...

For example...
Everyone who knows me well enough knew that i often have a negative thinking out of everything... (an attitude that i've been working on to change)... i can always complaining about anything... but... today, i'm tired of all that.... i've decided that today is going to be a good day... i have decided, nothing is going to erase the joy in my heart... i've decided that i'll be happy today... and guess what?! i did!!! i was happy... and i'm still happy... :) (doesnt mean i'm not worry bout my exam tmrw)...

This morning, i woke up as planned... but i left home a bit later that what i planned.... but it's ok, i told myself... then, once i was out of the apartment, the tram arrived... what a good timing... but then i missed the 2nd tram... i have 2 choices.. to let tram ruin my mood, or to be happy to walk... look at the bright side, at least i had a chance to exercise... :) then, i studied in library... found a good spot... had a good lunch... got a block of chocolate from my friend who stopped by... then when i went home, the rain fall juz after i got on the tram... and guess what?! juz before i got off the tram, the rain stopped!! I would say, it's a "perfect" day for me!! :) coz i've chosen to make it "perfect"...

well, enough of the story... i'd better start studying for tmrw... and make another "perfect" day... :)

kiss

Berapa kali pun gw ntn video klip ini, rasanya ga pernah bosen....
esp. wkt lagi butuh refreshing sebelom exam... hehehe :p
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Father's love letter for you...

When i cleaned up my room, i found this love letter...
The love letter from the Father... for me... for u... for all of us...
--------------------------------------------------

missing u..

Within you I lose myself...
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again.
------------------------------

Love this quote... got it sumwhere from the net, juz before my 1st exam... >_<
aww!!! miss ya all... miss all those moments...

one step at a time...

Nothing in life is too big.
Just break it down into smaller steps.
You can achieve anything, one step at a time.
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I assume most of us are busy with preparation for exams...
and i think "stress" isn't an uncommon word between us...
if u think u're too stressed and cant cope with it anymore,
why dont u take a break for a while and read this article...
Hopefully it's going to help u a lil bit and afterwards u'll be ready to revise the next chapter in your textbook! ;)

Shift happens...

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. --Charles Darwin

rubbish??

have u ever go back and read what u have written in the past??
like a diary, or maybe some old letters, or maybe older posting in your blog??
sumtimes, i can laugh at my silliness in the past...
or sumtimes, i can also learn from my past experiences...
but sumtimes, i regret what i have wrote...
i might wrote sumfin which seems right at that time,
but a moment later... when i go back and read it, they're all make me seem stupid...
or contradict what im doing in the future...
which means i cant keep my own words...
and now i'm wondering....
are all those postings that i've written juz going to be rubbish in the future??

cant sleep tonite

ga tw kenapa... gw ga bisa tidur malem ini... padahal i'm pretty sure klo gw tuh capek bgt.... rasanya pengen lgs tdr aja di tmp tdr, but there's sumfin that keeps me from falling asleep... even ngobrol ma temen di telp, ga bikin gw a lil bit more comfortable.... gw paling sebel klo dah kayak gini... perasaan yg paling nyebelin... karena bikin gw ga bisa tidur, sedangkan gw paling suka tdr!!!

maybe it's time for me to go back to Him and talk to Him...
there's no other way...
when i started to get lost,
and when everything looks blur...
i know that's the time when i have to go back...