my thoughts...

Nasib pengangguran.... ga ada kerjaan, jadi banyak mikir... ga tw mo ngapain, akhirnya isenk nulis buah2 pikiran gw di blog... moga2 ga ada yg baca.... (tp klo ga mau di baca, knp di post??! doesn't make sense... emang dasar manusia ga jelas...) hwawawa...

aniwei... gw cerita deh hari ini gw ngapain aja...
sebenernya ga ngapa2in sih... cuma ngurusin surat2 buat perpanjang visa... trus cari2 kerja juga... (but what's the point klo in a month gw bakal balik indo?? niwei, tetep aja gw browse2 kerjaan biar ga keliatan pengangguran bgt... so pathetic, isnt it??)
trus, pegi dinner di resto jepang sumwhere di sth yarra... (bener ga ya?? hueehhe :p lupa)
the dinner was great.... dalam rangka ultah soni (ke-26)... (thx ya son ^_^)
then, i got home.... trus, mulai deh ga tw mo ngapain.... gw coba telp co gw, tp didnt really help, berhubung dy masi kesel ama gw... hahaha... salah gw juga sih, maen ngebatalin "janji" tanpa alesan yg jelas.... (pesen gw buat yg kirain pacaran itu obat buat ngilangin kesepian... u r totally wrong!! klo kesepian, cari temen!! bukan ce ato co!!)...
aniwei, lalu gw duduk depan komputer... buka internet, en cek friendster... trus liat foto2 temen2 en sodara gw... dan pikiran gw mulai deh melayang...

pas ngeliat foto ci cen2 n koko... mulai mikir...
"so sweet..."
"haahaha.... these two people are in love..."
"it's wonderful how God helped two hearts to find each other's half..."
pokoknya intinya ngiri deh.... (ngiri dalem artian positif loh tpnya)... ngiri yg seneng juga ngeliat mereka bedua look happy in the photos...

trus...
liat profile dd gw... hmmm... Linda... what can i say about her??
"ck ck ck... dd gw dah gede ya?? ga berasa.... hahaha... (bitter laugh)"
"miss her actually... but i knew... klo ketemu pasti bakal berantem kayak biasa... hahaha (another bitter laugh)"
kenapa ya?? gw gengsian bgt jadi org??
when i love someone, bukannya gw berusaha nunjukin, gw bakalan mati2an nutupin perasaan gw... hahaha... dasar manusia aneh... it's not a sin to show love to the ones u love, you know?!
sumtimes i wonder... kapan ya gw bisa belajar jadi sahabat buat dd2 gw?? not being the annoying big sister... :( sedih juga sih... hahaha (one more bitter laugh)...

i guess gw lagi rada mellow nih... lagi down... ngerasa jadi org yg ga bener.... apa2 ga becus...
ga bisa nyenengin org laen... sll nyusahin org laen... existent gw ga ada gunanya di dunia... blah blah blah... and all those negative thoughts... gee!!! i cant believe my self sumtimes...
how can a person like me, ngaku klo gw adalah christian?? so negative...
but, probably, karena gw ini so negative, therefore i'm a christian coz i need Christ more than anything else in this world... bersyukur bgt gw bisa kenal Tuhan... Tuhan yg sumbernya hope, sumber love, sumbernya justice, sumbernya everything!! :)

blank... ga tw lagi mo nulis apa... my small brain's too overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts in my little head... so, i guess.... gw bakal stop di sini deh... en hopefully i'll stop thinking negatively by stop writing about negative thoughts... :p

Graduation

Yep, as you can see from the title...
It's gonna be about the graduation that i have attended yesterday... 12.12.07
Most of my friends were graduated yesterday... and i'm so happy for them...
For they have achieved what they were trying to achieve in the past 3 years...
which is to gain "Bsc." to be written at the back of their names... :p
It was an amazing experience and is a privilege for me to attend their graduation ceremony...

Somehow, to see them graduated keeps me to focus on my goal, which is to graduate next year!! ^_^ i've gotta keep the fire burning... jia you!!!

PS. after all that, what's next?? job? work? further study? only God knows... and it's our part to decide the next step and to strive for the best! :)

thanks to the Lord...

Today... this very morning... my results were released...
and i didnt really have anyone to share my happiness with after i've checked the results...
So i sent msgs to my mum and my friends...
But first of all... I thank God for the results He has given me....
I thanked Him for His guidance along this whole year... esp. the last semester...
I know very well, that it's not my own work...
If God hadn't interfere at all, i wont get these marks....
So, once again... Thank You, Father... :)

random thought of the day

How many times have u seen a beautiful woman
and fall for her look...
Then, u've juz realised she's not as pretty as her look,
when u see her attitude??

it's a pity... :S

lessons from a humble pencil

5 Important Lessons to learn from a humble pencil

1st. it tells u that everything u do will always leave a mark

2nd. u can always correct the mistakes u make

3rd. what is important is what is inside u and not outside of u

4th. in life u will undergo painful sharpenings which will make u better in what u do

lastly 5th. to be the best u can be, u must allow urself to be held and guided by the hand that holds u. have a blessed day my dear friends

successful life1

havent been writing much about my life lately... hehehe :p
yea, i kindda busy these weeks, coz exam is coming....
and guess what, i also have an assignment to do!!

Aniwei...
lagi rada melo... banyak mikir2...
kmrn ini, di greja, Ko Dj kotbah ttg successful life...
Tiap org pasti pengen sukses...
cuma masalahnya... apa sih artinya sukses??
apa jadi kaya itu bisa disebut sukses??
apa klo kita terkenal ato punya kuasa, baru disebut sukses??
hmm... ga gampang buat di-definisi-in emang...

buat gw, sukses itu ga berarti mengejar kekayaan, ketenaran, ato kekuasaan sebagai tujuan akhir hidup ini...
life's much more than that!!
so, apa sukses buat lu??

Don't regret

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

- Mark Twain

Everything was done for YOU!!

Before the world began, you were on His mind
And every tear you cry is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done, so you would come

Nothing you can do, could make Him love you more
And nothing that you’ve done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done, so you would come

Come to the father though your gift is small
Broken heats, broken lives, He will take them all
The power of the world of his blood
Everything was done so you would come

live it!! HERE.. NOW!!

(Thinking mode: ON)

Tiba2 keinget sharing temen gw kmrn...
Ttg sifat manusia yg sukanya buru2 nikmatin apa yg ada di depan (misalnya liburan yg masi 1 bulan lagi... balik indo yg masi 3 bulan lagi, etc)... en akibatnya, ga bener2 "konsen" aka hidup to the fullest saat present.. which is skrg!!
Karena pengen buru2 besok, pengen buru2 bulan depan, pengen buru2 taon depan, akhirnya kita sia2in HARI INI... Hari ini jadi di cuekin, ga bener2 dimanfaatin sebaik2nya, ga bener2 dinikmatin.. hari ini... berlalu gitu aja...

Gw jadi keinget ama pelajaran PMP wkt sd... selalu diajarin... selesein dulu tanggung jawab kita, baru tagih hak kita.... tp yg sering terjadi en gw lakuin adl, minta hak gw dulu, en tanggung jawab gw keteteran... -_-'''''

Yaahh berhubung pagi2 dah mikir kayak gini, i think i'd better not wasting my time now... mo mandi, cuci bj, kerjain at least 1 assignment.... Jia you nov!!! \\^0^//

love = sacrifice??

"sometimes we need to sacrifice for someone we love.. but sometimes it's really hard to do..."

I copied the quote above from my friend's friendster...
I think it's soooo true!!

Yesterday, i've juz been faced to a reality....
I've known the theory very well... Love is a verb, it's an act...
Love is patient, love is unselfish, love is kind, love is blah blah blah...
I knew all that...
But!! i've never been really TO LOVE someone fully...
I've juz realised that... i've always loved my self more than anyone else, even God...
it is very very selfish and selfish isn't love...

Love is unselfish... unselfish means sumtimes we need to prepare to make sacrifices willingly... out of love... with no expectations... it means to put somebody else's interest before ours...
Again!! I knew all that.. but as what my friend said, it's not easy to do...
and that what makes to love is hard to do... and that's also what makes love is so precious and divine...

Sometimes, we want to love, but dont want to make any sacrifices...
keep putting ourselves as number 1...
But, yesterday, i was faced to choices... to choose, whether to make sacrifices to someone i love, to the One i love...
It came to me... that even God, shows His love by making sacrifice... the biggest sacrifice i've ever received... His own the only son... His own life... that is how much He loves me... that's how much He loves all of us... including YOU!!

Do you realise??

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don'-go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize

hate me

sebel!!!
klo lagi kayak gini, gw paling sebel...
dah tw tiap org punya keterbatasan...
dah tw klo gw ga perfect...
tp knp sih gw masi suka berharap klo gw bisa perfect....
tp knp gw masi suka berharap bisa menuhin keinginan smua org??
knp gw masi mencoba nyenengin hati smua org??
i even ignore myself sometimes...

sebel...
hate myself sometimes... :(

power of thoughts

so... yep, i've watched the most talked topic "The Secret"...
Now... when i think about it... if there's nothing i couldnt do with my thoughts, that means everything is possible... NOTHING is ImPoSSiBLe!! rite??

So, what would i be thinking to make this world become a better place to live??
(I've juz told u my thoughts.. :p)
What would YOU be thinking??

be a light

Tired...
Sometimes i'm sick of this life...
Sometimes, juz wanna run away
Hide... in darkness...
So no one can find me...
Leave me alone...
in my loneliness...

They said,
nothing is eternal in this world...
but They said,
LOVE is...
So, i'm searching...
reaching for the Love...
and when i found Love,
I wanna share it with the world...

Then, i started to crawl out of the darkness...
Get out from my hiding place...
Stop from running away...
I juz wanna be,
a light...

your presence...

Your presence in my life...
sumtimes makes me lonelier than ever...

Your presence in my life...
sumtimes makes me feel weaker than ever...
at times, i shed more tears than i ever shed...
and it also makes me feel dumber than ever...

Your presence...
sometimes i wish i'd never need it...
But your absence,
is the worst thing that i've ever wanted in my life...

PS. I want u to know, i miss u...

do u know??

Tau ga???
- gw lagi pengen makan green-tea ice cream neh!!!
- gw lagi males ngerjain assignments
- gw lagi kangen rumah
- gw lagi males makan... (maunya green tea ice cream....)
- gw lagi nungguin telpon dari temen, katanya mo nelp...
- gw lagi error kayaknya...

wakakak... ga penting ya?? tp lu ga tw kan??? makanya gw kasi tw... :p
ciao...

Gw mo bikin kopi susu dulu.... sapa tw craving green tea ice creamnya berkurang dikit... hehehe :p

Spring is coming!! ^_^

Yea, you've read the title... it's spring now.. but it's still cold...
Anyway... td gw ada group interview ama lecturers gw buat QA...
Untung it all went well... Thx God!! ^_^

Selese itu, gw pengen ngerjain tugas gw yg laen... ada Sci Project n Food preservation, tp kok rasanya males ya?? (penyakit lama.. hahaha)
So, gw decide buat baca2 blog gw lagi...
Hari ini, lagi berasa ga guna nih.. abisnya gw ngerasa cuma contribute sedikit ama tugas kelompok gw itu...
Tp gw coba belajar buat mikir positif aja lah.... hal kayak gini ga perlu dipikirin berlarut2... klo gw ngerasa kurang, yaa tinggal do more lah!! susah amet sih?! gitu aja kok di jadiin a big deal?!
iya ga??

Anyway... pas gw baca2 lagi postingan gw taon lalu... diliat2 gw dah banyak juga berubah... hehehe :p dulu tuh negatip thinking abis... skrg, mendingan lah... hehehe :p
En yg pasti, gw selalu ngerasa dikuatin seabis baca tulisan2 gw yg lama... coz i can see how God's hands guiding me all the way thru... beneran deh... klo ga ada Tuhan, gw ga tw jadi apa skrg... He has shaped me slowly... changed me...
Emang, ga gampang berubah totally, apa lagi dari yg jelek, ke yg baik... misalnya aja, penyakit males gw en suka nunda2 ini ga sembuh2... trus ga sabaran juga... trus kerasa kepala ga mo denger pendapat org, etc... Tapi gw coba keep in mind, smua butuh process... pelan2 gw bakal berubah lah... musti percaya ma diri gw juga... :)

Things that I've forgotten to be thankful for..

1) God's grace and love
2) My family
3) My true friends (not many of them, but u r one of 'em)
4) The air I breathe
5) The sun rays that lights into my room
6) The water i drank
7) The food i ate
8) To be able to hear laughter around me
9) To see his smile
10) and all the things that i couldnt think of now, but i'll realise how precious they are when they've gone...

God weeps with us

When we are happy or when we are blue;
God is aware of whatever we do;
All of our sorrows He takes as His own
and He will never leave us alone.
-Hess-

Walking Her Home- By Mark Schultz

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
-----------------------------------------------------------

Don't u juz love the lyrics?? i think it's a beautiful thing to be written... :)

the power of love

Yesterday, when i was talking with my friend, she suddenly asked me about that...

"Hey novy, if u are given a power, what power do u wanna have?"

And since we were joking around, i didnt give a long thought before i answer that question... but i've been thinking about it quite often... if i can have a power, i'd like to have a POWER OF LOVE... my friend wasnt quite satisfied with my answer, coz she's expecting an answer like power to control ppl's mind, or power to control time, etc...

Anyway, it's juz an intro about what i wanna write...
Now, when i think about it... i dont need the word "IF" anymore... coz i do have that power, all of us do!! We all have the power of love, it's juz sumtimes we dont realise it and never really make a use of it...
If you know what the power of love can do, u will be amaze on how this power works...
Well, i'm not an expert... coz i'm still learning and getting to know how to use this power... but as far as i knew, this power is great!!! I can use it to mend lots of hearts... It's amazing how u can share this power too!! and the important thing is, everybody needs it...

This power is eternal... It reminds me on a bible passage which says, "Love never fails"... and it's true!! That's why, if i need to choose and pick a power, i will definitely will choose "power of love", coz of course i want a power that can last forever... and a power which can be beneficial to others as well (not only to myself)...

So, the question goes to you.... If u can pick a power, what power will u choose?? and how r u goin to use it??

Seperti yang Kau ingini

Sebatang bambu yang indah tumbuh di halaman rumah seorang petani. Batang bambu ini tumbuh tinggi menjulang di antara batang-batang bambu lainnya. Suatu hari datanglah sang petani yang empunya pohon bambu itu.

Dia berkata kepada batang bambu," Wahai bambu, maukah engkau kupakai untuk menjadi pipa saluran air, yang sangat berguna untuk mengairi sawahku?"Batang bambu menjawabnya, "Oh tentu aku mau bila dapat berguna bagi engkau, Tuan. Tapi ceritakan apa yang akan kau lakukan untuk membuatku menjadi pipa saluran air itu."

Sang petani menjawab, "Pertama, aku akan menebangmu untuk memisahkan engkau dari rumpunmu yang indah itu. Lalu aku akan membuang cabang-cabangmu yang dapat melukai orang yang memegangmu. Setelah itu aku akan membelah-belah engkau sesuai dengan keperluanku. Terakhir aku akan membuang sekat-sekat yang ada di dalam batangmu, supaya air dapat mengalir dengan lancar. Apabila aku sudah selesai dengan pekerjaanku, engkau akan menjadi pipa yang akan mengalirkan air untuk mengairi sawahku sehingga padi yang kutanam dapat tumbuh dengan subur.

"Mendengar hal ini, batang bambu lama terdiam.....,

(Lanjutan cerita, klik di sini --> Seperti yang Kau ingini)

Trials...

When trials come on our way, bear in mind that:

We learn lessons in the "school of suffering"
that we can learn in no other way...

and do remember that:

God's whisper of comfort
quiets the noise of our trials...


"I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction,
and He answered me." (Jonah 2 : 2)

The "RoseMan"

Here's a story about an 85-years old man, giving out roses to everyone in town for FREE!!
And he's doing it becoz he thinks ppl deserve it... ppl deserve to enjoy the beauty of the petals and they deserve to know that somebody cares about them... :)

Pls have a look at the new report by clicking on the link below...
The Rose Man

For me, it shows that roses arent juz flowers.... they're tools to bring happiness and joy to others... ^_^
Maybe not everyone like flowers, but i do believe that no one will ever reject the flowers which are given out of generousity...

Who do u trust??

Percayalah kepada Tuhan dengan segenap hatimu,
dan janganlah bersandar kepada pengertianmu sendiri.
Akuilah Dia dalam segala lakumu,
maka Ia akan meluruskan jalanmu.
(Amsal 3:5-6)

Sehat??

If u knew me well, u'll know that i've alwayz got a lot of things goin on in my mind...
and at this moment, i'm thinking about my tummy... i think i'm a bit unwell...

*switch to Indo*

Iya nih, semalem gw ketiduran en lupa buat dinner... subuh2 kebangun dengan perasaan yg ga enak, ternyata gw baru sadar klo gw kelaperan.. huehehe :p
Tp gw males bangun, jadi lanjutin tidur lagi.... bangun2 dah siang, en gw masi juga males buat keluar kamar... so, gw ended up makanin makanan yg ada di kamar gw, yg notabene cuma cemilan2 yg ga sehat... trus, akhirnya gw decide buat keluar kamar buat cari makan yg proper, eeehh gw melihat sekotak susu coklat, en gw malah berakhir dengan minum sekotak susu itu sebagai makan siang gw... alhasil, perut gw ga enak skrg... bayangin aja, dah malem dah berisi angin, trus ditambah makanan ringan yg biasanya nambahin kadar angin, trus minum susu coklat dingin yg nambah jumlah angin di perut... en skrg, gw jadi kembung ga jelas gini...

Ternyata, hidup sehat itu emang ga mudah... apalagi klo kemalasan itu dipiara.. huehehe :p
Ya udah deh, sekian dulu celoteh ga penting gw ini... enjoy your lunch!! ^_^

Brand new day

Yes!! Another brand new day in August...
Kayaknya semangat gw dah balik lagi setelah puas tidur semalem...
I was soooo tired, that jam 9.30an aja gw dah tdr!!! (jarang2 gw bisa tdr sepagi itu), en hampir tdr selama 10jam!! hahaha... sleep like a baby...

Semoga semangatnya bener2 balik deh, even at uni... (biasanya kan klo di rumah semangat, sampe kelas, malesnya kambuh) hehehe :p
Ya sudah..... juz wanna say good morning to everyone!! ^_^
Have a good day!!! GBU all....

slacker...

Hehehe... seperti judul blognya, begitu lah gw sekarang... lagi rada slacking...
dah tw banyak tugas, malah masi enak2 nyantai2 en maen2...

Bingung nih...
Kenapa penyakit melo2 en males gw kambuh lagi??
Kayaknya perlu didoain deh... hahaha...
Klo kata nykp gw, perlu dikasi "obat rajin", makan "pil ga males", etc...
hahaha... emang, si mama mah suka becanda deh... :p
Apa gara2 weather yg winter gini ya?? bikin apa2 jadi ga niat...
ato gara2 makan n tidur ga teratur??
Sudahlah... ga penting neh postingan... hahaha....

Benci!!! Benci!!!

Pernah ga sih?? Kesel sendiri?? kayaknya gw aja sih yg lagi sensi.... tp bener2 ngeselin bgt, klo kita lagi kesel en org2 ga tw... (bagi gw loh ya...)
Makanya... itu lah jeleknya gw... klo lagi kesel, paling suka bikin org laen ikut kesel juga... jadi gw punya temen gt... huehehe :p

Kayak skrg... gw tuh lagi kesel bgt... sebenernya cuma gara2 masalah sepele...
Mgkn ada yg kirain, gara2 HD gw rusak... sebenernya bukan itu masalah utamanya... gw juga ga tw gw kesel ama apa ato sama sapa... tp yg pasti gw lagi bad mood aja... en klo lagi bad mood, smua2nya keliatan negatip aja di mata gw...

Td gw nelp temen gw... ceritanya, gw pengen numpahin ke-kesel-an gw... tp gw ended up kesel ama dy... trus gw juga jadi kesel ama diri ndiri juga... karena gw dah ingkarin janji ke diri sendiri buat bisa ngontrol emosi gw... but i juz cant help it!! Klo kesel, rasanya pengen ngedumel aja... tp gw tw, klo gw ngedumel ga jelas, yg ada bukannya gw feel better, tp malah tanpa sadar gw bakal nyakitin ato nyinggung org laen... en gw ga mo itu terjadi... makanya gw serba salah...

Duhh... Tuhan...
Tolong nv donk...

(hosh..hosh..) istirahat bentar...
udahlah... gw ngerjain tugas dulu aja.. daripada ngedumel ga jelas... :p
hopefully, by besok, gw dah bisa senyum lagi... :))
Karena gw yakin, banyak hal baik yg dah menanti.. en i dont wanna miss it by kesel terus2an..

Love (= kasih)

Sebenernya gw lagi cari bacaan yg laen... then gw stumbled on this reading...

"... jika aku tidak mempunyai kasih, aku sama sekali tidak berguna....
Kasih itu sabar;
kasih itu murah hati;
ia tidak cemburu.
Ia tidak memegahkan diri dan tidak sombong.
Ia tidak melakukan yang tidak sopan dan tidak mencari keuntungan diri sendiri.
Ia tidak pemarah dan tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain.
Ia tidak bersukacita karena ketidakadilan, tetapi karena kebenaran.
Ia menutupi segala sesuatu, percaya segala sesuatu, sabar menanggung segala sesuatu.
Kasih tidak berkesudahan..."

Bikin gw jadi mikir... selama ini... sudahkah gw mengasihi??
(ternyata kriteria kasih tuh banyak euy..)

Psalm 32:8

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye."
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Aku hendak mengajar dan menunjukkan kepadamu
jalan yang harus kautempuh;
Aku hendak memberi nasihat,
mataKu tertuju kepadamu."

Yes 55:8

"Sebab rancanganKu bukanlah rancanganmu,
dan jalanmu bukanlah jalanKu,
demikianlah firman TUHAN."
------------------------------------------------

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

emotion

Duhh....
Belakangan susah ngontrol emosi... not a good sign for the beginning of the semester...
belom2 gw dah stres... masa uni baru mulai 3 hari, gw dah punya tugas... banyak pula! Rasanya masi ga rela buat ninggalin masa hura2 wkt liburan... hahaha...

Belakangan, kayaknya gw kecapekan deh...
Gw butuh "break".... (padahal barusan aja liburan)
perlu bertapa di gunung kali ya??
ato menyendiri di tepi pantai?? (dingin2 gini ke pantai??)
hahaha...
Really missed those peaceful times...
Abisnya, belakangan gw suka sok sibuk ndiri...
suka ga ada wkt buat renungan...
ga ada wkt buat bener2 spend time buat diri ndiri...
(tp apa menyendiri itu jawaban yg paling pas buat masalah gw?)

Gw jadi suka marah2 ndiri...
suka sensi...
diajak ngomong baek2, bales bentak...
suka neting ama org..
and the worst is hating my self...

Nooo!!! not a good start for the semester...
have to change!!!

Call On Jesus

by Nicole C. Mullen

Verse 1:
I'm so very ordinary, nothing special on my own.
Oh, I have never walked on water,
And I have never calmed a storm.
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark

Chorus:
But when I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call

Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
Little widow mother, you're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you--

Bridge:
Call Him in the mornin', in the afternoon time
Late in the evenin' He'll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said
He'll be there

Chorus (2x)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Buat yg ga pernah denger lagunya... mungkin lyric di atas ga berarti apa2...
walo gw baru pernah denger ini lagu sekali doank, it means a lot to me...
soalnya "tiba2" ini lagu diputer di radio yg lagi gw denger... en tepat di saat gw lagi feel discouraged...
gw diingetin lagi klo "thru Him, all things are possible... and i only need to count on Him..."
it really feels like He was talking to me thru the song lyric... He knows what i'm going thru and He'll be there... :)

List kata2 yg lagi ada di kepala gw

• dont u hate it??
• males neh..
• dingin...
• ga boleh nyerah...
• juz give ur best
• it will be alrite in the end
• trust Him
• you're loved
• dont be too hard on yourself
• jangan males!!!
• ayo! get up! and move! move! move!
• NATO!!

udah ah... listnya ga bakal berenti... hahaha... segini dulu list ga penting ini... lagi isenk doank :p

We see in part; God sees the whole

There's so much now i cannot see,
my eyesight's far too dim,
but come what may, I'll simply trust
and leave it all to Him
(Overton)

Libur telah berakhir!!!

Hari berlalu satu demi satu
tak terasa smua terlewati begitu saja
Keping-keping yang kukumpulkan
masi belum tersusun sempurna
tapi waktu yang kupunya tak banyak

Aku terus terpusat pada satu hal
tanpa kusadari, hal lain mulai bermunculan
kini ku tak tau mana yang harus kudahulukan
Ku masih terus mengumpulkan keping-keping itu
dan tak kugubris hal yang lain

Waktu terus bergulir
tak banyak yang tersisa
Dan ku masih terus mencoba
kumpulkan keping-keping yang sama
untuk jadikannya utuh sempurna

(intinya sih... "TIDAK!!!! Liburan dah abis!!!") >_<

A letter to A friend

Sobat, lama gw ga nulis buat lu...
Even skrg gw nulis pun, ada kemungkinan lu ga bakal baca...
All i wanna say is "i'm sorry"...
emang, kedengarannya enteng bgt...
dah ngelakuin kesalahan, tinggal minta maaf aja...
tp sebenernya ga segampang itu...
Walo gw dah minta maaf dengan mulut gw.. tp gw prefer buat nulis ke lu...
I really meant what i said...

Gw tw, gw sering bikin lu kesel...
dengan alesan2 yg sebenernya kekanak2an...
en gw tw, lu dah capek ati ama gw... (hahaha...)
Tapi, penyesalan emang selalu dateng terlambat...
gw selalu nyadar, setelah gw dah terlanjur bikin lu bete...
en nothing i could do to fix it, coz i'm juz to arrogant to admit that i was wrong...

Ada satu pertanyaan yg gw ga berani tanyain,
karena gw ga berani denger jawabannya...
Sempet terbersit dipikiran gw,
"Have u ever thought about how different your life would be without me?"
Is your life gonna be so much better??
Mgkn lu bisa bilang, gw cuma suka mikir negatif...
tp, kalo diliat2, yg bisa gw bawa ke hidup lu cuma lah kesuraman...
(lagi negatip thinkin' nih ceritanya..)
Sometimes, i thought, it'll be much better for u if u never knew me...
if i've never turned up in your life...
But again...
gw ga berhak mikir kayak gitu...
sapa gw??
Satu hal yg bisa gw pegang,
Tuhan tempatin lu di hidup gw,
en gw di hidup lu...
there must be something He has planned for us..
and God always plan something good...
so, the reason that lies behind my existence should be something good as well...

Anyway, segitu dulu isi curhat gw buat lu...
Di mana pun lu berada, i wish u well...
And i'll always pray for u,
coz u r one of the most valuable gift that God has given me... ^_^

Thank you for being my friend...
-your friend-

Hey, i've never thought that i'd be busier during the holiday than during the school time... but yeah, that's what happen now...
Gw hampir ga pernah sempet males2an, ada aja yg musti dikerjain en bikin gw musti keluar rumah... pengen deh, sehariiii aja ndiri, enjoying my own time for self only... without having to worry bout anything else...
Well, bukan berarti liburan ini gw yg sibuk bgt juga sih... gw masi bisa bgn siang2... gw masi sempet napas kok... hahaha... tp, rasanya pikiran gw ga pernah kosong... baru selese mikirin satu hal, hal laen bakal ikutan dateng... gitu deh... emang, mgkn gw ini orgnya ga betah diem, baru diem bentar, dah mikirin hal yg bisa dilakuin...
Tp kadang yg gw kecewain dari diri gw, gw keliatan sibuk... tapi... ga ada satupun hasilnya!! >_< sebel deh kadang... rasanya capek, tp gw capek2 for nuthin... sebel ga sih??
Makanya, liburan ini, gw belajar u/ lebih organise lagi... en belajar buat ga sungkan2 nerima ato minta bantuan org laen (honestly, susah loh buat gw!!)... gw juga belajar slow down... en take things more easily... basically, hal2 yg gw pelajarin selama liburan ini, ga jauh2 dari hal2 yg gw coba kuasain seumur hidup gw... huehehe... :p
ya begitu deh sekilas kabar gw selama liburan... dah dulu deh, gw musti cabut neh... bye! :)

Akhirnya!!! Gw bisa nulis lagi.. :)
Hm.. liburan ga berasa dah mo berakhir... en klo lu tanya gw, apa aja yg dah gw lakuin, gw bakal jawab, "not much"... Tapi, gw belajar banyak hal...

Anyway, hari ini results gw keluar... ga seperti sebelom2nya, gw ga deg2an kali ini...
Gw bener2 biasa2 aja... en ternyata result gw juga biasa2 aja sih... (sesuai dengan usahanya) hehehe :p
Thanks God, gw pass smua units... which means gw ga perlu ngulang any subjects... :)
Jujur aja, gw rada ga telalu hepi begitu liat result gw... tp pas gw bandingin ama semester lalu, sebenernya nilai gw lebih bagus sih... en sebenernya lagi, it's amazing klo gw bisa pass smua units, karena klo ada yg pernah liat gw belajar, gw hampir ga pernah belajar!!! >_<
Makanya, gw bisa bilang, klo nilai yg gw dapet skrg ini bukan hasil dari usaha gw ndiri, but it's the grace of God... en becoz of that, i shud be thankful... :)

Btw, i gtg... masi banyak hal yg harus gw lakuin...
Hopefully, di semester yg baru nanti, gw bisa jadi a better student, a better human, a better daughter of God... Amin!!! ^_^

the old me? real me?

it's cloudy and raining outside... today's weather isn't my favourite...
btw, i really wanna write sumfin down, but i dont really have a particular topic to write about, so i guess i'll juz write whateva i wanna write.. lol ^0^

yeah, so, i've talked about the weather...
it's so windy today... i was planning to go out for lunch with my friend this afternoon, then i changed my mind... i thought, "nar, the weather is too rough, i'll juz stay at home today.."
hahaha... so i cancelled the lunch...

talking about the weather, my mood isn't too far from the weather...
i kindda mellow today.... started to go back to the old me... which i dont really like... :(
have tried so hard.... i've changed a bit, then, everything that i've been trying so hard for, juz changed back in a split of second by chance!! (well, not exactly by chance..)

sebel deh klo lagi kayak gini... smuanya bisa aja keliatan negativenya di mata gw... :(
even yg seharusnya positive pun, jadi negative... what's wrong with me???
kayaknya gw bener2 need a break... gw bener2 butuh wkt buat gw sendiri...
bener2 sendiri...
ga kebayang, gimana ada org yg tiap hari sibuk... gw baru keluar rumah berturut2 5 hari aja, dah kayak gini... ini juga cuma buat sementara... klo ada org yg harus live like this, gw bener2 ga kebayang how can that person live?! how can that person has a life?!
anyway... it's juz me yg lagi melo.... hahhaa... sudah lah, i'd better have some rest...
dah kebanyakan makan juga neh hari ini... not good... :( need some exercise... hehehe :p
nite everyone... :)

life's fragile...

Pengen bgt nulis ttg betapa rapuhnya hidup...
i'll try to make it short...

Sebenernya, dah kepikiran ttg topic ini dari kemaren...
ilhamnya dateng pas lagi maen drama....
ada satu temen gw, yg pas lagi meranin peran yg dibunuh, tiba2 dy ketakutan karena ngerasa bakal dibunuh beneran.... en tiba2 dy jadi mikirin.... en satu kalimat yg dia ucapin, yg bikin gw pengen nulis adalah... "Kayaknya gw blm siap buat mati..."

Yep! Kayaknya, ga ada seorang pun yg 100% siap buat mati... tp klo gw, at least, gw ga takut... karena gw percaya, gw bisa pegang janji yg Tuhan dah kasih.... i believe there's an after life...
Apa yg temen gw bilang, emang bener... dy bilang klo hidup ini, bener2 rapuh... kita ga pernah tw kapan kita bakal ga bernyawa, alias dead... sekarang kita bisa ketawa2, kita ga pernah tw klo bsknya kita bakal bersedih.... kita bisa ngejalanin rutinitas kita tiap hari, en kita ga pernah tw, klo mgkn aja hari esok ga pernah dateng lagi...

So, my point is... hidup ini rapuh.... jalanin hidup ini to the max.... lakuin sgala yg terbaik yg bisa kita lakuin... jgn cuma ngejar apa yg ada di dunia, karena toh akhirnya ga bakal bisa kita bawa en ga bisa di pake klo kita dah ga hidup di dunia ini... kejar lah yg lebih penting.... kejar Tuhan... kejar Kerajaan Allah... get to know The Truth... and one thing i can guarantee u, at least, lu tw, klo lu dah ga sia2in hidup lu...

keep in touch

Why is it so hard to keep in touch with a good friend???
Sometimes i wonder..
Like today, I've juz spent all my mobile credit to call my friends in Perth...
To be honest, i dont really care how much i spend....
For me, a friend is much more important than money...
and u cant buy a good friend...
i treasure a good friend so much...
But when it comes to the end of the month, when all bills are due,
when there are a lot to pay... much money to spend....
Sometimes i juz wonder...
Why is it so hard to keep in touch with a good friend??
Some say, a great treasure doesnt come easily, it needs a sacrifice...
and i really dont mind to sacrifice a little bit for my friends...
esp. a really good friend... :)

reminder for myself: be still...

Umm... ga tw mau nulis apa... too many things going on in my mind... and too much that i need to do... and guess what i really wanna do now??!
Honestly... i juz wanna be alone... and have sum time for myself... (if possible)...
Kayaknya belakangan gw dah telalu "sok" sibuk... hahaha...
I guess, sumtimes i tried so hard, when actually i dont really need to.... i dunno...
I'm juz trying to be the best that i can be, and give the best that i can give...

Hmm.. i guess i better go to sleep now... dah ngaret 30 menit dari rencana....
hahaha... good nite everyone... :)

kesibukan kuw...

Dah lama bgt ya gw ga nge-post... sebenernya dah lama gw pengen nge-post... tp blm ada wkt... en mlm ini, gw sempet2in... sebelom mood gw buat nulis ilang... hehehe :p

Gw dah selese exam minggu lalu, tepatnya pas seminggu yg lalu... gw kira, selese exam berarti banyak wkt luang, gw bakal nganggur kayak org bego yg ga tw musti ngapain... ternyata ga juga... ternyata, apa yg gw pikirin salah.... ternyata banyak hal yg bisa gw lakuin, en gw ended up sibuk pas minggu pertama liburan ini... :) sempet stress malah.. hahaha...
dah janji ini itu ama temen2.... belom ada satupun yg kesampean.... mgkn udah ada, tp baru sebagian kecil bgt... belakangan ini lagi sibuk nyiapin acara special peka rmit... can't wait till the D-day... and when it's all over.... hopefully i can get a good nite sleep again... :)

btw... ada beberapa topic yg pengen gw tulis... tp, sekarang ini blm sempet... :((
i'll write it down ASAP when i've got a time... so, so long for now... :)

is it coffee-effect??

*sigh*
Find myself can't sleep again tonite... it's 4am... and guess what?! i havent even touched my bed yet... i dunno why, i keep telling myself not to sleep... and so here i am... with eyes wide awake, tired body and mind.... but cant sleep.... i really should hold on to my words that i wouldnt drink anymore coffee except during the critical moment...
I think, i'd better study now.... and hopefully i'll be able to sleep soon, coz i'll be having a class tmrw... and i find that keep awake for too long is not good for my mind, since i started to think about unimportant things...

nitez everyone....

congratulation or book cover??

hmmm... if u read the title of this posting, u might think, "what's the relationship between congratulation and a book cover??".... actually, there are some topics that i'd like to write on tonite... but i wasn't sure which one i should write... so, i guess, i'll juz write both... hahaha... ^0^

The first topic.. "CONGRATULATION"...
I've been wanting to write this topic since this morning... i thought of it when i had my shower (as usual... hehehe :p)...
Suddenly, i was reminded to my friend when i was in junior high.... i still remember boldly the day when she told me that she has been dating a senior at school... well, this friend of mine was a close friend of mine when we were in the 1st grade, but afterwards, we grew apart... anyway, when i heard about the news, i didnt congratulate her... and guess what she said?? she asked me why i didnt congratulate her, so i did (juz becoz she asked me to.. lol)...

Well, i have some reasons for my act... firstly, i've met that senior once... and honestly, i didn't really like him... i mean, i dont think he can be a good boyfriend for my friend... they only knew each other for a very short time, and suddenly she told me they are dating already... so i thought that guy wasnt really wise... that's the first minus from me... the second reason, i didnt congratulate her is simply juz becoz i think there's nothing to be congratulate... as simple as that!
You might think, "are u blind, nov?? your friend found someone to love, it needs a congratulation.."... Honestly, i dont agree.. for me, i dont want to take back my words when they split up (which unfortunately, they were....)... There's no way i'm gonna congratulate them before their marriage..!! Sounds too serious, huh? hahaha... well, if u understand my reason, hopefully u'll understand my act...

For me, when two people are started dating or courtship, or whateva u wanna call it... there's nothing to be congratulate for, except for their courage to start to another stage of life... that's how i see it... to start dating doesnt mean they are going to live happily ever after... to start dating means they are brave enough to take more responsibilities in life... brave enough to learn to live more selflessly... the only thing i'll be congratulate for is their bravery to take the decision and be ready for all what lies on the way...

hmm... it's been a pretty long posting... so i guess i'll keep the "book cover" topic for next time then... ^_^

a 'perfect' day...

Today, i learned that how my life's gonna be depends on my decision how i'm going to live it...
hmmm... what a long sentence... let me break it down and make it simpler...
what i'm trying to say is... that how my life is going to be... whether it's going to be good or bad.... it doesnt depend on my circumtances... it is completely depend on my decision...

For example...
Everyone who knows me well enough knew that i often have a negative thinking out of everything... (an attitude that i've been working on to change)... i can always complaining about anything... but... today, i'm tired of all that.... i've decided that today is going to be a good day... i have decided, nothing is going to erase the joy in my heart... i've decided that i'll be happy today... and guess what?! i did!!! i was happy... and i'm still happy... :) (doesnt mean i'm not worry bout my exam tmrw)...

This morning, i woke up as planned... but i left home a bit later that what i planned.... but it's ok, i told myself... then, once i was out of the apartment, the tram arrived... what a good timing... but then i missed the 2nd tram... i have 2 choices.. to let tram ruin my mood, or to be happy to walk... look at the bright side, at least i had a chance to exercise... :) then, i studied in library... found a good spot... had a good lunch... got a block of chocolate from my friend who stopped by... then when i went home, the rain fall juz after i got on the tram... and guess what?! juz before i got off the tram, the rain stopped!! I would say, it's a "perfect" day for me!! :) coz i've chosen to make it "perfect"...

well, enough of the story... i'd better start studying for tmrw... and make another "perfect" day... :)

kiss

Berapa kali pun gw ntn video klip ini, rasanya ga pernah bosen....
esp. wkt lagi butuh refreshing sebelom exam... hehehe :p
------------------------------------------------

Father's love letter for you...

When i cleaned up my room, i found this love letter...
The love letter from the Father... for me... for u... for all of us...
--------------------------------------------------

missing u..

Within you I lose myself...
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again.
------------------------------

Love this quote... got it sumwhere from the net, juz before my 1st exam... >_<
aww!!! miss ya all... miss all those moments...

one step at a time...

Nothing in life is too big.
Just break it down into smaller steps.
You can achieve anything, one step at a time.
------------------------------------------------

I assume most of us are busy with preparation for exams...
and i think "stress" isn't an uncommon word between us...
if u think u're too stressed and cant cope with it anymore,
why dont u take a break for a while and read this article...
Hopefully it's going to help u a lil bit and afterwards u'll be ready to revise the next chapter in your textbook! ;)

Shift happens...

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. --Charles Darwin

rubbish??

have u ever go back and read what u have written in the past??
like a diary, or maybe some old letters, or maybe older posting in your blog??
sumtimes, i can laugh at my silliness in the past...
or sumtimes, i can also learn from my past experiences...
but sumtimes, i regret what i have wrote...
i might wrote sumfin which seems right at that time,
but a moment later... when i go back and read it, they're all make me seem stupid...
or contradict what im doing in the future...
which means i cant keep my own words...
and now i'm wondering....
are all those postings that i've written juz going to be rubbish in the future??

cant sleep tonite

ga tw kenapa... gw ga bisa tidur malem ini... padahal i'm pretty sure klo gw tuh capek bgt.... rasanya pengen lgs tdr aja di tmp tdr, but there's sumfin that keeps me from falling asleep... even ngobrol ma temen di telp, ga bikin gw a lil bit more comfortable.... gw paling sebel klo dah kayak gini... perasaan yg paling nyebelin... karena bikin gw ga bisa tidur, sedangkan gw paling suka tdr!!!

maybe it's time for me to go back to Him and talk to Him...
there's no other way...
when i started to get lost,
and when everything looks blur...
i know that's the time when i have to go back...

positive thinkin'

Thought of the day:

i cant deny the power of positive thinkin'...
it can change what seems impossible to be possible...
(of course u need hard work as well)
but there's a time in life when u juz can't be positive,
even to think positively seems to be the hardest think to do...
i guess it's ok... dont be frustrated and blame yourself for not being positive...
when it's getting harder... that means we need to be recharged...
whether by talking to some wiser ppl,
or by asking for a refreshment from the Lord...
Trying to be positive all the time is a good thing... very good indeed...
but u dont have to fight for it alone... :)

Be positive!! and keep on smiling :)

nothing last forever..

Quote of the day:

If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. --Thich Nhat Hanh

birthday celebration

Yesterday, we had a birthday celebration in our church....
when we heard the word "birthday", we'll associate it with party and presents...

but i guess, birthday is much more than that...
birthday is a celebration of life!!!
We celebrate someone's bday, becoz his/her birth has been a blessings for us...
becoz his/her birth has brought joy to our lives...
we celebrate the bday becoz we are thankful that the person's still given another year to be shared with us... and glad that he/she has touched so many lives...
we celebrate someone's bday not becoz it's wot ppl do on the birthday...
but we celebrate it coz be are grateful for someone's life!!
It's the life, that we celebrate...

so, the question is, have u live your life so that it brings joy and celebration to ppl??

why me?!

Renungan singkat...

I wont write much today...
juz reminded to an article that i've read few months ago...
it's about how ppl are complaining when they face trials and obstacles in life...
they'll ask God, "why me?!"... "why should i go thru all these??"
but when it comes down to gaining blessings, there'll be no one ask, "why me?!"...

fighting...

have u ever fight with sumone??
i bet everyone has... and of course i have...
but so far, the fight that i consider as the hardest fight is the one against myself...
i bet u've had one too....
the fight which can has the same winner and loser... ourselves..
sumtimes it's easier juz to let the bad side wins...
and sumtimes even tho the good side wins, i'll still feel as if i'm a loser...

(sigh).. nothing much to write about...
juz wanna encourage all of us to keep the spirit up
and let our good side win the fight... ^_^

The sun is shining - Third Day

Yesterday I found
That everything I knew was wrong
It was upside down
The life I thought I had was gone

But You came and whispered love to me
And You gave me strength to carry on

Oh, the sun is shining
There is hope for me again
A new day's dawning
The sun is shining

Yesterday I lost
Everything I had and loved
Then I cried out for You, Lord
And You came and picked me up

And the sorrow lasted through the night
But the joy came with the morn

I will lift my voice
No, I won't be silent
For You heard my cry
And You turned my mourning into dancing
And so forever I'll sing

back to the old me??

it's raining today...
it was cloudy all day and freezing cold!!
but the weird thing is that i am so happy today... no particular reason...
when i think of it, i have enuf reasons to make me unhappy and blame the weather for having a bad mood... but didnt have any bad mood at all, not even from the beginning of the day... amazing huh?! doest happen often, and i hope it'll happen more often tho.. ^^

well, there're juz too many things to be grateful for...
it's raining today... it's a blessing... coz australia really need a rain... and plenty more...
and today we also celebrated Angga's bday...
it was the last PeKa for the semester.... and i'm so happy with the progress... juz so happy to have a wonderful "family" in uni environment...

as u might notice, i started to post things up on this blog more often...
well, i guess i started to gain interest in the things i used to be interested for...
such as writing and photography... (can't wait till the exams are over and juz going out all day taking pictures of whateva i like... ^0^)
i like who i am today... so different from the one in the last few weeks...
hopefully i can always be the cheerful me that i used to know... ^^

not sure...

i'm not too sure what to write here...
it's 1.40am at the moment.... and i've juz come back from Jacklyn's place for Eva's bday celebration.... she's 20 now... ^^ (welcome to the club va.. :p)
I didnt talk much... didnt do much.. didnt interact much wif the others.... felt abit awkward... but it was ok... i can still manage... ^^ plus, i can see their effort to talk to me... but still.... i often felt i'm juz an outsider who's at the wrong place with the wrong ppl... maybe it's juz my negative thinking as some might say.... but it has always been in my mind, it's in my blood... it's not gonna be easy to erase all those negative feelings... i'm learning en still trying tho... and i've promised myself, i wont give up coz i know i can do it... not that i'm strong enuf... it is bcoz i know i have ppl who support me... (so thankful for them...) ^^

well, i guess i shud stop here... it's 1.48am now... my lovely assignments have been waiting for me.... so i gtg.... catch ya later....

where are you??

where were you when i needed u??
i asked..
why cant i see u??
why cant i hear u??
one more time i asked...

then...
i turned to myself...
looked at the image in the mirror...
asked myself...
where were u when they needed u??
were u there??
and what did u do when they tried to approach u??

then tears juz fell down...
my eyes were opened wide...
my mind was cleared...
my heart mended...

i asked myself....
what have i done??
why did i build such a high wall juz to protect myself from your love??
why did i hurt myself juz to find out that it hurts you too, even more??
why did i do all that??

everything is clear to me now...
that you are always there...
and that love that you've given me is always there...
and you are still the same...
nothing has changed...
apart from myself...



Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. --Michael Strassfeld

chat with old friends...

This morning, i woke up at 4am, and was really hungry!! LoL...
then i made myself a breakie and went online... my friend (Spence) was online... he's in Perth, and it's around 1am over there... he said he couldn't sleep and i havent been in touch with him for ages... so we caught up, and he told me everything about himself... he's started uni again and has changed his course to electrical engineering n computer science (the course that i thought he shud be doing)... he's so into stars and galaxies stuffs... and suddenly he told me about all that... about nebulae, about black hole, about a birth of a star, about betelgeuse, and much more... i've always been so happy to listen to him.... coz he can explain things very clearly and never get annoyed when i asked lots of questions.... it's all started with, "hey, can u imagine the amount of sand on the whole world?? times it with 4, and that's how many stars there are in the sky".... amazing isnt it?? and i started to think about God's wonders... juz so amaze... and all of a sudden, i've started to talk about God to him... he's juz a typical oz who doesnt believe in God.. but what i like from him is that he doesnt mind me talking bout God and will listen to what i said... even tho he always argue.. lol... (gee, miss him so much!!)
He told me one thing.... he's always happy to talk to me sumhow.... coz even tho i dont agree with him, i'll listen to him and try to understand his point... hmmm... guess that's why i like to talk to him too... everybody's like to be listened... ^_^

Then, this afternoon, i was so desperate for a company.... then i msg my friend in Perth... we often talk to each other esp. the time before exams.... LoL... her name is Irene... she's such a smart-hard working gal, who always put her standard high... (i guess she doesnt realise it)... she often pushed her self more than everyone else, that's why i didnt surprise when i found out that she got the golden key and top student awards... she simply deserves it!
And as usual, when it come to exam preparation time, she's started to get paranoid about her marks... and sumhow she often find peace of mind and encouragement from my words... (who am i that she takes my words seriously?!)... She's a smart gal, and she knew what to do... she juz need an encouragement and sumone to tell her that she's been too hard to her self... she has done her best and what she really needs now is to relax a bit...
When i told her all that, sumfin hit me on the head... they are all the encouragements that i needed... deep down in my heart, i knew what to do... and by helping her, i'm helping myself... it's amazing how things work out this way.... :p

now, i understand better the quote about friends are angels who God send for us...
Friends are like stars... they're might not always seen, but they're always there....
and a good friend is sumone who can sing the song in your heart, when u forget the how to sing...
Dear all my friends, i juz want u to know that it's a privilege for me to have u as my friends... tq vry much.... ^0^

when there's nothing wrong

hey... it's me again...
at the state where all i can do is juz thinkin there's sumfin wrong with me...
sumfin wrong with my life.... but then found out there's nothing wrong...
weird huh?!

i couldn't find peace of mind... dunno why...
even talking to ppl doesnt make me feel any better...
is it the time for me to keep quiet??
or would this quietness harm me??
you know what i mean??
when u started to keep quiet, you'll keep on talkin to yourself... and when your heart and mind arent in a good condition, i guess your thoughts can harm you...

(sigh).... well, i dunno...
is it juz the weather?? btw, it's raining today!! ^^
oz needs rain badly!! everything was wet, everything was beautiful, except the weather...
hahaha...

mellow lagi...

lately... i've done a lot of thinkin... a lot of searching... search for an identity...
i dont understand how sumtimes i'm still confused about my self...
coz ppl said, if u've known God, u won't be lost anymore... u'll know your identity as a human...
a God's creation...
well, i think i know all that... but what i'm searching for is more specific, like who i really am... like, who is Novy... am i the same person as what i thought i am as what other ppl think i am (ok, who cares about what the others think!! well, i do...)... i juz thought, if it doesnt match... that means there's sumfin wrong.. whether i'm hidding my true personality, or i dunno what.... and i'm so tired of not being the real me... the problem is, i dunno how is the real me... (can anyone help??) hahaha...

hfff... i guess i'm just wasting my time thinkin bout this useless thing...
ppl said, wot i need to do is juz to do my best to live life to the fullest... by serving and love others... esp. the ones in need...

(and i believe, one day, i'll know who i really am... a great creation, which has been created by God... with love and care... to glorify His name...) ^_^

Spiderman 3

I've juz watched this movie last nite... i wasn't planning to, but the temptation is too much that i couldnt reject it... i thought it might be the last time i can watch movies before the exam time... so, there i was, watching the movie in melb central wif 5 other friends...

Basically, i wont tell you what's in the movie...
I juz wanna share what i've got from it... I dunno how, or why, i've learnt a lot of things from that movie... since the beginning, till the end...

Few points that i got...
The 1st one is about being humble... too much pride can harm you... coz it'll make you self-centered....
The 2nd thing is about best friend... once you've found a best friend, dont ever trade them with anything else, coz they are your assets in life!! You might need to sacrifice everything, even your life for your best friend... a best friend is always there and come at the rite time...
The 3rd thing is about life... about choices we have in life... what was said in the ending was so true!! Life is about making choices... you can't say, "I have no choice"... coz it's not true!! everyone have a choice.... and we can choose to be the best of ourselves or to choose not to change, or not to choose at all... it's all our choices...
The 4th thing is about sin... symbolised by the black clothing... dont ever play and compromise with sin... coz once it's get on you, slowly but sure it'll take over you and change who you are... it might feels good at the beginning, but in the end it'll destroy you and bring u to death...

Those are juz a few points that i've got from the movie... if u havent watch the movie, watch it!! and while u r watching it, try to have a look at it from a different perspective... you'll be amaze how a movie can teach u alot!!!

lately...

hellow smua!!! if u r wondering where i've been gone lately, i'll tell u... i've been burried under loads of assignments... and i was really stressed... tp akhirnya smuanya bisa selese juga minggu ini.. but it doesnt mean i dont hv anymore assignments... lots are yet to come... T_T gw dapet break sehari... which is kemaren... en mulai dr skrg, i gotta work hard again if i dont wanna experience last few weeks experiences... hehehe :p

banyak yg gw pelajarin belakangan ini... since gw ga punya banyak wkt buat ngobrol2 en jalan2 bareng temen2 gw... gw banyak sendirian... en, yg pasti pertama2 gw belajar buat GA NUNDA2 kerjaan!! coz yg bakal ngalamin kerugian tuh gw ndiri...
trus, belajar juga buat commit ama plan yg dah gw bikin... jangan telalu sering compromise... buntut2nya jadi nunda2 lagi... in other words, belajar buat DISIPLIN... tell you smthg, it's really hard to train yourself to be discipline... but it's really a good asset that you plant for yourself...
trus belajar BERSYUKUR juga... Give thanks in everything that the Lord has given me.... friends, family, time, support, health, weather, etc... gw belajar u/ ga take things for granted... klo biasanya hal2 kecil itu smuanya gw anggep biasa2 aja, dah sewajarnya, i deserve all that... i've juz learnt that actually i may not deserve all that, but our Father loves me so much that He gave all His blessings abundantly...

masi banyak lagi sih... cuma enuf segini dulu aja deh.... musti ngerjain assignment lagi... hiks... T_T
(ups, ga boleh mengeluh!! banyak yg bilang ke gw, nukmatin masa2 kuliah, coz i'm gonna missed it once i graduated... so, bersukacitalah senatiasa!!) ^_^

so blessed...

klo ada yg punya msn gw, pasti dah baca nick gw...
"give thanks"... gw sengaja nulis itu, as a reminder buat gw.... biar selalu give thanks to God atas apa yg dah dikasi ke gw... i am soooooo blessed... and sumtimes, i forgot to give thanks.. bukannya bersyukur atas apa yg gw punya, gw malah ngeluh atas apa yg gw ga punya... (yaaahhh gt deh yg namanya manusia... ga pernah puas...) =_='

belakangan, beberapa org bilang ke gw buat jangan telalu mikirin yg berat2...
padahal gw ga pernah cerita apa2 ma org2... i guess, tampang gw keliatan bgt klo lagi mikirin masalah2 gt... hahaha... (penyakit turunan...) :p
dan hari ini, gw disadarin lagi, klo gw itu bleeeeeeesssssedddd bgt!!!...
bayangin aja, ada org yg mau dengerin gw hampir 2 jam di telpon.... padahal dengerin gw cerita itu bukan sesuatu yg gampang... biasanya klo gw cerita, pasti suka bikin org laen jadi kesel... dan ini org dengan tabah en sabarnya dengerin gw berceloteh... hahaha... thx ya...
trus, ada yg care ke gw, dengan nanyain kabar gw... ada yg approach gw, en nasehatin buat jgn telalu stres... klo gw kadang berpikir ga ada yg peduli ama gw, terbukti klo gw salah total!!!
banyak yg peduli... tergantung, gw milih u/ terima sikap mereka sebagai kepedulian, ato malah nganggep mereka cuma cerewetin gw...

gt juga dengan loe.. iya, LOE, yg lagi baca blog ini... mau terus ngasihanin diri lu, en ngambek ma Tuhan klo lu ga dipeduliin... ato mo mulai buka mata lu, telinga lu en hati lu buat nerima care, love, en grace yg Tuhan kasi, salah satunya melalui org2 disekitar loe... sadarin klo lu itu so blessed... en give thanks... :)

weight loss vs character change...

hari ini, ada yg comment klo gw kurusan... (senangnya!!)
err.. malesh ga seh?? hahaha... well, sebenernya biasa aja sih...
tp ada senengnya juga, artinya gw berhasil mempertahankan pola makan yg nykp gw coba jejelin wkt gw di indo... hahaha... (ma, nv berhasil so far!! ^^)

Hmm... sebenernya ga planning nulis ini sih... tp tiba2 aja kepengen...
lagi mikir ttg relationship antara weight loss n perubahan karakter...
(suka mikir yg ga penting sih emang... hahaha)
yg pasti, persamaan yg bisa gw temuin di keduanya adalah,
dua2nya butuh process, ga terjadi instantly... en kadang kita ga nyadar, tp org di sekitar kita yg bakal notice duluan....

Hmm.. intinya sih, gw cuma pengen bikin org2 yg baca ini blog ikutan mikir....
en sadar akan hal ini...
mgkn ada dari kita yg niat bgt nurunin berat badan (for whateva reason), tp nyoba dengan cara2 yg instant.... it might work for a while, tp akhirannya pasti bakal balik lagi... u/ ilangin berat badan en lemak2 yg numpuk itu, diperluin a constant work... olahraga yg teratur, pola makan yg bener yg dilakuin continuously... gitu juga dengan perubahan karakter ke arah yg lebih baik... ga bakal terjadi dalam sekejap mata... diperluin process yg kadang suka ga enak... tp itulah yg ngebentuk karakter kita jadi lebih kuat en kokoh, ga gampang goyah en balik ke karakter yg lama... so.... pesen gw... jangan pernah capek, don't ever give up.... apapun usaha kita, pasti akan membuahkan hasil suatu saat nanti... hehehe :p

top secret: you are special

Hey!!!
i can't wait to tell you a big secret...
it might not make your life smoother... but hopefully it will make you a little bit happier... ^_^

I've known of this secret for so long, i juz hv never really thought about it yet... and it kindda get lost sumwhere in my head...
this morning, it suddenly came to my mind... and the secret is...

You are special
coz you are...
YOU!!!

As simple as that!!! have u ever realise that??
The bible said, God loves us for who we are.... and it also said that we are special in His eyes... that means we are special in His eyes... YES!! you and me!!!
What can you ask for more??

Ok, now, don't keep this secret to yourself....
share it with others as well... ^_^
have a good day... no, i shud say, have special day... :D
or.... maybe i shud say, have an eXtraOrdinary day!!! ^_^

ps: need more explanation?? juz leave a comment on this posting...

be positive!!

it's been a bz day for me.... well, actually i didnt do much... but my mind wondered a lot.... hahaha.. ^_^

hari ini, ga tw napa, rasanya mood gw mayan oke deh... mgkn karena kmrn dah bete seharian... jadinya hari ini negatif2nya dah abis... hehehe...
tp kayaknya negatipnya gw jadi nular ke org2 laen deh... hehehe :p

anyway, hari ini tuh anzac day di Aussie...
kata temen gw sih, di jalanan td pagi rame bgt, tp berhubung gw seharian di rumah, gw ga tw... pas sore sih emang bny org, tp pasti ga serame anzac day parade...
hari ini, gw banyak merhatiin detail loh, ga tw knp.... en lebih enteng aja perasaannya... lebih gampang senyum... :)

td supir tramnya lucu deh... bikin org2 ketawa... :)
trusnya pas jalan di southgate, yg maen gitar suaranya enak.. lagunya juga enak...
trus langit cerah, udaranya adem....
trusnya... gw lagi seneng aja.. ^_^
mgkn karena pada akhirnya most things are under my control...
assignments gw masi banyak sih, tpnya gw dah ga lost lagi kayak kmrn2...
gw mulai tw musti ngapain... well, moga2 sih positipnya ga hari ini aja...
hehehe :p

udah ah.. musti lanjut lagi...
buat yg sempet gw bikin bete, jangan bete ama gw lama2 ya... en sori....
i'll try to change... ^_^

everlasting love...

pada suatu sore... gw lagi liat2 buku di suatu book shop...
trus, terjadilah conversation between gw en si penjaga bookshop (namanya Ian)...

Ian: i've read a book written by an indian priest, who write about why the marriage in india has a lower case of divorce compare to americans...
Gw: (manggut2)
Ian: he wrote that in India, most marriages are arrange marriage, the couple dont love each other at the beginning, they dont even know each other. Therefore the couple realise that they need to work hard to make their marriage works and results from that they start to know, understand and love each other...
While in America, it's the other way around... they love each other before they decided to get married... after they get married, they never really work thru their marriage, so they ended up lost their love and passion to each other...
Gw: hmmm... an interesting explanation...

Gw ga pernah sih kepikiran ttg hal tsb... tp, it makes sense sih... gw jadi inget ama blog yg pernah gw baca... yg nulis ttg love tank itu musti di isi terus.... klo pada awal relationship love tank itu penuh, during the relationship pasti bakal ada minus2nya... nah, pada wkt ada minusnya, kita musti nambahin lagi lovenya biar jadi penuh lagi... (tanki cinta by Windra S.)... jadi... yg namanya everlasting love tuh, ga mustahil, but we need to work hard for it...

complicated...

people said it is simple,
but i made it complicated...

i don't really understand myself sumtimes....
i don't really know where to go...
i don't really know what to do...
and i don't really know how i should be...

what i do know is that...
i need Your guidance Lord
i need Your love
i need You...
and You are MORE than enough to me...

sunset @uni

skrg gw lagi di uni... en ga seharusnya gw nulis di blog, tp lagi pengen... karena otak gw lagi hang, jadi ga bisa dipake buat nulis yg berat2 kayak assignment... hehehe alesan bgt ya??

Ga berasa, skrg dah mulai winter nih di Melb... mulai dingin.... kmrn aja max 20 derajat... hari ini sih ok lah, max 25... tp skrg baru jam 5 lwt dah mo sunset... langit dah mulai merah... artinya, mulai skrg, gw bakal banyak tidur lagi deh.. hehehe (kayak biasanya ga pernah banyak tdr aja...)

Pengen cerita neh... masi berkisar ttg ultah gw... suasananya masi berasa neh... abisnya kmrn, abis peka, ternyata ada yg bawa kue ultah buat gw... which means, kue ke-4 gw... trus gw dapet kado yg paling besar dari smua kado yg gw pernah terima... it is... LOYANG KUE!!! hehehe ^_^ gw seneng bgt!!! ga ngerti kan knp gw bisa seneng bgt?? ya iya lah!! gimana ga seneng coba?? akhirnya gw bisa punya loyang kue sendiri... lengkap pula!! dari loyang cookies, loyang muffin, sampe loyang bolu smuanya ada... bener2, it's another surprise for me!! gw ga pernah kepikiran bakal ada yg ngasi gw loyang kue... thanks a lot guys!!! gw usahain, begitu assignment gw selese, gw bakal bikin kue lagi deh... hehehe ^_^ jadi semangat neh bikin kue... dah lama bgt gw ga pernah menyentuh mixer en loyang2 kue yg sering jadi sahabat gw klo gw lagi stress... (btw, gw klo stress, biasanya bikin kue buat refreshing.. tp skrg lagi bener2 ga ada wkt n tenaga.. -_-)

hmm... apalagi ya?? gw punya sih banyak hal yg pengen gw ketik...
ttg hidup gw... kemaren ini, gw turn 20... which means gw ga bisa lagi ngaku2 "teenager"... artinya gw musti lebi responsible ama sikap n perkataan gw... bukan lagi kayak teenager yg bisa semaunya ndiri...
trus... pas ultah gw, ada yg ngasi gw kartu en isinya bilang gini, "it's a blessing to know you"... sumhow, it touched me... seumur hidup, kayaknya belom pernah ada org yg bilang gt ke gw... mgkn pernah ada yg bilang how lucky they are to know me... but ga pernah ada org yg bilang mereka felt blessed... en suatu kalimat yg singkat itu, tiba2 bikin gw nyadar en mikir... gw serasa dibangunin dari tidur gw... gw jadi bertanya2 dalem hati... "is it true??"... selama 20 taon ini gw hidup di dunia ini, seberapa sering sih gw make pemberian Tuhan ini buat jadi blessings buat org laen?? gw berasa, yg ada juga, gw cuma bisanya bikin susah org laen doank... tp i'm glad sih, klo emang org yg nulis kartu itu really mean what he/she wrote... that means, at least, dari sekian banyak org yg pernah gw lalui hidupnya, ada satu org yg mendapat blessing melalui gw.. :)

surprise!!!

Melbourne, 14 April 2007

Tanggal di pojok kiri atas adalah hasil rekayasa belaka.... hehehe :p
Iya nih... sebenernya gw pengennya nulis pas the end of the day on 14 April 2007, tpnya gw kecapekan en ga sempet buat nulis karena gw ketiduran begitu pulang dari foundation... hehehe...

Well, spt yg sebagian dari kalian tw, gw ber-ultah 2 hari yg lalu... en i was too tired to expect anything from my friends... yg ada di kepala gw tuh Cuma tugas en istirahat... i dont even remember about it klo ga ada yg ingetin en ngungkit2...

So, gini ceritanya... pada malem sebelom 14 april, gw lagi nyoba ngerjain assignment gw... tp akhirnya gw ngantuk en decided buat tdr beberapa jam en bangun subuh2... nah, akhirnya gw tdr jam 11an... ehhh tengah malem, hp gw bergetar2 membangunkan gw, ternyata telpon n sms dari temen2 buat ngucapin “hepi bday”... so, gw accept en gw tdr lagi.... gw merem-melek2 berkali2 gara2 hp yg bergetar... trusnya, gw mencoba buat tdr lagi... sebelom gw sempet terlelap, tiba2 ada yg buka pintu kamar gw, en dengan kurang ajarnya masuk kamar en narik selimut gw!!! Reflex gw lgs ngeluh, “Gw masi mo tdr!!!” >_< Guys, klo kalian niat surprise-in gw... kalian berhasil telak!!! Hahaha... thx bgt ya... i really didnt expect anything... it was so sweet that kalian capek2 abis nganter Poink, masi sempet2nya singgah buat ngebangunin gw... ^_^ Begitu bgn, gw lgs disodorin kue yg dah berlilin... dan gw dipaksa buat niup sebelom lilinnya abis... trus ga tw gimana, tw2 kuenya dah terpotong2 en lenyap... hahaha... Ini surprise buat gw yg pertama...

Trusnya... temen2 pada pulang, gw berkutat dengan assignment lagi... gw stay mpe 5am en ketdran... bgn lagi dah jam 7am en dah saatnya buat ke kampus, karena gw ada dairy prac... hari itu bener2 special!!! Biasanya gw ga ada kelas pas sabtu, tp i guess karena hari itu bday gw, jadi ada kelas d... hahaha... Kelasnya mayan ok sih... walo otak gw masi rada konslet karena kurang tdr... kita evaluate pizza cheese en ended up makan pizza en ice cream, disertai soft drinks...

Selese kelas, gw masi ada group meeting... karena selama easter break kelompok gw ga meeting, jadinya kita meeting en catch up yg ketinggalan pas sabtu itu... Tak di expect lagi... ternyata temen2 gw yg dr RmiT juga nyiapin kue buat gw!!! Oh tidak!!! Bener2 deh, kok bisa ya gw KENA dua kali!?! Thank you all!!! Appreciate it so much!! Apalagi buat VQ yg dah repot2 pergi beli kue en minjem piso, en felix yg dengan muka tebal minta tissue ke cafe... hehehe :p That was the 2nd surprise...

Trusnya... gw stay di library smp jam 4an, trus pulang...
Otw pulang, ada temen gw yg namanya Angga nelpon... ternyata dy lagi di ct juga, en ngajakin jalan bareng ke arah greja... berhubung rmh dy di Burwood, greja gw di Glenferrie, katanya sih lewat... gw pikir, oke juga lah.... jadi gw ga usah naek train... (i thought it’s gonna be faster)... trusnya ternyata gw malah telat setengah jam buat foundation... trusnya guess what?! Si Angga tuh emang deh, dasaaarrr... dy ngajakin jalan bareng soalnya mo ngasi kado.... really, it’s another surprise for me... ga expect aja dy bakal niat bgt ngasi kado pas hari itu juga, padahal senen kan masi bisa ketemu... tp gpp deh, dah dianterin mpe greja dg selamat.. hehehe :p thx ya Ga... ^_^

Trusnya, the last one... Abis foundation, tw2 Ci Lenny berjalan membawa kue yg berlilin ke arah gw, en tiba2 smua org sang “happy bday”... (Yg gw ga ngerti, kok gw bisa sih dodol bgt?! Ga kepikiran en ga curiga ama skali loh!!! Gw ga nyangka 4-5 meter di depan gw ada kue... hahaha)

Tengkiuuuu so much ppl!!! All i can say is my bday wasnt special till u guys made it special... ^_^ sampe temen2 yg dari Brisbane aja niat2in nelp gw... thx bgt loh ya... :)

PS: buat Xty, thx ya kadonya... buat Lukman n Ci Lenny, thx celengannya.... kebetulan bgt gw lagi butuh satu... jadi musti mulai nabung neh... hehehe :p trus buat smuanya yg ngasi gw kalung, thx juga ya... moga2 gw ga lupa make pas jumat... trus, buat yg ngasi gw gelang, thx juga :) oiya, buat melanie, thx coklatnya... enak bgt!! ^_^ last but not least, buat Angga, thx cd Norah Jones-nya... enak bgt!! :)

a Christian..

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean living.'"
I'm whispering "I was lost,
now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

bertambah usia...

hmm... here i am again... di malam hari tanggal 13 april.... malam sebelom usia gw resmi bertambah satu... hehehe :p

well, sebenernya ga ada yg special sih.... gw bener2 berasa biasa aja.... even gw sempet lupa, klo bukan gara2 temen2 gw yg ngingetin... ato nykp gw yg mengungkit2... karena, bsk tuh gw bakal ngejalanin rutinitas gw kayak biasa... mana ada kelas lagi!! tp gpp, di kelas bsk, gw bakal nyicip2 keju lagi... tp kejunya bakalan pizza cheese, jadi i guess selese kelas, kita bakal makan2 pizza... hahaha... serunya...

trus ya, td mgkn tampang gw serem bgt kali ya?? mgkn gw keliatan capek n cemberut... ada 2 hal yg bikin gw jadi seneng en start to get excited... hal kecil sih... yg pertama, td gw jalan pulang dari greja, 5 menit lagi trainnya dtg, jadinya gw buru2 gt... trus jarang2, ada org tak dikenal nyapa gw n senyum gt ke gw... tuh co nanya, "hey, how r u?"... simple sih... tp bikin gw seneng.. even tuh org ga kenal gw, ada gt yg peduli ama gw... :) trusnya, pas di lift wkt mo ke atas... ada 2 org bule gt... trus mereka turun satu lantai sebelom gw, trus sebelom keluar dari lift org yg atunya bilang, "have a good nite" ke gw... again... simple thing that made me smile... :)

Gw thank God aja... saat rasanya hidup ini biasa aja, datar aja... Dia selalu ingetin gw... klo gw ini special di mataNya... buktinya, Dia dah nunjukin careNya melalui org2 di sekitar gw... walo org2 itu ga kenal gw, n gw ga kenal mereka... :)

eXtraOrdinary...

Gw baru aja balik dari ret2 di Goldcoast (QLD)... begitu balik, 1jam kemudian gw dah berada di uni, en 2 jam kemudian, gw dah berada di dalem lecture room... (rajin kan gw???) huehehe :p

Anyway.... banyak sih yg pengen gw bagiin dari pengalaman di ret2 ini, cuma klo gw ceritain smuanya, kayaknya yg baca bakal berkunang2 deh matanya saking panjangnya...
Basically, intinya, kita itu sebagai manusia yg normal, seharusnya punya hidup yg XO (extra ordinary)... klo kita suka ngerasa bosen ama hidup yg biasa2 aja, datar2 aja.... itu artinya, sudah saatnya bagi kita untuk berubah (to change)... berubah yg seperti apa?? yaah berubah yg semakin menyerupai image pencipta kita (imago dei)...
Well, segitu deh summary singkat tentang apa yg gw dapet di ret2.. hehehe :p

Pas ret2, smua yg diajarin sih berasa oke2 aja... rasanya it's not too hard to gain an XO life... tp... pas dah balik ke kehidupan sehari2... berasa bgt susahnya... susah bgt nyari wkt u/ sate... susah bgt nyelipin wkt buat stop n think n be thankful for what He's done... ga gampang emang, tp pasti bisa deh... moga2 aja api smangatnya ga ilang tertiup badai kehidupan... hehehe :p

we often think that we are just ordinary people,
but with God, we can gain extraodinary lives...

10 things that make me smile :)

1. A blue sky with bright sun shine :)
2. somebody smiling back at me :)
3. a message from an old friend :)
4. a phone call from a friend :)
5. nice homemade food (by my mum) :)
6. to see my family :)
7. to be able to spend time with my friends :)
8. opening old photo albums :)
9. silly memories :)
10. to see the ones i love happy :)

felt worn out....

rasanya tepar bgt gw hari ini...
padahal ga ngapa2in...
gw lagi mellow bgt nih...

pernah ga sih, ngerasa pengen ditemenin, tp pengen sendiri juga??
sebenernya gw ga lagi lonely2 bgt, tp rasanya sepi...
tp gw juga lagi ga pengen rame2...
pengennya ngindarin org...
lagi pengen diem aja...
knp ya?? ga gw bgt gt loh!! hahaha...
pengen ngontakin org2, tp takut ganggu...
lagian, gw dah ga ada tenaga buat ngomong,
en ga pny konsentrasi buat dengerin....
kayaknya, di saat2 kayak gini, yg harus gw lakuin a/ tidur...
ga usah banyak mikir... hahaha...

-----------------------------------------------------

the full moon shines brightly in the night sky
and i'm here, wondering why my heart felt dark and empty

24 hours...

For me, 24 hours in a day is not enuf...
Today's been a long day for me... guess what?! i didn't realise that tomorrow is sunday, till my housemate told me so... i guess, i need a rest... too bz today....
I've tried my best to allocate my time... for study... for church... for family.. for friends... and for those who are special to me... but, it seemed that i havent been doing a good job...
Sometimes, i want to be in more than one place at the same time... i wanted to be with my friends, but also wanted to be with my family (which is imposible).... i really tried my best to give my time for my friends, for those who i cared about... but... am i wrong if i ask sumtime for myself?? I need sumtime for me.... i need my "novy time"... lately, i felt a bit exhausted... apart from my lack of sleep, i think the other reason is the lack of my "novy time"... hehehe :p

anyway, basically, i juz wanted to say sorry to my friends and to whom i care about if i can't spend enuf time wif u guys... i've tried my best tho... that's why i said 24 hours in a day is not enuf... if i could, i would choose to spend my whole time wif you....

keletihankuw...

capek!!!.... (ga boleh ngeluh!!)
hehehe :p

iya nih, ga tw knp (sebenernya tw sih knp :p), cpk bgt...
pengen tdr, tp ga bs tdr... kayaknya kelamaan depan kompie en kelamaan di library ga baek u/ kesehatan... hahaha...

hari ini, berasa sibuk bgt.. jam 10.30 baru nyampe rumah...
dingin bgt malem ini... u/ gw bawa jaket...
pegel bgt badan gw... mgkn karena tas yg berat... (lagi2 ngeluh) hahaha...

kangen bgt ama rumah...
klo di rumah ada mama yg bisa mijit gw...
ada kehangatan.... ada org yg nunggu gw pulang...
di sini... no one really cares... (well, ada sih... :p)

hari ini pengen say thanks to my friends...
thx buat yg nemenin gw di library,
thx buat yg nemenin gw di telpon sambil jalan pulang,
thx yg dah nganterin makanan buat dinner (the macroni was so yummy!!),
thx buat yg dah ngusahain dateng buat do assignment together...
thx juga buat yg mencoba buat nelp tp ga bisa msk karena gw lagi pake telp... hehehe :p
thx buat yg dah nemenin gw smsan sebelom tdr...
wifout u all, hidup gw bakalan sepi...
berkat kalian lah, biarpun gw capek2 en tepar hari ini,
gw masi bisa senyum keesokan harinya.. thx ya ^_^

today...

pengen cerita!!!
hari ini... a lot happening in my life... dari bangun tdr... sampe skrg... gw rasanya blm sempet yg bener2 ga sibuk....
gw bangun siang hari ini... klo ga salah jam 10an gt.... lumayan lah, tidurnya nambah satu jam karena day light saving dah abis.... hehehe ^_^
trusnya gw sarapan, mandi, en tidak lama kemudian, temen gw dateng karena mo minjem alat2 buat bbq... trusnya dy ngobrol2 dulu ama gw gt... jadi gw ga bisa ngapa2in en stuck ama dy for 30 menitan...
lalu, gw berasa laper lagi, so gw lunch... en ga kerasa, it's time for me to go to church...
ya udah, gw pegi deh dari rumah... lalu, gw nyoba rute laen... gw naek city circle tram, lalu ke parliement... (pertama kalinya gw ke parliement stn)...
trus, sampe di glenferrie, gw jalan secepet mgkn ke greja, karena gw supposed to nyiapin afternoon tea... plus ushering... tp untungnya dah di siapin ama Imel (thx mel ^_^)... trusnya sepanjang kebaktian, mgkn karena dingin en gw tugas juga, rasanya rada ga tenang gt... ga tw deh....
trusnya abis greja, gw juga sibuk beres2 sisa2 afternoon tea... lalu tdnya yg mo lgs pulang, ga jadi... karena mo nengok vivin dulu di rumah sakit.. (dy baru aja ngelahirin kemaren loh!!!)... anaknya cakep bgt!!!! ^_^
tpnya sebelom nyampe rumah sakit, ada ceritanya nih... mobil Imel yg gw tumpangin, bannya kempes en parah bgt yg kita dah ga bisa jalan lagi... so, musti nungguin adenya Imel dateng buat gantiin ban... the good point is, kita smua pada belajar caranya ganti ban mobil... hahaha... klo negativenya.. yaaa gw yg niatnya mo pulang cepet, malah jadi lama.... tp gpp... smua yg ga enak, langsung ke hapus wkt liat Joshua (anaknya Vivin n Cipto)... ^_^
lalu, gw di dropin sampe rumah ama Imel.. trusnya gw dah laper, karena dah jam 8.30an en gw masi blm dinner... selese dinner, eeehhh temen lama gw, Sandy, nelpon!!! ^_^ seneng bgt deh!!! ga nyangka aja... jauh2 nelp gw dari HongKong.. feel bad dikit sih, karena emailnya ga gw bales2... tp, gw seneng bgt aja dy sempet2in nelp gw ^_^
trus, skrg i'm supposed to study en ngerjain assignments yg dah numpuk, tp gw ngantuk n rada males... not a good thing!!! ayo nov, smangat!!! hehehe :p

manja...

entah kenapa... hari ini gw berasa gw lagi manja bgt... hehehe :p
well, bukan manja yg kolokan seh... tpnya tetep aja, manja....
manjanya tuh yg gw ga enak badan dikit aja dah pengen bolos lecture...
trus, males bgn dari tmp tdr.... maunya tdr2an mulu... gt deh...

hari ini, panas en cerah bgt.... lagi pengen bgt ke taman... tp, dipikir2 panas sih, jadi mendingan ngadem di rumah... hehehe :p
tadinya pulang uni dah pengen langsung pulang... tpnya akhirnya gw malah pegi lunch dulu ma temen gw.... ga tw, hari ini berasa pengen aja ditemenin... dasar temen gw pada sibuk... hiks... gw dilupakan... hehehe :p (becanda)...

udah deh... mo ngerjain assignment dulu... ga bole manja2 lagi nih!!! walo badan pegel2 en rasanya pengen bgt tdr aja... i wish my mum is here... ada yg mijitin gw.. huehehe :p

*panic mode on*

pagi ini, gw memulai hari gw dengan tenang... lalu entah karena kurang tdr ato ceroboh, gw jadi panik karena gw telat ke kelas hari ini.... en kelas itu penting bgt, dimana gw ga boleh telat... kelas gw tuh jam 8am, en gw baru jalan dari rumah jam 7.55am!!! so, dah ketauan bgt klo gw telat pagi ini... tp masalahnya, gw ga nyadar... entah bagaimana, otak gw tidak berfungsi dengan baik pagi tadi...

anyway... gw males cerita detailnya... intinya gara2 gw telat ke kelas, gw jadi panic...
en temen2 se-team gw aja bilang, klo gw keliatan panic bgt, padahal gw ga perlu panic...
jadi ngerasa diingetin buat belajar lebih calm lagi dalem segala situasi... hehehe :p
bisa ga ya??

long day...

hfff... *long sigh*
it's been a long day for me... well, ga panjang2 bgt sih... hehehe :p
hari ini gw bangun jam 8an... trus skrg dah hampir jam 12 malem, en gw masi blm tdr walo gw capek bgt... sumhow, walo gw tw gw butuh extra istirahat, en gw perlu belajar, gw milih buat ngerefleksiin hidup gw hari ini...

hmm... let's see...
hari ini, hvnt done much... cuma ke kampus, ada prac, trusnya gw nemenin temen gw ngerjain tugas, trus pegi belanja... bawa belanjaan yg beratnya amit2... sampe badan gw pegel2 skrg... trus pulang, trus gw buang sampah, trus cuci baju, trus mandi, trus balik lagi ke kampus karena ada acara club (ICM)... trus... makan malem... trus... nelpon2an... trus mandi lagi... trus bengong di depan komputer ga tw mo ngapain.. hahaha...

keliatannya hidup gw berlalu gitu aja ya?? nothing much happens... tp walo keliatannya singkat, hari ini gw belajar sesuatu lagi... seperti biasa, gw selalu dapet pelajaran tiap hari... kali ini, gw diingetin lagi buat jadi org yg ga telalu perfectionist en jgn telalu mentingin detail... ga usa gampang stress karena hal2 kecil... trusnya, care ama org laen itu bagus, tp jangan sampe bikin lu ndiri stress... itu sih yg gw lagi coba belajar... ^_^ sebenernya hidup ini seru sih klo kita mo liat dari bright side-nya... tiap hari selalu jadi kesempatan yg baru... tiap hari selalu ada hal baru yg bisa lu dapetin... gw belajar untuk melihat hidup ini sebagai suatu surprise... selalu baru, en exciting ^_^...

moga2 klo ada temen2 yg lagi jenuh ama hidup yg gitu2 aja... coba liat deh apa aj yg dah lu dapetin hari ini... even hal yg kecil, klo kita bener2 syukurin, bakal jadi suatu berkat yg besar.. ^_^

if life is so short..

Sebenernya kepikiran mo ngetik dari kemaren sih, tp blm sempet...
baru skrg deh sempetnya... perasaan gw sibuk bgt deh, padahal ga tw sibuk ngapain aja... hahaha...

kemaren, seharian tuh gw serasa dikejar2 ama wkt...
dari bangun tdr (kesiangan), sampe tidur pun di kejar2...
berhubung gw kesiangan, gw belom nyiapin diri buat practical hari itu, padahal gw seharusnya dah siap, mana gw leadernya lagi!!! masa team leader malah ga siap??!! alhasil, gw jalan secepet gw bisa, gw naek tram secepet bgt, pokoknya pengen sampe uni secepet mgkn biar gw ga telat en sempet buat nyiapin diri... trus dah gt, gw telat 5 menit buat prac, trus di prac-nya juga musti buru2, soalnya banyak yg harus dikerjain, en klo sampe ga selese, yaa ga dapet result yg artinya gw ga bisa nulis reportnya... lalu... selese prac, gw masi buru2 buat lunch karena breaknya cuma 1 jam... trus buru2 balik lagi ke uni buat lecture... selese lecture, sedikit lega... tp gw buru2 pengen pulang karena gw ngantuk bgt (semalemnya kurang tdr)... trus... saat adrenalin gw masi kerja n jantung gw masi dag dig dug... tram yg gw naekin hampir aja nabrak seorang pengendara motor, yg ga tw gimana untungnya selamet... tiba2 saat itu juga, gw serasa disadarin... hey!! don't live your life like in emergency room... capek sendiri... take it easy but seriously...

Gitu deh pengalaman gw kemaren... gw jadi kepikiran aja... org kebanyakan buru2 mo ke sana ke sini, tp suka ga mikirin keselamatan sendiri... kayak misalnya gw, klo dah telat lecture, yg dipikirin lecture doank, trus nyebrang jalan sembarangan, ga pernah mikir klo misalnya gw lagi meleng, bisa aja ketabrak... en seandainya sampe kayak gt, kan ga worth bgt gw keilangan nyawa gw cuma demi lecture... (bukan berarti gw encourage org laen buat telat ke lecture loh!!)... gw berasa sih... diingetin buat CALM DOWN... live in peace... tp bukan berarti jadi lelet... tetep harus be on time... hehehe ^_^